I always call people Maam or Sir. I was taught growing up by my parents to always use these monikers when talking to someone. So I called the bank and was talking to a representative and at the end of the call I said thank you, Maam. She didn't reply. Anyways a friend of mine who works at the bank called me and said "You offended one of the employees by calling her Maam. You don't call someone younger than you "Maam"." Now I have never seen this woman, know how old she is, what she looks like, or whatever. I was being polite. Am I wrong? If I am I'll do my best to change this habit.
2006-07-17 10:07:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No you weren't wrong... the teller sounds like an idiot to me... I wouldn't even worry about it...
2006-07-17 10:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 3⤋
You can never go wrong by using "sir".
Although you are correct and polite to use "maam", women are overly senstive about their age and get offended because they think "maam" is for older people. I fixed this problem, epecially when I have no idea how old someone is, by calling them "miss". Women believe "miss" to be a term for a young person. And if the person is old, then they're still not offended. They're either complimented or think it's funny.
But in our politically correct world, it's probably best not to use anything. Just say "thank you" or "please" with no gender reference at the end. It's kind of sad, but true.
2006-07-17 10:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by Farly the Seer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some ladies can be touchy about the "Maam" issue. They think is means they are no longer a "Miss".
You are however being polite and correct in the exchange. It is not correct to assume the lady on the other end of the line is a "Miss" when she may be a "Mrs." (Back in "the day" only unmarried women worked so you could safely assume is was a "Miss". Since often ladies do not give out their names for security purpose you are not able to call them "Ms. Doe". Or the such.
The last respectful Address is Maam. If the lady gets offended at that she is not a lady after all.
If you want to avoid the issue just say "Thank you for your time/help."
The problem is too few parents were like yours and teach their children the proper way to act.
2006-07-17 10:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal Violet 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If she is a married lady, it's always Maam. A man is always Sir. A young person would be addresses as Miss.
The gal who was offended is hypersensitive and that was most likely the first time she had been addressed with respect.
You can never go wrong by using good manners. Because they, sadly, are so seldom used in the 21st century people do not know how react.
2006-07-17 10:11:50 · answer #4 · answered by answer annie 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should not change your habit of being polite whatever the person's age. It's nice to know that there are respectful people still around, but if you really did feel a need for change the suggestion on Miss, or Ms. would work too, but I don't see any problems with keeping just how you are.
2006-07-17 10:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by ** 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it is better to say thank you honey. Maam is degrading because it makes you feel like an old matronly woman.
2006-07-17 10:10:57 · answer #6 · answered by cherie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She was just over sensitive. I mean, if you've never seen someone, how the hell can you tell how old they are? I'm 15 and I've been referred to as "Ma'am.." when dealing with people over the phone and crap because they cant tell how old I am. And I'm probably a good 15 years younger than them.
Hey, you're being polite, so you know... Go on being polite.
2006-07-18 07:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Calling someone "sir" or "ma'am" is appropriate even when you are addressing children! If this woman takes offence at common courtesies, this only goes to show how unfamiliar she is with them. If some silly female complains "I'm too young to be a ma'am!", you can gallantly respond with "I'm sorry ma'am, but my mother taught me to always address ladies with respect, no matter how young and beautiful they are."
2006-07-17 12:05:26 · answer #8 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ma'am is always appropriate. But I usually make a point of asking the name of the person I'm speaking to and use their name when I end the call.
2006-07-17 13:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by toota956 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am a woman and I don't like being called Ma'am by anyone unless they have a Southern accent (a real one). Then it's okay.
:)
2006-07-17 12:35:35 · answer #10 · answered by lord0cherry 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I try to avoid using either at all cost. I just leave it off the end. "Thank you" works just as well. People are too picky and it's just too hard to know what's right. I think you risk offending people more by saying it than by not saying it (though you were raised with good manners and I admire that!)
2006-07-18 02:12:48 · answer #11 · answered by kayleigh w 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋