I am 25 years old and married. My wife and I are wanting to start trying for a baby soon in the next year or two. My mother is trying to discourage me from having a child. I think its because she has never liked my wife and we have been together for 5 years. Since the day she met my wife she has hated her. She even tried to break our engagement up many times.
When I have talked about having a baby with my wife my mother does the following:
Makes sour faces
Says I am a “little boy” and I shouldn’t be having children
Says I am “messy” and I will not be patient enough to have a kid of my own.
She says she is “too young” to be a grandmother. (she is 49)
I am so sick of her. I am thinking about telling her to buzz off if she is that upset with me having a kid. I don’t live with her and she doesn’t pay my bills, why can’t she shut her mouth?
How do you deal with other people's opinions when you are starting a family?
2006-07-17 09:54:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
sounds like you should decide if you are married to your mom or to your wife you can hardly please one woman let alone 2 and if i were your wife i would tell you to cut the cord you are grown and its not up to your mother its up to you and your wife. yes i would tell her niclely to stop being rude. also i know from experience that they dont want to be a grandma because it makes em feel old.....lol but once they hold the baby all that changes
2006-07-17 09:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by faithfullyyours 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
when u have a kid thats your family, her oppinion means nothing seeing as she isnt the one conceiving a child. When it comes down to starting a fmaily it is between u and your partner, no one else has any say in it. If you think you are ready for a child and can support the child to the fullest extent possible, then why not? Thats another turning point in your life. Youve been married for 5 years and i think thats long enough to realize that this lady is the lady you can have your first child with. Just do what ever makes you comfortable and dont let your mother conflict with your life plans. Good luck on having a baby and good luck with your future.
2006-07-17 09:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife make the decision to start a family and nobody else. Sounds like your mother doesn't want to admit that she is old enough to have grandchildren. In having grandchildren she will have to face reality, she is. Tell your mother when you and your wife are ready to have a child you will and you do not need her permission.
2006-07-17 10:29:15 · answer #3 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have a calm, direct conversation with her.
"Mom, I love you. My wife and are are going to have a child. Are you interested in playing a role in your grandchild's life?
"Here's how you can give me your answer:
"If yes — be interested and supportive of us as we go through this exciting and scary process; show us your enthusiasm for the human being we are about to bring into the world.
"If no — make faces and unsupportive comments when the subject comes up; show us that you don't respect us as parents or the human being we are about to bring into this world.
"We will look forward to seeing your answer the next time we all get together, and will accept your decision either way."
2006-07-17 12:42:57 · answer #4 · answered by united 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok. ur 25 years old. u do not live with ur mom anymore, so she really doesnt have that much say in ur life even if ur her "little boy" lol. and she should be happy shes not gonna be a grandma in her 30's like some pregnant teens that i know. besides, its ur baby, not hers. u shouldnt be mean about it, but u should sit down with her and explain all the reasons why u would make a good dad. show her that ur emotionally and fianancly ready for this baby.
2006-07-17 10:00:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude I feel your pain, my MIL is the same way. Just tell her, she lived her life and had her kids and now you are doing the same. Eventually you are going to have to tell her to buzz off, my husband did. We've been married for 12 years now and she tried to break us up more than once. Things are better now, so hang in there. Good luck.
2006-07-17 10:00:22 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really gave yourself the answer. Rather than tell her to buzz off though, sit down with her and tell her it's your life and you and your wife will have children; that's your decision. Then tell her to please learn to accept your wife is a very important part of your life now and you want her to be as comfortable as you feel in her (your mom's ) home.
2006-07-24 01:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by VelvetRose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such a decision has everything to do with you and your wife, and almost nothing to do with your mother. I think you're a little bit too emotionally attached to your mother if you're even discussing it with her to that extent. To be really honest, I sense Oedipus undertones in her responses to you. I'm going to take a shower now.
Leave & cleave.
2006-07-17 10:01:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can just ignore them...or keep your personal life personal...You can tell your mom that if she doesn't like the idea of you being a father, then she doesn't have to be part of your life.
2006-07-17 10:07:21 · answer #9 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious talk with yourself before you do anything,- if your mummy lets you
2006-07-17 10:00:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋