Is anyone else dealing with a mother who is still meddling in your business, like about children?

Question

I am 25 years old and married. My wife and I are wanting to start trying for a baby soon in the next year or two. My mother is trying to discourage me from having a child. I think its because she has never liked my wife and we have been together for 5 years. Since the day she met my wife she has hated her. She even tried to break our engagement up many times.

When I have talked about having a baby with my wife my mother does the following:

Makes sour faces
Says I am a “little boy” and I shouldn’t be having children
Says I am “messy” and I will not be patient enough to have a kid of my own.
She says she is “too young” to be a grandmother. (she is 49)


I am so sick of her. I am thinking about telling her to buzz off if she is that upset with me having a kid. I don’t live with her and she doesn’t pay my bills, why can’t she shut her mouth?

Answer 1

Say "Why thank you Mother. What a charming thing to say."

Say "Why do you have such an issue with getting old? Why can't you just accept it gracefully? Trying to pretend you are 30 makes you quite ridiculous. I'm embarrassed for you."

Or simply laugh loud and long, saying, "Yeah, sure Mom -- 52 is young, and 76 is middle aged. BTW, how many 152 year old people do we know?"

Start buying her "Over-the-Hill" paraphanalia (mugs, cards, keyrings, shirts, mirrors, etc). When she complains, tell her that when she stops pretending to be YOUNGER than she is, then you stop pretending she is OLDER than she is.

The point is, you need to stop defending yourself from such silliness, and instead, put HER on the defensive for making such silly remarks. I think that generally, family confrontations should be avoided, but in this case? Go on the attack!

Answer 2

Just tell her how you feel. Ask her why she cant be just proud of you the way you are instead of always putting you down. Maybe tell her in a letter where she cant defend or dispute your feelings. Tell her if she has nothing positive to say, not to say anything. Tell her how you are fed up with it and if she doesnt stop you may not even let her see the baby. Tell her mom I am happily married of five years Im gonna have my own family now whether you like it or not, either accept it nicely or stay out of my business. Sounds mean but tell her now before she starts on you about how your raising your children. I think the letter writing is best.

Answer 3

Your Mother needs to butt out of your life. Something is wrong with her for telling you such things. Stand up for yourself and your wife. You are an adult, you can make your own choices and mom not be involved. You have every right to tell her to back off. This is your life, live it the way you want.

Answer 4

Pack up your wife and move to another town. Have lots of beautiful babies and tell your mother nothing until their 30 years old age and have babies of their own. Believe me, I speak from person experience, it's the best thing you can do for yourself, your wife and your family.

Answer 5

Don't tell her to buzz off. Just stop talking to her about these things. Talk to her about the weather and the latest movies. Make your own decisions, then tell her what you have decided at the appropriate time. If she tells you something annoying, just play along and say "hmm, I'll consider that". Then just do whatever you want.

Answer 6

I'm almost 40,my mother is always still in my business. Don't tell her what you're planning on doing or not doing,then she can't offer her valuable opinion in the matter. It's not her business anyway,really. So,tell her to butt out,or you'll move away from her and/or not talk to her anymore.

Answer 7

Good luck! I'm on my 3rd kid and mine still won't shut up. Now she just tells me what a terrible job I'm doing, how they'll hate me when they grow up. Everyone else thinks my kids are pretty good and that I do good raising them. I just don't listen to her any more.

Answer 8

I think you and your wife should move several hundred miles away and get your mother out of your day-to-day business.

Answer 9

no but I have a mother in law who insists on giving me head because my wife will do it different. sometimes I wake up with her lips around my one eyed yougart thrower

Answer 10

Dont say anything just do it and I dont think shell take it that badly