I mistrust guys to the point that I do not want to have a relationship with them. However I am not lesbian?

Question

Not only for what I have hear or seen. But also because, the reason why I am at this situation has been because I am the outcome of a broken marriage whose father was not responsable for his daughter. Any suggestions please.

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with taking some time to yourself. Be selective of the next man you decide to bring into your heart. There are good men out there, they just aren't as easy to find. Enjoy being single for a while, and let your heart heal.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are misunderstanding what trust is all about, as so many people do. Trust is NOT about someone else, trust is about you and trusting yourself to be able to handle whatever comes up. You can't ever control anyone elses actions, not for a minute and certainly not for a lifetime, the only control you have is over you and what you do about it. People don't come with pink slips and are always free to make their own choices, even if they are married, which makes it 'wrong' but they can still do it.

You aren't going to like this but I also think the broken marriage thing is just an excuse, something you use to hide behind so you have a reason never to take a chance. Half the kids in the country come from broken marriages and it doesn't stop them. But that would go along with your misperception about trust, you think its all about someone else and what they do, its not its about what YOU do and only you. You need to take responsibility for yourself and your feelings and start having some faith in you instead of finding reasons not to! What it all boils down to is YOU making a decision, a choice, not to be too afraid to try. Will you get hurt? Yes of course you will, everyone does sometimes, especially if they make their happiness about what someone else does. Will you survive that, get over it and move on, yes of course everyone does. Everything in life is just about making a decision. good luck to you, i hope it helps! And don't forget, the only person you need to trust is YOU, you can do it!

Answer 3

I caome from a broken marriage home where my father was not responsible for me subsequently, making me feel like a bastard son all my life. (sad huh). As well, I don't trust people much less women therefore, I find it impossible for me to have a happy go lucky attitude towards asking women out, however i'm straight as well. The only suggestion I have for you is that you should cheer up because women have it ALOT easier in this situation, because guys approach them and not the other way around. So at the very least you can still go out once and a while just to dull the pain of being alone or boredom, whatever. Chin up.

Answer 4

I'm not a professional or anything like that, so please just take this for what it is, friendly advice from a stranger:

Try developing casual friendships with men. Over time, you'll see and experience what you probably already know- that men are very diverse, some being very honorable and upstanding, some being dispicable, and others falling somewhere in between. Over time, you may find a way of "filtering" the good from the bad. Then, if you think you are interested, you might be able to trust one enough to attempt a romantic relationship without being overwhelmed by suspicion or other negative preconceptions.

Answer 5

Have you talked to a counselor about this? Try to just let guys be acquaintances for a while and watch them. Ones who act nice are the ones to be friends with. I think our society puts too much emphasis on dating and sex too early in people's lives. After a couple of years you will find men who are nice if you choose the right places to look. Strip clubs, bars, etc are generally speaking not the places to find great guys. Stick with clubs, organizations, church groups, where you will find more men who are a little more serious about their responsibilities and relationships there. Also a great deal of men between the ages of 14-25 are so busy trying to decide what they want in life and partying it is hard to tell what kind of "Men" they are going to end up being. If you find one you think is worth the time and effort tell him that you're going to try trusting him and then do it. You'll scare him away if he's a loser! (None of these rules are hard and fast! I found my husband, a very trustworthy man, at a frat party!)

Answer 6

My friend is the same way. She's an outcast. she's very weird, her refridgeratlor is filled with unlabled meat( Everybody I tell thinks that's creepy and I do too), and she has NO social skills. She only wants to play word games when i ask her to come outside. She's taken "special" classes, and she's never had a boyfriend and never liked a boy. She's always acting weird and saying weird stuff like, "I wanna be a kangaroo." She doesn't even have othre friends than me. And we're friends only cause I know she's needs someone like me to build her social skills. I asked her why she doesn't like boys and she always says because I don't. She doesn't even have a reason. I don't want you to end up like that. I know that some boys are inmature, but boys can be smart,funny, sweet, talented, and more. Don't catorgorize them as boys when you say you don't like them. Call out the boys you know you dont like.

Answer 7

You need to examine why you don't trust guys. It may be because you are going after the wrong ones. As women, we have a tendency to be attracted to the men that are the absolute worst for us. Some call it the "bad boy syndrome." Others call it simply bad taste. I can relate to where you are coming from, and sometimes it's time for woman to just grow up and realize that the "nice guys" aren't the men that attract you at first, but are the ones that will be the most reliable and love you most.

Answer 8

The first suggestion I would give you is to remove and guilt you may have about the situation with your father. It was his lost because he was not in your life. Secondly you must first love yourself completely before you can even think about trusting someone. Eventually you will then have to forgive your father as a means of freeing yourself, once those feelings are removed from your heart, you will learn to love and trust.

Answer 9

I understand your question, alot of girls look for guys that resemble daddy...in your case..daddy was a loser and you figure all guys are the same...I am sure you know that's not true, however, your afraid of being hurt any further...I can only comment that life holds no guarantees but love is worth the heart ache...and never loving would be a waste of not living life to the fullest...If you can't handle it right now ...ok..but please work on yourself to the point that you risk finding Mr. Right for you...you deserve a life with love in it..good luck..blessings.

Answer 10

Just get out there and meet people. Remember to watch your back and have high standards in the men you date. There are good guys out there.

If you're not ready to date, then wait until you're ready or get together with some friends at work and go out just to have a good time and let life happen.

Good luck!