What do I do?

Question

I want to tell my friend that likes me that I really like him too. But I'm going out with some other guy (my friend hates his guts) and I love him too. My friend was there both times my boyfriend dumped me (this is our third time going out) and was the only one who listened to me but my boyfriend is fun and I love him. How do I tell my friend I like him but I want to stay with my boyfriend?

Answer 1

There is no way.

You either want to be with one or the other, and for now you want to be with your boyfriend.

My question to you would be this: what has really changed over time that makes you think that the third time around will actually work? Have you or he changed so much that all of the problems from before are behind you? If even your other friends have abandoned you when you speak about your bf, doesn't that tell you something?

And in the realm of "you can't have your cake and eat it, too", let your friend go. He deserves to know that you are going to date your bf, and that is that. Leaving him on a hook in case you break up with your boyfriend down the line just isn't nice - and he is worth more than that.

Answer 2

I disagree with lily (the first to answer). I find it very easy to like many people at the same time, and in fact this arrangement works very well if those people also like one another. However your situation is a little different because your two friends don`t like one another. In this situation if you still like them both, be both their friends, but at different places or times. So make sure the two of them are not together with you, and arrange to see them on separate days. This can be achieved as I have a few friends who dislike one another and I can still be friends to all of them.
Of course when it comes to romance I believe the best situation is honesty. And it is only OK to have more than one boyfriend or girlfriend if they all agree to this. This may sound a little odd, but it can work as when I was in school I once had two girlfriends who were best mates, and in fact it was them who suggested I should share myself out equally. I did and it was great fun, I am older now, but can still look back at these times positively, and said I did the right thing, and no deception was involved.
I feel a little disappointed that at one time I could have two lovely girlfriends when now I have to make do with none, but such is life, just keep telling the truth and everything will be OK.

Answer 3

Do me 2 favours...

1) Don't string your "nice" friend along anymore
2) Get rid of the BF (he sounds like a jerk!!)

I think you need a break from the guys. Find out more about yourself (as a strong, single woman) and then decide what you are really looking for in life and a man.

Good luck!

Answer 4

hehehe...enough of the "grow up" and your a little girl crap. Don't we know already that this generation is different from our own? Love creeps up early and emotions and all this growing up or your still young crap confuses the hell outta youngsters. And second of all, yahoo is for asking questions...so answer them! Anyway, Listen up....

First off, I have been in this situation before...a long time ago. Your friend is just that. A friend. I know you like him but if you decided to date him, you would ruin what you have with him. Does he tell you all the guys you date are jerks? How bout when you guys talk really late at night and he tells you he wishes you were his girl, he feels comfortable and all that stuff that makes you smile? Of course you like him. He says all the things to make you happy. That's because he's your friend and doesnt wanna see you hurt and include the fact that he is trying to get in between you and your man! All guy friends are like that. Unless their gay, they'll find a way to sneak in and get you if they like you! Also, girls tend to go for bad guys who dont give them the attention they really deserve huh? Be Honest!? Plus, when you talk to your friend, he sees only one side of the fight...and thats yours. And then you have your boyfriend whom you claim to love huh? Well, I know couples fight and all that. But if your boyfriend loved you as much as you love him, he wouldnt dump you 2 times already. And if your ready to be in a serious relationship...ask yourself whether or not you want to deal with this stress? Sure, relationships are fun. You get satisfaction and kisses and hugs etc. But do you really need a boyfriend who is gonna play with your heart? Dump you and take you back whenerv he wants? When are you gonna get sick of it? TRUST ME....it's not worth it although this is an experience for you. Save the time you waste on fun good times that your friends will give you to last forever. The truth is, you need to tell your friend exactly what you told us. You know that your boyfriend is a jerk sometimes and only you know how he is with you. But don't lead your friend on. Stop with the flirting and late night talks. You'll end up losing him as a friend and his respect. It's a very hurtful feeling and then later you'll wish you never lost him as a friend because what if your boyfriend leaves you? Who will you cry on now? and why should he be your friend then? You used him to hear good things and make you feel better? What have you given him? It's too selfish for your own good girl.

Point being. Let your friend know you love him but are not in love with him. Soooo, Tell your friend that you want to stay with your boyfriend because you really wanna see where it goes. Tell him that you like him as a friend because you don't wanna risk your friendship. Even though you never know, it's a chance you have to risk taking if you want to. DO NOT put your friend on rebound...thats just wrong and inconsiderate. Now, how do you know that your friend will accept it? You don't. Whatever he decides, you have to accept. Why not? He has to accept the fact that you just wanna be friends anyway, right? If the friendship ends, forget about it. If he cant understand, thats not your problem anymore. You expressed yourself and thats that. Just do yourself a favor and be nice.

Truth is, as much as everyone will give you their best advice, you probably wont even follow it because most people will do what they want anyway. Good Luck with your dilemma...Take care.

Answer 5

u tell ur friend exactly how u feel. let him know that u like him but u aren't interested in being in a relationship with him. now if u think y'all could have something in the future them feel free to tell him that. but 4 now the 2 of u should only be friends. this boyfriend thats dumped u twice already, what do u c in him? i think ur friend likes u because he sees what ur "boyfriend" doesn't. think about it.

Answer 6

first grow up a little and then dump him but dont go out w/ ur friends right about..... just be friends girl damm just slow down a bit take it easy.... u dont always have to have a b/f being single is probley the funnest..... u can do anything with anyone w/out being called a whore and flirt with both and c which one of them makes the first move on u

Answer 7

thats a really tough situation. just think who you want to be with more, and right now it sounds like your boyfriend. but then again, if this is your third time going out with him, maybe its time for a change of guys. just dont hurt your friend.

Answer 8

Fun n Love. Two opposite words.Love is about commitment. ove is about being there. Love is about that magical moment dat last 4eva. Take a break 4rm ur present relationship n try di friend of urs. He might be ur Prince Charming.

Answer 9

it looks like you have a choice to make. i would say go with one or the other. you can't tell your friend you like him and then expect things not to change. also, by doing so you would confirming to your friend that you aren't a very honest person. why admit your feelings for someone if you're already in a relationship unless you want it to be over?

Answer 10

if i were you i'd think about what i really want...do you really love your boyfriend or are you just infatuated with him...to me it seems like this guy is just playing with you...he keeps dumping you...who's to say he won't do it again...and before you do anything with your friend i'd make sure he's what you really want...you don't want to hurt him in the process of trying to figure out what you want...