How have you mourned for a deceased family member?

Answer 1

My Mom died almost 4 months ago. I miss her horribly. I'd like to share a few things that have helped me. First is knowing there is a whole greiving process, and that my feelings were "normal". I'm going to paste the info because it is said better than I can say it...

"The Grieving Process

The word “process” does not imply that grief has any fixed schedule or program. Grief reactions can overlap and take varying lengths of time, depending on the individual. This list is not complete. Other reactions may also be manifested. The following are some of the symptoms of grief that one might experience.

Early reactions: Initial shock; disbelief, denial; emotional numbness; guilt feelings; anger.

Acute grief may include: Memory loss and insomnia; extreme fatigue; abrupt changes of mood; flawed judgment and thinking; bouts of crying; appetite changes, with resultant weight loss or gain; a variety of symptoms of disturbed health; lethargy; reduced work capacity; hallucinations—feeling, hearing, seeing the deceased; in the loss of a child, irrational resentment of your spouse.

Leveling-off period: Sadness with nostalgia; more pleasant memories of the deceased, even tinged with humor."



I am right at that "irrational resentment of your spouse." I have a great husband, but about two weeks ago I hated him and was ready to leave and never come back...he didn't do anything, I just hated him and everything he did and said. Thankfully I am over that, and beginning to feel more normal, but I know it is going to take time.

I also have benefitted by knowing what the Bible says happens to us when we die. I don't worry about my mom because I know she is just "sleeping," awaiting the resurrection that Jehovah promised. I will also include a link that talks about what the Bible says happens when we die. Many people are surprised to learn what Eccl. 9:5 says. I won't waste anymore space. I'll just let you check it out for yourself.
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2005/8/15/article_01.htm

Answer 2

I started to mourn the death of my father one year before he died ... This is because I knew he was terminally ill, and grieving for many does start while they are alive and terminally ill. Guess this was great, because I got to talk to my dad and settle emotions before he died ... give him thanks for what he's done ... got to understand why he was such a detailed freak ... learned about his youth ... and reassured him that my sister and I would be OK. When he died, it was more of a thankful relief that his suffering was over. Since then, I've been struggling with being an orphan , and finding ways to mature on my own.

Another person answered the "Grief" stages, however, these don't' always go in the order she listed them ... in fact each is unique, and some spend more time in the "Angry" stage while others "Deny" the death ... Ooo, "Denying the grieving" of death is not so good ... it's like "Debt" ... you have to face the grief sometime in your life and if you put if off, then you'll pay the grief with compounded interest later .

Answer 3

I have moured several ways. The best was I cried for a short time then celebrated.

He died just before the holidays. He didn't want a funeral and would not want us to be sad during such joyous times. So we enjoyed the holidays and after the new year gathered for a "celebration of life" we all shared stories and felt good.

My grandpa Charlie was a great man and I learned so much from him. He wants me to be happy and I know he is watching over me.

Answer 4

I haven't cried... it's funny I cry at sad movies but not for those close to me because I believe they wouldn't wish it. I choose to remember them for who they were in life so I usually write about them in my family tree. I do not go to wakes for that reason as I prefer to remember them as they were not as someone who doesn't even look like the person I knew.

Answer 5

Never had people of my own until I had children of my own.

Had a grandaughter die at 11 weeks. Planted a tree so I can watch her grow and light a candle on her birthday.

I miss her, she was so adorable.

Answer 6

Love who they were. They would not be crying for their life with you. So smile at their memory.

PS This didn't exactly work for me, but it's better than depression.

Answer 7

Absolutely. But she knew the Lord and accepted Jesus as her savior, so I know in my heart, that I will see her again.

Answer 8

THANKFULLY I'VE NEVER BEEN THOUGH THAT, BUT, I THINK EVERYONE HANDLES IT DIFFERENTLY. SOME GO SHOPPING TO GET THEIR MINDS OFF THE BAD THINGS THATS WHAT I'D DO

Answer 9

cried