How long does it usually take to start making a profit from a homemade pyramid scheme...I mean religion?

Question

I was thinking of starting a religion out of my garage. How much start up capital do you need? What's the best way to promote it for long term financial returns? How do I go about getting myself tax exempt? Is it bad business ethics to use my religion to score chicks?

Answer 1

Religion is the perfect con. It is government protected, tax free, and the product they sell never has to be delivered until you reach a place that doesn't exist. Little wonder so many con-men (and women) jump on that manured money wagon.
If you are real slick, you can start milking the ignorance teat right away.

Answer 2

You are the reason that Religion fails! Religion should have nothing to do with making money, or scoring chicks. Those are needs that the physical body yearns for. Religion is the source of the answers that the psyche is searching for. Truth, belonging, explanation, values to have faith in, and other such things as you boyish mentality would have nothing to do with. Why waste your time with a religion when you can accomplish your goals with a porn site?

Answer 3

I don't think you actually need any start-up capital to start a church. But, it will take a few years of doing the crazy smelly guy in the street thing. Set yourself up as a non-profit organization, a tax attorney should be able to tell you how.

Answer 4

i'm no longer an atheist as a results of motives which you point out. i do no longer think of it extremely is totally logical to reject God basically because of the fact conflict exists. i'm an atheist because of the fact i do no longer think in God. era. I even have many motives, none of which you're in all likelihood in the slightest degree involved in, yet i'm going to share a pair with you. a million. there is not any thank you to understand. God left no information, nor does he supply us information. 2. All important religions supply eternal damnation for unbelievers. This looks somewhat merciless, and not something that a benevolent great-being might do. 3. whether holy books have been real, they have been tainted by capacity of guy's corruption. 4. The regulations of the universe do no longer seem to permit for the wonderful memories (miracles) portrayed interior the Bible...and cutting-area-day miracles are uncertain. Why might God section the seas and deliver plagues in historical situations, after which disappear from cutting-area situations? It basically looks to me that God supplied relatively some information interior the previous days. there have been prophets and miracles everywhere. Why do no longer we see those issues at present? nicely, i think you have an answer that explains this habit. My clarification is that this: The memories interior the Bible have been made up by capacity of primitive civilizations as a fashion to make sense of the inexplicable. we don't desire the fairy tale of "God". era.

Answer 5

Pamphlets!!!! Start with that. That should get the word out for you. Once you get a few ppl in your area to join up, grab those donations!!!! Then get a spot at your local cable co and have a couple of "witness'" to talk about you.

Tax exempt is easy. You can get ordained for free online... then you can apply at your local court house...

Nope... i think it's mandatory to use it that way.


How do I know this? I know 2 people who have done this in my area. ^_^

Answer 6

Goofball. I am a pastor and trust me, I certainly am not rich...actually I don't know any pastors who are (and I know a lot of them). Why don't you go to a church and ask them to show you how they handle money.
My salary for full-time work is $32,000 a year (standard of living is right around that or higher).

Oh, and the religion to score chicks...I'll have to think about that one. Personally, I think carrying a baby around in the mall works better.

Answer 7

Lucky Fokker forgot to mention the weird accent... you defininately need to come up with a stange accent that is not identifiable with any nationality or ethnic group on the planet. Check out Benny Hinn as a good example. Oh... yeah... I almost forgot... you need to come up with a strange way of saying 'Jesus'... something along the lines of 'Jayyyyzzzzussss'.

Answer 8

First of all, you got to get on TV. You got to get yourself a wild hairdo, cheap suit, some gawdy, ornate furniture and the ability to cry on cue. A sidekick is always good, prefferably a woman.

Answer 9

Well you could start by making yourself a false profit. When enough people start to believe in your profit they will begin to invest and soon enough you will have a true profit.

Answer 10

Marry Tammy Faye. I think she's available.