My fiance seems to think that bachelor parties normally include a stripper/escort of some kind and that the purpose of the bachelor party is for the best man to get the groom laid his last night of single-dom. I have never heard of this, and I personally am not okay with this, but I want to confirm with the world that I am not the only one that feels this way - or maybe I am? Thank you all in advance for answers.
2006-07-17 08:48:18 · 38 answers · asked by B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Glad to know you all are on my side thus far. I think his point about the party was about trust issues - my father left my mother when I was little after supposedly cheating on her with her ex best friend. I cannot confirm this as true, as both parties are jaded, but needless to say due to their issues I have contracted some of my own. I think his point was that I should trust him enough to know that if he has a bachelor party and a stripper is involved that I should not worry that he will do anything, because I should trust him enough not to. I do trust him, I just don't trust him completely, much less anyone, because I have grown up always on my guard and don't want to give the opportunity to be railroaded by someone to the point of no repair. All the same, I do not think I am wrong in how I feel - if anything I think my fiance should understand how I feel and not be hurt that I don't trust him completley but he trusts me. What do you all think about this now that I've updated a bit?
2006-07-17 09:14:43 · update #1
Trust or not... This all boils down to whether both of you are in agreement with this type of party. Whether the party was for you / or him, if one of you have issues with the other being around this type of crap then the party should NOT be done. There will be fall-out in the future if this isn't consented to by both of you.
Does it really make sense to go to such an event right before the two of you make a life commitment ??? This sort of stuff is done BEFORE you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with! NOT after. you've already made commitments to each other by becoming engaged, he should be way past the bachelor play time... I say you both should seek professional couples counseling to make sure you have a great chance at your marriage. Good Luck !
2006-07-18 17:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
We did a prewedding party together to avoid anything like that happening. I think that this tradition has died a long time ago! I wouldn't let my man do that!! IT IS CHEATING and not at all fair to the bride!!! I was not okay with the whole stripper / escort thing either and because my husband has a lot of love and respect for me he agreed (although I am positive now that he did feel the same way I did). This is a new day and age. Tell him to create a new tradition. Suggest a golf game or something like that where he can't get into any trouble. Also try talking to the best man about your feelings and tell him that your marriage is depending on him and if he listens to you or not.
2006-07-18 09:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The truth is....I was a former stripper. And I can tell you this. EVERY bachelor party I went to, the bachelor got down. And usually the best man or the groom to be, would pick out the dancer that was there. So for all of you ladies out there, that don't think that your man is out there doing anything, think again. I also did a party where a stripper placed whippped cream between her legs and breast and the bachelor was the one licking it off. Think twice before you let him do it!
2006-07-17 09:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by bicheeeened30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. No. No. No. It isn't normal & it's not ok. It is for viewing pleasure, not sexual pleasure. I don't even personally think that it's ok to have strippers. If a man is about to devote his life to me, he shouldn't feel the NEED to look at naked women the night before our union.That is disrespectful.
Tell him that you are having a bachelorette party & you will be having sex as well with the male strippers if he thinks you are being unreasonable. See how he likes the shoe being on the other foot.
I think this marriage is starting off all wrong. A man making excuses as to why sleeping with another woman is ok?
But best of luck to you.
2006-07-17 09:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Cherie... If he really loves you, he would not succumb to temptation - even if it was his last chance before he got married. I think that there is normally a stripper or the guys go to a strip club, but that doesn't mean that he needs to get laid at his bachelor party.
How would he feel if the shoe were on the other foot, i.e. if you were to have a male stripper/escort at your bachelorette party so that you could have one last fling before you got married? I am sure that he wouldn't like it - and he should respect the fact that you would not like him to sleep with someone else a couple of nights before your wedding.
2006-07-17 09:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Only_my_opinion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heck no!!! I do not even agree with the bachelor party. He is NOT single!!! He is a man promised to a beatiful bride!!!! The whole point of being committed is that it is only the two of you!!! The whole idea is to be a virgin till ur married, which most people don't, but how can you marry someone knowing they cheated on you in such a way. This man is obviously not ready to make you the one and only sex partner so I would cancel this wedding until he gives up his boyish fantisies.
2006-07-17 09:50:56 · answer #6 · answered by hambone1985 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every guy that I know doesn't hire a stripper or go to a strip club just for the sake of looking. The guys can say whatever they want to, but they are all looking for some action. This "trust me" crap is blown way out of proportion. I do believe you should trust your spouse/significant other with all your heart, soul and mind, but why should you be trusting them in a stip club or with a stripper in the house? Why should the temptation be there at all? The only way to have a lasting realtionship is by not putting yourself in situations that you may have to utter the words, "It just happened, " afterwards.
2006-07-17 09:43:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know, I am just about as open minded as you can be, but no this is not normal and not acceptable. Any relationship is based on honesty, trust and well established boundaries. If you are okay with it, then allow it, communicate that fact and go on with life. However, if you are not comfortable with him having sex with a perfect stranger hours before becoming your mate, then tell him so. You should still allow the stripper to be there, just say no sex, oral or otherwise. If he screws up and you find out, annul the marriage.
2006-07-19 02:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by javelin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not normal or acceptable for the groom to get his lil' freak on with a stripper for his bachelor party and if mine tried something like that he already knows the consequences (a thorough beat down and no wedding) so we're having a joint party with no strippers or escorts.
2006-07-17 11:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by rodaerc06 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
OH HELL NO it's not acceptable! It's acceptable to have a bachelor party, IF he's talked to you about it. My fiancee and I are having a mutual engagement party where all our friends (male and female) are all getting together and a fun Irish bar and having a good time! It is NOT okay for your man to have sex with anyone BUT you. IF he thinks that it's okay and 'normal' to cheat, GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN! Better now than after you're married!
2006-07-17 09:18:30 · answer #10 · answered by Kitten 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋