I have to chose one parent...?

Question

Well my mom and dad live about 250 miles apart.My mom was drunk and my mom drove me,my brother and sister into a telephone pole.My leg got jammed and it broke the corts split us(me and my sister since our brother is only half) to go live with our dad since my parents split when i was 5.Now that I am almost 13 I have to chose one.My mom has been sober for 4 years.I dont have friends anymore living with my mom and when I visit her in the summer I have only e-mails from my bffs to keep me going.I love it with my mom but no friends and I would get a better education here but more fun and more family with my dad.My mom is against guns and I go hunting with my dad.She wont let me race in the mudd boggs(a car race across 100yds of mud)but i have won 2nd place and I want to win the next one as I have been working on my truck.Plz help me.I have a sister to consider too.

Answer 1

I personally think that kids need a mom in their lives daily. Dad is just as important, though, but the mother bond is so key. You are so wise beyond your years! Do you believe in God? Well, if you do, you can ask Him for wisdom and guidance and then follow the answer in your heart. You can make friends anywhere you go and you can still visit back and forth, right? Just be nice and persistent and consistent about asking your mom to permit you to race... sounds like that is your passion. If it is, she will begin to build trust in your passion and ability. Where does your sister want to go? I believe that considering your sister and what is in your heart, you truly already KNOW the right or rather, the best answer. Best wishes.

Answer 2

well, you know your mother is right, when it comes to guns. But you desrve to have friends, and to know both of your parents. You're 13 and already have and drive your own truck? You didn't say how your dad treats you, nor how your mother has treated you since becoming sober. And being that she is sober, can you really be sure taht the telephone pole incident wont ever get repeated? That was not a good thing. do you know for sure she wont go back to getting drunk, and possibly comitt suicide if you leave her for your dad? And which one treats you teh best and is the most parently loving to you? That's the one you should choose. If only you could figure out why you don't have any friends, where you'r mother lives. It's hard decision, as I'm sure you agree, sweetie. But I think you should choose your mother. Then find a solution to the lacking of friends, make some new friends and find yourself some new bfs. By the way, where is yoru sister? Is she with your mother, too? She should be with you.

Answer 3

The future that gives you the most opportunity is the right choice. Friends come and go but the stepping stones of life are only there for a Short time. The distance is not to great and you must understand Her not wanting you to do some things it to protect you. The mistake she made will always be with her but I'm sure She has loved you all the time. The drinking might have been caused by pressures from your father. Whatever it is no longer important. What is important is that you pick the life style that will give you the best future.

Answer 4

Just remember: No one HERE can tell you what to do -- we can only make suggestions.

What you could possibly try is a trial period with your mom. It sounds like maybe she's changed a lot in the past 7 years. It might be a good life for you if you were to live with her. You can always make new friends if you go to school, or get out in the community (YMCA for example). You should have a serious discussion with BOTH your parents & see if a trial year with Mom could be worked out.
You can still see your friends when you visit dad, along with going hunting & mud bog racing, and whatever else you enjoy there.

Answer 5

You now have the opportunity to choose, you don't have to choose. Give mom a chance and some time dear, and tell your dad how happy you are with him and that your feelings aren't going to change just because your with mom most of the time. If things don't work out and your mom has continued drinking problems contact your dad and the arrangement can be reversed at your choice also.

Answer 6

Your being placed in a bad situation, but understand you don't have to chose one. You have the option of choosing now, but that choice was already made some time ago by the court. By staying or leaving your dad's house isn't saying you love one more than the next, but you have to do what's best for you. Look at all the pros and cons of life with either one to make your decision.

Answer 7

Sounds like you already answered your own question. You seem to be happy living with your dad and you seem to enjoy the life that you have living with him - so stay put! You have built a life with friends and family living with your dad and there is no reason to change it now. You can always visit your mom or alternate holidays or something, but just because you are 13 doesn't mean you are obligated to uproot your life to go live with your mom.

Answer 8

think with your heart i don't think you mom drove into a pole cause she wanted to hurt you or family but she has been sober for 4 years help your mom learn more about what you love to do bring her to the races friend will come and go that best one will be your no matter were you are you have lived with your dad give your mom another try

Answer 9

You really should just follow your heart on this one. You need to go live where you think that you will be the most happy, and get the most out of life. It sounds like you want to say your dad, but you are worried about hurting someone. Don't. You cannot spend your life in fear of hurting someone's feelings all the time. There is no way humanly possible to please everyone.
If you think that your mother is at all dangerous then you should mention it to your dad to try to get your sister out of there. Hurting someone's feelings and safety are two very different issues. Please remember that.
You sound like a smart girl. I think that you already know what you want to do, now just get the courage to do it.

Answer 10

Forgive your Mom if she has been sober... but if you want to try living with your father you never know, it could bring some great changes for you. Try it for a school year and if not, you should be able to move back. Tell you parents it's not a matter of who you love more... it's a matter of where you will be able to get the most opportunities. Best wishes!