My son was supposed to go to Omaha with his father this weekend. But his father found out that he had to be gone longer than he thought. So, of course my son didn't get to see him, which is something he's getting used to. His parents were also driving down there, and was coming back sooner. His parents went to pick there other grandson up who stays with them for a month every summer. However, my son lives in the same city they do, and he hardly ever see them. Anyhow, his dad asked his parents would it be ok, if our son rode back home with them. His mother told him no, she just didn't feel like being bothered. I am just getting so fed up with her and the way she do my son. But, when she want to see him which she'll probably call for him once every 6-8 months, she want me to just be ok, with that. I don't want to be mean or anything, but I'm starting to get to the point where when she do call for him, I want to tell her NO, not this time. Tell me your input on this situation....
2006-07-17 08:34:35 · 13 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Say Yes for your SON!!! Don't punish your son for their bad actions. Later in life when your son is old enough to understand it all - you be able to voice your thoughts directly to these crazy people. Bide your time, hold your tongue - you'll get that chance to tell them - but for now let your son go with them when they call. Sweet revenge will soon come!
2006-07-17 08:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by Leila 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what is best for your son...emotionally. I understand they are his grandparents, but they don't seem to care if they upset him or hurt his feelings. I don't know how old your son is....but if he is old enough to understand, then explain to him that you know he loves them and wants to see them, but its not your choice to make. You cant force someone to be in his life. Obviously they dont care what the impact is to him and his well being. They are selfish and mean to treat a child that way. If it was me...I would tell them how I felt about it..if they get mad, then so what. What do you have to lose?...and maybe it will make them open their eyes and hearts a little more. And why isnt his father standing up for him?....this is his child....isnt it bad enough that he has had to get used to his dad making everything else a priority...but his grandparents live nearby and choose to ignore him also. How sad for your son. Really...stand up for him and let them know how you and your son feel...he deserves better. And it seems he has no one else to show him what love really is. He will appreciate it more as he gets older too. The relationship between a mother and her son is almost impossible to break, I know...I have a 19 year old who tells me I'm the number 1 woman in his life and always will be......although I know that will change if he gets married...its still nice to know that he feels that way. His father left when he was 2 and came back into his life at 9, he lives in a different state and they see each other maybe once a year. But they talk on the phone alot. I raised him alone and am very proud of the man he has grown into, and I know...that I can take the credit for that....so stand tall and proud and speak up for your son...he deserves it.........Good Luck !!!!
2006-07-17 15:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried telling them to stop being slacker grandparents? Thats what they are doing being slackers...you could try to get full custody of your son to prove the point that you dont need them there to belittle you and make you feel like crap, you don't deserve it and neither does your son as I am sure it is devastating to him to have to go through life knowing that grandma and grandpa dont like him as much as the other grandkids or that daddy is only a part time father figure...either way it sucks and I am sorry you have been put into this situation I know it is a difficult one but stand your ground whatever your decision may be.
2006-07-17 15:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by haroku266 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a stepmother to five and I have two of my home. Broken homes are hard on children. I grew up in one as well. I would have a long talk with his father and leave the decision up to your son whether he sees his grandparents or not. this way when he is older he will know you tried and how they did all one their own. You will show him just by being there to help him through the ruff times and to show you love him. He'll come to his own conclusion later in life. Trust me. My stepkids are the love of my life but were treated as though they didn't exsist when going to see their mother or her side of the family. We never stopped them from going if they wanted too. They love her still and always will but they understand that was her doing rather than ours. Now they are nearly grown. they talk with her but rarely go to see her preferring to stay around home. Let nature take its course. Hope this helps.
2006-07-17 15:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know this is hard for you; but, think about your child. How does he feel? I'm sure he loves his grandparents and you should be grateful that they come for him. His father should straighten out the transportation problem, not you. Explain to his father that you want to know in advance who and when they will be coming for the son. You know, it's been real patient of you to put up with this, but I can tell you that you will only hurt your little boy if you blow it out of proportion. This thing has more to do with you and the ex than with the inlaws and the son. Try not to be angry; try to set a good example for you son, like you already have. He will grow up to be a fine man. And when he does, he won't ever have to say, "my mama didn't like my grandma". God Bless you and your family....you're doing good.
2006-07-17 15:42:45 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why bother. Give your son the love and care he deserves when the time comes he will let them know how he feels about being a toy they can pick up when they want and then forgotten. Understand children form judgments on their own and do not need you to try and influence them.
2006-07-17 15:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by old codger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a delicate situation and I can understand your frustration. I was in a similar situation with my ex and his bastard family. What I did was let my son see and speak to them whenever HE wanted. I did not give them full access to my son because they would lie to him so I only let him decide if and when he wanted to deal with them. BUT I also gave my son's fat neck pig grandmother a piece of my mind and told her what a lousy lying biotch of a granmother she was. To this date she and I dont speak and its been 16 years. The last time myson spoke to her was 4 years ago. He doesn't care or miss her and it suits me fine.
2006-07-17 15:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't burn any bridges...there may come a time when you need her (shudder the thought). Be the bigger person here and as long as she treats your son well when she does have him, don't forbid him to see them. Separated families will always have hardships, much to the detriment of the innocent children.
I pray for you all.
2006-07-17 15:52:56 · answer #8 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's wrong. You should deny her access to him for a while. I know it sounds childish, but she can't just deal with him whenever she feels. She needs to consider the affect that has on your son also. Deny her access for a while and state why.
2006-07-17 15:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by Big Daddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is the son?
Let him decide if he wants to go with her. Then when she calls let him make his apologies to her that he has other plans that week.
2006-07-17 15:43:44 · answer #10 · answered by Auntiem115 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋