what i more important..spending time with my 2 year old by working from home, or a rewarding career?

Question

I am a young mother of a 2 year old. Until now i was working as a customer care executive, working from home, in evening shift. Although this allowed me to spend time with my kid, but this also affected her in that she slept late with me, and woke up late as well. Also I could not take her out as i used to work in evenings and I could not spend sufficient time with my husband.I was ok with the work. But now, I have found another job which gives me some mental work out, but i will have to move out for 9 hours+ commuting time during the day. I'm confused what should i do. What should my priorities be. Please suggest.

Answer 1

It depends on what you feel is right. I'm a young working mom as well because I have to be.

I stayed home with my daughter until she was 7 months old because I lost my job and I'm so glad that i did because that time was so important.

But now she's 2 1/2 and I couldn't imagine being home with her everyday. She has grown so much at her daycare/christian school. She has friends and gets exercise and has alot of structure there. She's learned how to deal day to day with kids that she doesn't really like all that well and is exposed to children from all different walks of life. Oddly enough there was a little girl in her class that is Muslim (she's transfered to a Muslim preschool now though). I think it's good for her to learn how to be independant and when she's ready for kindergarden it will make the transistion alot easier on her and me both.

If you really need the break and want to take the job then do it. It will be hard at first on her and you both. But if it will mean a better future for your family then it'll be a good thing.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I am a mother of a 4-year old and I have had to work full-time since she was about 3 months old, even though I would have rather stayed at home with her. Simply, sometimes there are no other options.
She spends about 8.5 hrs a day at pre-school. It is very important to find a really good day-care. I think your daughter would be alright. Children at 2 enjoy socializing with other kids, and they respond well to the structure at a preschool. There would probably be some separation anxiety issues, so you may want to prepare her by starting to take her to daycare part-time.
Also, it is very important to have an employer who would be understanding of your needs as a parent and would be willing to give you some flexibility work-wise when necessary. If your potential new employer won't do that, then don't take the job. Look for something else.
I can't tell you which is more important - staying at home, or having a rewarding career. I think children come first, but I also know from my own experience that one can find some balance between children and work, and have a rewarding career.

Answer 3

Anyone who has children should make them the #1 priority. That's part of being a good parent. Anyone who is financially able should stay home with the children, at least until the children are old enough to go to school. Anyone who tells you to choose a career over children probably doesn't have children so they have no right to give an opinion. Think about this. If you take the new job then you will be away from home approximately 11 hours a day. You will probably be exhausted when you get home. Will you feel up to giving your child and husband the quality time that all of you deserve? You will need a babysitter or daycare. Strangers will be raising your child. Is that really what you want?

Answer 4

If you can possibly figure out a way to do it, stop working altogether and spend the time with your baby and your husband. Your baby will grow up so fast--you don't want to miss it, and no one else will love and care for your baby the same way you will.

You will probably miss the "mental work out," but make some friends with others who miss it too and know that in too short a time the kids will be all grown up and you can work as much as you want--you will likely find it's not as much fun as being a mom can be.

I have done it both ways. I now stay home and work only a couple hours a week. During the summer I don't work at all and that is by far the best and most fun.

Answer 5

A career will neve be as rewarding as family. But no one can tell you what to do, you will have to make that decision yourself! I am a stay at home mom, and I am now looking for a job so i can help my husband support us, but I absolutely hate the idea of leaving my children with someone else to raise. I have never left my 6 year old or my 19 month old with a babysitter, much less total strangers in daycare for 8 or more hours a day. the whole idea is way scary to me. You have to do what feels right to you!

Answer 6

This is a really hard question to answer because you and your husband alone should answer this one. I am a mother of a 13 month old who is currently working full time, however I am 5 minutes away from home and 5 minutes away from my sitters (my mom takes care of my son). Therefore I did not have too hard a decision to make, however you do.

Things to consider are: Who will be your childcare provider, how will you relationship change with your daughter, how will your relationship change with your husband. And lastly, is the money worth you leaving your child for over 9hours a day worth it?

I think you will make the right decision... good luck!

Answer 7

These early years are a time when your child's identity rapidly develops, as well as his/her concept of the parent/child relationship. It lays the foundation for all those years that are going to come later, like the teen years.

I'd wait at least until school age, 5 or 6, and even then, being away for 10 hours a day will be quite hard.

It's a very tough decision. I wish you well either way.

Answer 8

You need to consider what would be best for your family as a whole. Weigh the pro's and con's...in fact, list them on paper so they're visible to you and easier to sort out. Your child is important, but then again, so is your husband. Maybe neither job is right for your situation, and you have to keep looking. Don't keep thinking that one job will always be the right job, or that just because you have a job offer it's the only one you'll get. You'll make the right choice.

Answer 9

You answered already when you wrote "or a 'rewarding' career". That's what you WANT but you also know that it is not the best solution for your child. All your excuses ('could not take her out..' and 'not sufficient time with husband') lead in the same direction as well. You KNOW what your priorities ought to be.

Answer 10

If you can afford to stay home without working at all, then do it! It can be hard at times but it is so important. You can maybe begin to work part time once she starts school. In the meantime maybe you can take some online courses or something (if you feel the need to be doing something else). That is what I am doing. I stay home, take online courses and I get to spend 95% of my time with my toddlers! :)