Ya Know You're a Drunkard When (Part. 16 of ?) If ya don't like Subject DO NOT OPEN!?

Question

Willys cynical thought for the day;

EVERYTHING that works is based on simplicity, Fender, Gretch, Gibson and every other, early, amp maker took 99% of their ideas from old (even then they were) RCA manuals. But now this freaking century it has become 'hip' to have the latest Bullshit. But to build the latest mousetrap first you need to see what was done before and only a fool would base his mousetrap on a goddamn nuclear bomb!

Hey I couldn't resist, I've always been from the 'less is more' school although I never graduated!

You need a cosigner to open a bar tab.

The monkey on your back is in rehab.

You know that, with a bouncer's assistance, man is capable of short-term flight.

You have recurring dream you're hired by the Guinness\Playboy Research foundation to prove twenty pints a day improves your sex life.

You often take your lover for romantic strolls among the picturesque aisles of liquor superstores.

You will eat a bug for a shot.

You know wine is mentioned in the Bible over 250 times. Perrier? Not once!

You have strained cigarette-butt infested beer through your teeth.

You consider 3.2 beers on Sunday as Uncle Sam's cruel taunt.

You can hear someone whisper "free beer" from three blocks away.

You know the heartbreak of watching the bartender dump the spill tray.

You call the bartending academy, inquiring as to what they do with their mistakes.

You refer to your refrigerator as "the stand-up beer cooler."

You give directions with liquor stores and bars the the major landmarks, i.e., "You'll pass Argonaut's Liquors on the left and Scooter's on the right, then turn right on the street between the Satire Lounge and the Lion's Lair, then continue until you see the tree that looks like a huge martini glass."

You think vomiting is the body's way of making room for the next round.

The first thing you look for on a wine label is the alcohol content.

You consider Aqua Velvet a daring after-hours liqueur.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; WILLYS JOKES 2/9/06 You Know You're a Drunkard When; Pt. 3 Final Best, online, jokes anywhere! Bar (pun intended) none!

The Warnings was given in the subject line if you OPENED it now you dummy's want to blame me? Bwaaahahahaha

Answer 1

you buy 'lucky 7' instead of 'steel reserve' because lucky 7 is 8.2% and steel reserve is only 8.1%

Answer 2

BORING!
You do no good to the cause you clearly care about allot by spamming here.

Answer 3

you scream alcohol abuse when somebody spills thier beer!

Answer 4

Long...but good.

Answer 5

way too much to read