Do you think you gain or lose patience when you have children?

Question

My husband and I are planning to get pregnant fairly soon, our first baby will be born when we are 25 and 27 if all goes right.

My mother is not happy about us having a child because she thinks I don’t have a lot of patience. She thinks I should wait until I am 30 that way "I will have more patience" according to her.

My husband thinks I do have patience because I deal with him and our dog all of the time, and thats not easy task.

I think I just don’t have patience for my mother because she is negative and bitter about everything I do. She is always trying to control me and boss me around.

Do you think you gain more patience when you have a child?

Do you lose patience when you have a child?

We are having a baby no matter what and my mother will see she is wrong in her accusations. I have tons of patience with kids who aren't mine, I think I will tolerate my own flesh and blood. My mom is just screwed up.

Answer 1

I think it depends on age and personality. I was 21 when I had my first child. I never wanted children because they were SO obnixious! But I found I had much more patience with MY child because he knew the rules, and what I expected (respect and good manners), and followed them. Since then, I have had 2 more children and am constantly told "Oh, you don't work? Do you want to "keep" my boy/girl?" And My answer is ALWAYS...NO!!!...I love my OWN kids and am VERY good with them, because they know the rules. But if your kids came to my house...I would call you in a minute and say come and get them! My point...When you have your own kids you will train them as you see fit and will think it is appropriate. Other ppls kids? That's a different story!

Answer 2

If you understand children try and visit a kindergarten around lunchtime or the end of the day when mommy is just a little bit tried. Are you going to be there when he/she hurts herself or are you going to send daddy? Patience is one of the key issues. I'm very fond of children and dogs there a lovely match, fun. Mother's will always worry about there children having children this is a beautiful thing. I believe they feel like nesting again themselves just to be with you. Your mother has it difficult with your changes that why she isn't able to understand you, its not only patience. Its the love you are giving it, I would for your sake learn how to use your behavior by assuring yourself to be more at ease, stressing out is no way in having kids. You have to follow through with every word you say. Handle first yourself, jumping for children might be more a disaster than that has anything to do with patience. Just an experience.

Answer 3

i got married when i was just 17 years old, and got pregnant just one month after our wedding. it wasn't a planned pregnancy, but it wasn't an "accident" either, i consider it a surprise.
when my son was born, i was only 18. it was a little difficult at first having to adjust from a life that i could do whatever i wanted and whenever i wanted, to hearing a demanding infant cry for me all day long. however, i never regretted my choice. i made sure i changed all of my priorities and put him first and everything i wanted last.
all in all, i don't think my age played much of a role in how much patience i had with him being an infant(he is 2 now), i think no matter how old you are when you have a baby or how prepared you think you are, you will never understand what it is like until the day they come into the world.
on a side note, the older you are, the more you are set in your ways and it could be harder to adjust to something new like a baby. however, when you are young and have a baby you will have to give up doing things like going out at night, having parties, or going certain places for awhile. it all depends on what lifestyle you want at the moment.
however, it sounds like you and your husband really want to have a family life, so i don't think you will have a hard time adjusting to the demands of an infant. just remember, they aren't that age forever. :-)

Answer 4

lol... I think its possible to do both at the same time. Having a baby is so up and down. Nobody is the perfect patient parent all the time. Don't listen to your mother or anyone else. You and your husband are the only ones who can make the decision about being ready or not. I don't think having a baby is really about the right amount of patience but having the right amount of love.

Answer 5

I have 5 children and with each one my patience improved. Now people say you are the most patient person I know and I don't know how you do it. There are times I feel I am not very patient but you have your good days and bad there are many more good in my house. Also you live and learn. I think you will do just great!!

Answer 6

Trust me. You GAIN patience when you have children. For example, my kids decided to put a bag of cheese puffs in the microwave this morning and turn it on. I didn't get irrate about it. I just through them away and made them go to their rooms. Now, if I had never had children and a kid I was babysitting did it, I would call their parents to "pick that brat up." Things are different when it's your own child.

Answer 7

You kind of lose patience win you have a kid because sometimes they don't listen. But then again you could gain patience by putting up with their hard-headiness so much. So...I think you should because when its your own flesh and blood, like you said, you could tolerate them better than other people.

Answer 8

You loss patience when you have a child because you have too much problems going on in your mind that you can't just only focus on one time. Plus, you loss patience when you are older.

Answer 9

Dear Wife4Life,

To a certain extent, patience is inborn, and to a certain extent, it's learned. Remember that true patience isn't a mode of suppressing anger (though that may be involved), but in reality a form of charity or forgiveness - and therefore, related strongly to love.

I have a daughter, and my wife and I have only found more increase in charity, patience, and love with the birth of our daughter, not only with her, but with each other.

--j.

Answer 10

I think having children will teach you to be more patient, because you get used to the imperfection that is in front of you everyday. I am not trying to insult you or anything, I'm just saying that kids normally make a lot of mistakes, and as you guide them across that long journey, you will be able to accept those mistakes more easily as you go on.

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