Can mothers be bad?

Question

can mothers be selfish and bad? Can they be partial towards one of their kids?

If so, what makes them do so?

Answer 1

I'm sure they can be. Some people don't want kids to begin with and they take it out on the kids. There are many reasons why parents would be like that, but none are excusable. Children don't ask to be born, so people need to practice safe sex so they don't end up with unwanted kids.

Answer 2

Sure they can. There are tons and tons of horrible mothers out there now.

On yahoo answers a few weeks ago there is a woman who refused to breastfeed her kid cause she didn't want to "ruin" her bust and to her her looks were more important.

There are many who would rather pass the kids off to a daycare so they can work and feel more fulfilment in that than raising the kid.

It tends though that a bad mother treats all the kids not so well or is nice to them all. It can happen that a mother has more in common with one kid and the dad might another. They may seem more partial to the one but they likely love both equal. They just relate better to the one.

What generally makes a bad parents is one of the following folks like Dr.Spock and other nutjob child "specialists" who give bad info.

People being taught that they are the most important ting on teh earth. And not that those you care about especially your children should come first.

Answer 3

Yes, mothers can be bad. They can be jealous of their children, especially children of the same sex. They take their frusteration they feel towards the father out on the sons, Then there are mothers that have no feeling toward their children what so ever, they had children because it is the thing to do, refused to use birthcontrol, or didn't have the money for an abortion.

Sometimes mothers can play favorites towards certain children, sometimes because they aren't aware they are doing so, because one child they don't like, and want that child to feel their rejection, or because that is how they were raised to give more love either toward a son, or daughter.

Answer 4

Uh, in a word, YES!!! Mothers are not a special class of people. They can be evil, selfish, mean-spirited; you name it. What makes them that way? The root of the problem is SELFISHNESS. We're taught that mothers think of their children first and always take good care of them and would be willing to die for them. That's true for most mothers, and those mothers are GOOD mothers. Bad mothers either don't care about their children at all or care less about them than they do about themselves. Mothers like that should never have had children in the first place.

As for a parent showing favoritism, that can happen too. Bad parents favor one child over the other for a lot of reasons (like Mom loves her Mama's Boy or Dad loves his Daddy's Girl, one does better in school or sports, the one who is looked down upon is always getting in trouble, etc.) Sometimes one child was "wanted" and the other child wasn't. Good parents try not to show favoritism but it doesn't always work out that way. In cases like that, the parents have to be told that they're doing something that appears to be favoritism before they'll realize what's going on and correct the problem.

Answer 5

first whatever propted u to ask this questionis a misunderstanding. the case of mothers being partial is to be viewed in the angle that she knows each child's traits and one may do without extra care and attention while the other may not.eventhough it cannot be said that moms are 100% selfless and sacrificing a true mom always instinctuallycares only 4 the welfare of d child.if there are any hard feelings take time to sit calmly and think over the causes and results of such situations or thoughts surely u will see d light.

Answer 6

yes, mothers can be bad. This can be due to mental illness, as well as plain old selfishness, ignorance, immaturity and not being READY to be a mother.

Some mothers are bad and don't realize it, and they can be partial towards one child and again, not realize they are doing it.

There is no instruction book that comes with motherhood, and no formal training. Some parents simply aren't ready, and choose NOT to use the resources around them, like books, parenting groups, their own social circle and their parents.

Answer 7

Oh yes they can my dear! I happen to have one who is the master and can manipulate her children (my other 3 siblings) to do whatever she wants them to do and if they don't, either she starts the crying and/or turns into a major b*tch. It has gotten so bad, I am the 3rd of 4 children, her actions and attitude has forced me to see a therapist.

After I told him several of the things over the past 48 years she has done and still continues to do (at her age of 83 she actually picked me up by my coat collar after having slapped me around the head - in front of 2/3 rds of my family and threw me out the door and I was 47 at the time and had only been hit by her once, when I was 15). I was told by my therapist I could either tell her what she's doing is pushing me away permanently or just stay away.

Well, I ended up staying away for a few months and then she started the apologizing and it will never happen again so I gave in, this lasted about 2 months before things began to go right back to where they were before, still seeing the therapist I told him how it was going and he said obviously the choice is yours, but if she is causing you this much pain and grief, you need to separate yourself from the source of irritation and frustration.

She has been like this all of my life, so when I turned 27 I married and moved 4 hours away (before the hitting incident occurred) and I would visit and talk on the phone. Back in 2004, she and my father moved here within 2 miles of my home due to the fact my father could no longer drive (she gave her license up 10 years prior). This is when she physically threw me out of their apartment.

At any rate, after having decided to separate myself from her, I also have had to do the same with my father - only because he lives with her. He has Parkinson's, 90 years old and can not walk alone at all and needs assistance getting up and down and even with the walker or wheelchair -he should be in a nursing home or at least getting someone in who can help with his day to day needs. She doesn't like anyone in her house, so therefore he suffers and I am no longer allowed in the house. The oldest and the youngest of the 4 are definately her favorites and she makes no bones about that to either me or my older sister.

As far as what makes them do the things they do, only God knows. I could never and have never treated my daughter the way I have been treated by my mother, my father has always been the best father in the world and will always be that way to me. After having seen the way I have been treated by my mother, my daughter wants nothing to do with her either.

Maybe they had a bad childhood, verbally and/or sexually abused or were just born that way or became that way to survive whatever situation they were in. Good luck, I hope your Mom and situation isn't as bad as mine, some people have great relationships and others are like mine. Maybe she has alot of emotional baggage and hasn't or is afraid to open up and let anyone know.

Answer 8

there are alot of peple that arent mother material because they put there wants and needs before there kids because they havent grown up enough yet to understand that kids are miracles and you are supposed to love and care for them no matter what.Once you become a mother or father for that matter your wants and needds become back burner to your childrenThere are alot of moms that can not handle the stress of motherhood or have the patience to deal with kids and they take there anger out on the kids its not the kids fault thats why there are so many abused and neglected kids because of selfish parents.I once knew someone that had a child and she used to continually ignore her son and was always smoking pot in front of him needless to say her motherhood is over with and now she can be selfish by herself and her son will never ever get to know his mother but hes probaly better off that way

Answer 9

Yes and yes. Some women have kids and just really are not the best mother material. They put themselves and their wants and needs over that of their kids. Most mothers that have more than one child have a favourite. It can be for many reasons really. The child is more pleasant, more attractive, more loving etc.

Answer 10

They can be bad and selfish to a certain degree .But they should never put one child ahead of another, unless they want the neglected one to turn out like jeffrey dahmer .Who knows why they do it, but if they do, they should seek professioinal help for themself and their child.