A gay friend of mine lost his partner in a road accident - how long do you think it is acceptable for a same sex couple to mourn the loss of one of them? In my family if a woman lost her spouse she is expected to mourn for 4 years, for a male relative it's 1 year and 1 day. What do you think is sociably acceptable?
2006-07-17 04:50:38 · 31 answers · asked by stephen3057 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
you take as long as you need the persons sexuality doesnt even come into it. As for socially acceptable , two fingers to that, let your friend take as long as they need and B*llocks to what other people think he should do!
2006-07-17 04:56:52 · answer #1 · answered by Monkeyphil 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
This is a very difficult question to answer in a general manner. Every person, no matter what type of partnership is involved, is going to handle loss in a slightly different manner. It is acceptable for a person to mourn the loss of a loved one for as much time as they need to. Religious beliefs may be a factor, as well as individual familial beliefs. Most people will mourn a significant loss for a least one year, and some people will mourn the loss for many years, some will not ever enter into another similar relationship. Your friend has to work out what is correct for himself. There are support groups available for people who have suffered loss of partners, have your friend contact local churches or human services departments in local hospitals. If he is unable to make these type of contacts himself at this time; you could really be a true friend and make some of these contacts for him. Make sure you discuss this with him before you do so, he most likely feels totally out of control because of the loss and will like to have some say over what is being done on his behalf. I am sorry for his loss. God bless you both.
2006-07-17 05:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no socially acceptable time span for mourning. When a person mourns the death of a loved one, they are trying to find the strength to continue with life. That's a very difficult thing to do. In many cases, some people remain in mourning until the day they die.
2006-07-17 05:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mourning is a very personal thing. You put on a brave face to the world but when your on your own you can cry your heart out . They say time is a great healer but 2 years down the line I still deeply mourn my partner's passing and often cry myself to sleep, that is what my family and friends don't know and what I hide from the world in general.
I can't see what difference it should or would make for same sex couples after all we all have feelings and your sexual preference is irrelevant at that time.
2006-07-17 05:03:49 · answer #4 · answered by cmm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For as long as it takes. Everybody mourns in their own way and time. There is no set law for how long a person should mourn the loss of a loved one, it's up to the individual on how long they need. Just be there for your friend, offer him emotional support, he won't mourn forever, life goes on and he'll 'get that' in his own time.
2006-07-17 05:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by gorfette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No difference btwn gay and straight. Mourning doesn't have a timetable. It varies from person to person.
Suggest you ask you question in another section. Or better yet, try the library or Amazon. There are lots of books on death, dying, and greiving. Etiquette is about rules, you know, how to set the table.
2006-07-17 04:58:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mourning is personal. I take as much as I need; but, I dont expect or ask others to share my personal grief. My older brother died six years ago. He died of a drug overdose. I went to the morgue to identify the body. It was difficult. I feel grief and I share it with close friends. Never allow anyone to tell you when grief ends. That does not mean that you should'nt pay for your dry cleaning.
2006-07-17 07:12:39 · answer #7 · answered by Samuel P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a difference between public mourning and private mourning. It is unusual now to observe the period of public mourning, but your year and a day sounds quite reasonable, if you need to conform to a set timetable.
Private mourning remains private, and is nobody's business but the mourner's.
2006-07-17 05:01:52 · answer #8 · answered by Delora Gloria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was just thinking the same thing the other day! I have not lost anyone important enough to grieve for. but the death of my cat,and I watched him get hit by a car,and I'm still grieving,three yers later. It is up to the person,really. I mean,how much they loved the person and how close they were to the dead person certain plays a vital part too. I was close to my cat,so when he died,I was distraught. There is no limit on grief,I am told,but to grieve for a very long time,isn't healthy,nor to overly grieve isn't either. To not " move on" isn't healthy. It is up to the individual,as we all grieve differently. I know some that get tattoos,buy certain jewelry,ect. to mark their grieving status.
2006-07-17 05:40:01 · answer #9 · answered by Dragonflygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds harsh - but you should not mourn, you should rejoice/ be-happy and think of the good times you have shared with that person in his/her life time. You cannot live your live in pain & sorrow, I am sure the deceased friend would not want you to mope. Best Wishes
2006-07-22 02:56:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't put a time on mourning, it's different for each person, a really good friend of mine died last year from cancer and i'm still not over it. It takes time, everyone is different.
2006-07-17 04:55:42 · answer #11 · answered by FIONA C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋