suppose you and him have been best friends for a pretty long time and suddenly you realize that you love him...not as a friend, you know...and you eventually tell him about that, and he replies that he already knew that for a long time and he was just playing with you, trying to make you to want more.
and then he tells you that he would give you a "trial" period when the 2 of you act like a couple and if you could make him happy, you end up together.
any ideas?
2006-07-17 03:32:46 · 31 answers · asked by miranda 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think he will continue to "play" with you and waste your time. He knows you quite well and what buttons to push. The key word here is "playing, he has "used" you all along, I suggest you run away. If he has played with you all this time, he will continue to do so. If you both really discover you really care for each other, seek counseling that perhaps could lead to a long lasting relationship as in marriage. But remember, you don't need those kinds of people in your life. Take care and God bless.
2006-07-17 03:48:37 · answer #1 · answered by KonSengWon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As soon as I read your post, red flags came up.
Maybe that's not really what you wanted to hear, but somehow I get a sense that you already knew something was not okay with this situation.
The red flags are coming up around the issue of RESPECT - something no relationship can survive without. To me, his behaviour reeks of disrespect, not to mention control/domination. Where does he get off playing with a best friend's feelings? And where does he get off saying that HE's deciding on a "trial period" to see if YOU make him happy? It really doesn't sound as though this guy would truly have your best interests at heart, which is what you deserve in a relationship.
Maybe this guy really isn't playing with you - maybe it's his immaturity & his insecurity that had him saying those things to you BUT (and this is a big one) I really don't feel this guy is a safe bet, and I would advise you against pursuing this any further.
Easier said than done, I know - so if you are going to pursue this, then please - set him straight about his behaviour regarding "playing around" with your feelings. Let him know that you are both in a position to decide whether there can be a trial period & if it doesn't work out, EITHER one of you can back off. Let him know straight in a way that will engender respect.
And let him know that in the future if he wants to play, you'll drop him off at the nearest sandbox where he can have all the fun he wants.
2006-07-17 11:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by rdsukh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A healthy relationship resides on the cornerstone of loyalty, trust, respect and honor. Base upon the information you have listed, makes me wonder why you would waste your time on a person who plays mind games. Listen, dating is an act of two people interviewing each other for a long period of time. What hoops is he willing to jump through for you? How is he going to prove himself to you? If there is no compromising; then the dating scene between you two, was dead from the beginning. Just stick with the idea of being friends. To do more than that, might mean not having this person in your life as a friend; let along as a potential lover.
2006-07-17 10:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah what a ****! he is still playing with you, if you don't want to lose your friendship, give up on the love thing, it'll never be the same again afterwards if you do go out with him. Try and ignore your feelings, and find someone more worthy of them instead, you may also find that your friend changes his attitude towards you when he realises that you aren't up for the run around, he may really like you in that way too, but he can't act like a jerk. Keep him as a friend,and invest your heart in someone who isn't looking for a trial run!
2006-07-17 10:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by rami #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh.. Please!
Who does he think he is? Obviously, from his words, he has no respect for you.
Please do not bother to be a couple with him because it is going to lead no where, trust me. I have been there, done it.
He's just an a**h**e who thinks he's too good for you.
You deserve better.
You deserve to be with somebody who thinks the world of you, who will kiss the floor you walk on.
this guy will use you and dump you. If he feels the same way you that you do, he will not be wanting to try and see if you make him happy! What a load of c**p!!
Remain friends and nothing more. Make sure you do not let in you p**ts!
You are worth a lot more than that!!!!!
2006-07-17 10:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by ND2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys Point of View:
He's a controlling idiot, he's placing the responsibility for *his* happiness on you, while leaving his options open, and leaving himself and escape route. You should dump him, because he's not going to commit, any hurt you feel now will be much less than the hurt you'll suffer later.
2nd: You need to spend some introspective time, the tone of your conflict suggests that your self confidence needs some boosting.
Figure that you deserve respect... and don't let ANYONE manipulate you emotions.
2006-07-17 11:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by Gerard S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha, are you a crazy girl. if a guy was playing with me like that , i'd say peace. im not here in life to make him happy and make the world revolve around him and get nothing in return, please. a relationship is 2 people pleasing each other, not one trying to make the other happy all the time. hey, if thats the kinda man you want go for it, but you're just gonna get used and thrown to the curb. dont settle for such garbage....
2006-07-17 10:38:34 · answer #7 · answered by BTB 10/04/08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away as quickly as possible. If he is PLAYING with your mind, trying to make you want more? then he IS NOT going to make you happy. He is only concerned with HIS happiness, not YOURS. That is not a good start for any relationship. I'm worried about you when you say hs wants you to make HIM happy. You need someone who makes you happy as well. It takes two.
THAT is NOT what a best friend does.
2006-07-17 10:39:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd dump him...both as a potential boyfriend AND as a friend. No true "friend" would treat you like that...leading you on, etc., then act like he's so wonderful, he'll give you a 'trial' period to see if he likes you. F**K that!
2006-07-17 11:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the jerk now everything was cool until he came up with the trial period thing not cool Hes a jerk and you deserve better
2006-07-17 10:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by CYNDIITA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋