How do i deal with this? we have a great family with 3 kids already, she will stop at nothing to have another baby, how do I deal with her putting everything else in her life 2nd to this baby she wants?
2006-07-17 03:29:19 · 20 answers · asked by T C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You need to sit down, alone, without your current children around or in earshot. You need to explain just how you feel and why. You need to hear her out on how she feels and why. You need to make a decision based on logic and fact not on emotion and this is tough because women are creatures of emotion.
If you cannot afford more children, then it's only fair and right not to bring more into the world. Maybe you could make her feel better if you helped her start a small business of caring for children in your home as a day care provider. Sometimes this really helps women who just feel the need to have babies around.
Good Luck. It's a difficult spot to be in.
2006-07-17 03:35:02 · answer #1 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what to say but to get to the bottom of this is the main thing, you first need to sit and talk about it. Why is this 4th child so important to her? What is your reasoning on perhaps not wanting another child? Why is she putting this at the top of her priority list right now? Perhaps it can wait a little while.
Communication is the Key here. If your really not in to having another child then you really need to be able to give good reasons on why you feel this way. This will also help her cope with the outcome better than you just saying no. Is money the issue, are you doing well for yourselves now and another child may change that, the children you already have may suffer in the years to come from this. There's a lot of different ways to approach the issue but make sure your ready for all the questions on Why not she is going to give you.
I wish you the best of luck no matter what decision you and your wife come up with, this is no decision any one should take lightly
2006-07-17 03:44:11 · answer #2 · answered by Tigger7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is really not taking your feelings into consideration. Material feeling can also be VERY strong and those hormones can really give a woman a drive to conceive again. I notice I want another baby more around the time I ovulate and then that goes away, with a little help of my kids having a bad day lol I would sit down and give her your reasons why you are happy with your family size but also tell her you understand her drive to have another. My poor hubby, I had him talked into trying for our third and when it came time to start trying , I bailed! LOL I had a rough week with our kids and re-thought it. Now that a few years went by, he was right in his wanting to keep our family size the way it is. If she is still adamant about having another and is being manipulative in any way, maybe she can see the help of a therapist to overcome her immense drive, gl!
2006-07-17 07:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by The Kings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a vascectomy quick!!
I was the oldest of 4 kids and truely HATED my mom for having so many kids - I felt totally unloved because she clearly loved "babies" more than children...
if she loved kids she wouldnt have any more because emotionally and financially every kid is a drain on you both and it isnt fair to the others
also from a long term sence for the planet is it fair to continue to over populate an already over populated planet?? where will these kids find housing?? where will they find food when the housing has consumed all the farm lands??
The United Nations has warned that human over population will destroy us and put a long term sustainable level at 5 Billion - we are currently over 65. BILLION and the effects are well known and getting worse. It has been predicted that within 100 years if the problem isnt fixed we will have to impliment death sentences for people who reach certain ages... in The 70's TV show Logans RUn I beleive the death sentences were at age 30 ... probably in reality it will be age 50
2006-07-17 03:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked her specifically why she wants this child? What does she think it will add to your lives? What are her long term plans and desires? It is kind of fun being pregnant, you get lots of attention etc. Does she miss the attention, the feeling of being special? Go speak to a marriage counselor and make sure you are totally open when she is explaining this desire. Try not to be defensive make sure to explain your fears. I find that in marriages problems often start because everybody is looking out for #1. I would be very concerned that she is experiencing some sort of feeling of inadequacy, looking in the wrong places for attention and affection. Quite often women think that "one more baby" will solidify a marriage! Strangely enough she might be trying to "save" your marriage in a twisted sense even though she's putting extra stress on it!
2006-07-17 03:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really wanted to have another child also. I know what she is going through. My husband and I have 4 kids between us. His, mine and ours. I wanted a daughter so bad. I still do! He got a vasectomy 4 yrs. ago. You just have to talk to her. My husband brought up good points on why we shouldn't have another child. That still didn't make the urge go away, but I understood. Why don't you want to have another child? Having another would not be a bad thing unless it would really hurt you financially. Look at that and maybe explain that to your wife. Raising children comfortably is a blessing without having to struggle paycheck to paycheck. Good Luck to you. Hope everything works out. Hopefully talking with her will help. :-)
2006-07-17 03:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by greeneyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me, but how would a man getting fixed stop a woman from having a baby?
2006-07-17 03:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by TPG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you opposed to another baby? Find out why it's so important to her....
I don't know what kind of lady she is, but if she will "do anything" to have another child, then she will have another child.
You may have to go get a vasectomy.
Good luck.
2006-07-17 03:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by moneymakingmomathome 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for some couples therapy! You have a situation of divergent needs and wants and this needs to get resolved so the both of you can be happy. Good Luck!
2006-07-17 03:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want any more kids tell her your not ready for another one right now. Its a decision that both of you should be involved in and she has to respect how you feel about it
2006-07-17 03:39:30 · answer #10 · answered by zoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋