I feelling really hurt right now.?

Question

I recently broke up with my b/f. We had a rough relationship. He took me through hell and back. We have 2 children together, and I'm trying to move on with my life. It is very hard for me. My boyfreind looks to be moving on with his life...He doesnt really call that much anymore..I guess he doesn't really care for his children.
I've recently put him on child support but he doesn't know yet. Not to gain money..but because he doesn't to anything for his children.
I am now single..and Im not trying to rush into anything like I did with him..cause now I'm a single mother. The next guy I meet I just want to take it slow..and wait till marrige to have sex. It seemed like when I was with him I had plenty of guys trying to holla at me.. but I always turned them down. But now since I'm not with him its seems like I'm not even visible. I lonely, scared, and I fell I need someone in my life who I'm compatible with. What should I do.

Answer 1

life has to move on no matter how rough the sea gets.

try to join a single parent group, maybe it would make you feel less lonely. don't give up, guys will only see you visible again once you let your face shine towards theirs.

you can also try to talk to every humans best friend ..... you will be surprised how much God listens when we have faith in him and let him know about our problems n fears.

Talk to him, he'll help you out like he helped me.

Answer 2

Hi Kayla22, I think you should take your time and go over some financial issues in regards to how you are going to support your two children. Don't be too much in a rush to get into a relationship, you will confuse your two children and give them the wrong impression of how a healthy relationship is suppose to be. More often then not, most guys are afraid to get into a commitment and will often leave when the slightest argument occurs. Don't be the type of mom that brings in strange men into the house every other day, it will do harm to your children. I know it's hard and lonely when life is beating you down and their is no real true shoulder to cry on. It will be too easy for me to say: hang on, this too shall past. But you and I both know that the pain is suffocating you. It's best to seek help from: family, support groups, etc... Stay away from friends that are not married, they will only bring you trouble and poison you mind. Get together with single moms who knows how you feel and might have the answers to your troubling questions. Be Strong.

Answer 3

It is probably because you have children -- it's not the children --- it's the fact that you are probably not "out and about" like you were then. Some guys are afraid to get involved when children are in the picture BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. So don't worry. You are right - take it slow. It will come to you. Second time around is much better anyway!!! Oh and the $$ -- that is the very LEAST he can do for your children. He should be there for them emotionally and physically too. Dad's are important to kids.

Answer 4

I think what you need more than anything is a good friend, someone that you can trust. You're priority are your children. If he is moving on with his life and not wanting to be in his kids life, well shame on him. He will regret it one day. You are a special woman, you are a mother. I am a single full time dad. I love that my son lives with me. I wish I could talk to you but this is the only way. I have so much I would love to say to you but can't here. You take care...

Answer 5

Unfortunately, many people think they can find happiness if they can just find a partner. Actually, the opposite is true. If you can't be happy within yourself when you are alone, you won't ever be completely happy even if you have someone. I went through what you are going through and my daughter is going through a similar situation but you have to concentrate on making a good life for you and your children first. No man is worth losing your self-esteem, your dignity or the welfare of your children over. Concentrate on making life better for you and your children by getting a satisfying balance between your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical life, then when someone does come along (and they will), you will be much better prepared to have a healthy and happy relationship.

Answer 6

Congrats on getting rid of the scum bag. I think you should take sometime out to rediscover yourself. a lot has change since you were with this guy. I know it's hard seeing him with someone else when you are not with anyone; but in the long run you will be happier because you took the time to get to know the new you. Enjoy your time being single, go out with friends, treat yourself to a day at the spa; just enjoy being with you for now. One day you will wake up and there will be many guys lining at your door because you will be radiating. You are a phenomenal woman and one day you prince charming will come......

Answer 7

Are you white trash or ghetto? If so, then this is quite a life you've carved out for yourself. Do you honestly think that the next man is going to start dating you AND take care of children that are not his??? Good Grief!!! Just concentrate on taking care of two kids you spewed forth from your loins and maybe down the road a man will be stupid enough to fall in love with you.

Answer 8

Spend your time with your children, do not be depressed , you have an experience and its results are with you, try to keep your interest in your children, do not neglect them, at right time some nice guy will turn in your life, or your ex will return realising his responsibilties.Time is a big healer and it sorts out right from wrong, although life becomes difficult, after doing things without deep understanding and trust. But things find out a way, to flow in their right direction with positive attitude towards your own self and about your children.

Answer 9

Hi and good morning, God Loves you God knows your heart in this state relax let him Go, and trust God. God Loves you so much, and has great plans for you. We all have made bad mistake and have been hung up over people and so on. Your kids are where your focus so be boys come and Go like the wind blows. Healing takes time.!!God will bless you with the right person when he see's you are ready. Your right wait to be married before you have sex. God intended on sex to be good inside the bonds of marriage, and when we go against the will of God this can get messed up pretty quick , if it begins wrong it can it can end wrong believe me i've been there. When you give all yourself to someone and then it doesnt work you are emotional tied to that person and sometime it takes along time to get over that person. And you cant do it alone God is your answer trust me, now beware of those guys who claim to want to comfort you in your time of hurt, i am going to pray for your right now. Call upon God read your bible. Ask God to for give you for living outside his will. He will bless you. If this Guy is moved on dont return unto him again. Guard your heart , because from it flows the issues of life. DO NOT LET HIM HAVE CONTROL OVER YOU PUT YOUR HEART IN GODS HANDS, and he'll take care of you. Are you saved do you have a person relationship with Jesus.

Answer 10

Honey, your looks are not what happened with guys... it's your demeanor. You're very hurt, very raw and feel really let down. This is going to come across to anybody, so being uncomfortable with that as most people are, they pretend you're invisible. As far as your children and relationships go, you're on the right track. Take some time for yourself once in awhile... have a "date" with yourself where you go someplace nice and read or listen to music... whatever you like to do. Have "play dates" with your children... when I was single, I took them places, like the park or to some activity and actually played with them. I did get some wierd looks, chasing them on the playground equipment, but mostly I got smiles and laughs and even found other parents following my lead. Sometimes, I sat with a book and let them play (or did that when they wore me out!) but actually DOING things with them some will take your mind off of things and help THEM cope at the same time. You will have reassurance that someone truly loves you (because face it, no one can love us like our kids when they're young) and they will be reassured that you aren't going to "leave them" too. Don't down talk the ex, but do be truthful in saying the two of you can't get along and that it has nothing to do with them, that he has to restructure his life, etc, so that they don't feel like he doesn't love them (even though he is a **** for not seeing them/helping support them). Have girlfriends? Try to get a monthly girl's things, even if it's at home playing cards or watching chick flicks and give yourself time to get your head on straight, your confidence up, and your kids "secure" in you, since their world is a little chaotic too. You're are starting on the right track so I know you already have a good head on your shoulders. and remember... there are four stages you'll go through: Shock, Denial, Anger and Acceptance. Don't waste your time on hate and anger... well, it can hurt you if you let it... it can turn to bitterness and you don't want that, so take your time, know you are going to make it through this, focus on getting you and your kids transitioned as easily as possible (because that's what this is... a transition) and things will start falling into place. I wish you the best of luck for you and yours.