I know this guy at work who is the MOST incredible friend to everyone ... he's really good with all the guys and females at work... we had gotten close once and it became kinda sexual, that has however stopped and we're trying to be friends again.... my query though is to the MALES out there... how is it that someone who seems so incredible be one of the world's most manipulative ppl when it comes to women, don't get me wrong we're still frens i care for him as a fren but i know his ex as well as other women in his life and i mean he runs around with so many women, as far as i can see, it took me a while to realise this... but he SEEMS to be SOOOO honest and good when u're talking to him alone...but i mean why is it that men do this?? purely BECAUSE THEY CAN??.... he's not even a young guy anymore, he's like 30 going on 31 ... i just want to know HOW CAN MEN HAVE THIS ABILITY TO SEEMS SOOOO SWEET AND TRUE AND THEN BE THIS KINDA MANIPULATIVE PERSON... why do it?.. how do u do it??
2006-07-17 02:19:40 · 6 answers · asked by washa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not a "man" thing.
I've seen men do it. I've seen women do it.
I think it's mostly related to personality giftings -- these people are social, they know how to interact with you in a way that makes you feel good, and they are looking to make you feel good (and thus themselves as well).
They also tend to live in the moment and run off their feelings, so that if something makes them feel good at the time, they do it -- regardless of what happens to anything. They tend to be self-centered in that way. And until people get hurt enough and they find themselves rejected enough times, they don't get it.
And until they develop a sense of discipline/commitment, they can't really get past it.
(I have a kid who is this sort of guy -- everyone loves him, everyone knows him and likes to be with him, but his emotions and commitments change constantly. Even when you know he probably won't follow through on something, you still can't dislike him easily. He just has the gift.)
So your friend could be purposefully using women. He might just be doing it without really realizing what a bad thing he's doing.
In any case, with that sort of personality -- take what he says with a grain of salt. You know now that what he is meaning to say and do is NOT what you were taking it to mean; he had intense, good-natured feelings, but wasn't nearly as committed as you would be if you expressed those emotions.
Recalibrate and keep an eye out for similar people in the future.
2006-07-17 02:29:59 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself, he's a manipulative person, a dog, a skirt chaser. Obviously by what you said he's also not very honest. If you want to be added to his "used list" then go for it. he's a player. I hope you see that and keep away from the creepo.
2006-07-17 02:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I'm not a guy. But, they probably do it because they can. And when they get away with it, then they keep doing it!!! Simple as that. It sounds like you have wised up to this guy very well!!! Very good for you!!!
2006-07-17 02:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean he's old. He's 30.
2006-07-17 02:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by Strike2? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I knew someone like that too - he's in his 40s. Tsk, tsk, men.... LOL! :)
2006-07-17 02:24:21 · answer #5 · answered by Luzzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
same reasons as why you ladies do the same thing too.
2006-07-17 02:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋