What should a mother do if her 7 year old son constantly smarts off to her?

Answer 1

Show him that there are consequences to his actions. Take his privileges away. For instance, if he smarts off to you, ground him from the TV for 2 days. If he does it again, make it a week. Or from the video games, or computer, or a sleepover.... you get the idea.

And stick to it! Otherwise, it will have no impact and he'll continue to smart off. It worked with my daughter when she was small.

Answer 2

Timeout only goes so far. It doesn't work on 7 year olds. If a 7 year old is smarting off, then it is out of disrespect for the parent. Unfortuantely, too many parents are afraid to hurt their child's feelings or are afraid their child won't like them if they discipline the child. Because of this, the parent is no longer in control and has lost the respect of the child. This only gets worse as the child gets older. It must be addressed now before it really is too late.

The only way to correct it at this point is to start being the parental figure that the child needs. Children need discipline. They feel much more secure when they understand where the boundaries are. What is acceptable behaviour and what isn't? Smarting off is definitely not acceptable behavior and that needs to be conveyed to the child. A good CONTROLLED spanking is what he needs. If spanking is done, it must be done in love. First it must be accompanied with an explaination of what the offence is and thus why they are getting a spanking. It might also require an apology from the parent for not taking care of this issue at an earlier age. The other thing that the spanking requires is a change in the cry. If it is a cry of protest, you will have only angered the child, it must be a spanking with enough sustained effort to illicit an apologetic cry. Once that is achieved, the parent must accept an apology from the child and make sure you give them a huge hug when accepting the apology. That should be the end of the punishment for the offence. Grounding or loss of priviledges for that offence would be wrong after the spanking. One or two good spankings in a controlled way will help the parent garner that respect they need to be the parental influence in the child's life.

Permissive parenting doesn't bring up good children. If a child respects a parent, they will also love the parent. If a parent is trying to be "the friend' of the child, then they have lost the parental authority and then the child will run all over the parent. Children will manipulate parents just like they do other kids if the parent will let them. They will withhold love if the parent doesn't do something for them or give them something. If that is happening, the parent isn't being a parent. It takes hard work if it hasn't been done before now, but if you gain their respect, they will love you forever. If you don't, they will suffer for it and it'll be the parent's fault.

Sorry to have rambled on about this subject, but I'm so sorry that so many parents aren't parents anymore.

Also, it is important to let kids be kids. Punish a bad attitude, but don't punish kids just being kids.

Answer 3

Remain calm, but assure the young man that such behavior is unacceptable. Then devise some sort of penalty, such as a five-minute "time out" each time the misbehavior happens.
Additionally, enlist the help of the lad's father - he should no more tolerate this sort of behavior than should the mother. And if the father is setting the example, she needs to do what's best for the 7-year-old and give papa an ultimatum: such behavior ceases or she and the 7-year-old will leave. Yes, teaching a child to control such agressive behaviors is indeed that important! Remember, you're a parent now, and you MUST live up to parental responsibilities. You're the mother, not a little boy's buddy!

Answer 4

When he's rude but wants something, do not deliver what he wants. Period. When he responds with something rude, he needs to take a 7 minute time out (and the clock doesn't start until he's quiet). Rude children don't deserve privileges like TV time, playstation time, computer time etc.

There is a great software program out there that will make it very easy for you to create a structured behavioral program (think a sophisticated version of the star charts used in school) that uses positive reinforcement to teach the lessons you wish him to learn.

Basically, he gains points for good behavior and loses points for bad. Those points earn him the privileges back as well as special rewards (whatever motivates your son - ice cream, allowance, a trip to the park or movie, etc.). It is extremely effective.

Check out http://www.easychild.com

Most kids that don't mind these days are lacking defined limits and consequences for breaking those limits. Once you get them back into place, he should shape up in a few weeks and this will make it easier as he gets older to keep it up.

The big thing with smarting off is that he is getting some reward for it, that reward needs to stop happening and in some cases, when he acts up he may need a punishment.

Answer 5

let him know that it's not nice to smart off to his parents and that kind of behavior will not be tolerated you need to take away something or put him in time out when he's in time out don't pay him no attention if he ask a question ignore him that way he'll know your serious. get a timer and put him in time out not that long only 7 min. since he's 7 he should'nt be in time out for 20 or 30 min. that's way 2 long. i have a 6 year old and she tried that once but she knows i dont play that so she tries that at school so i made her write sentences 25 times i've learned that it's always better to get down to there size and talk to them find the root of the problem that's always better than a quick swat to the behind

Answer 6

Unfortunately, that's what 7 year olds do. Hitting obviously is not the answer, but what I told my now 16 year old son is that I would not accept that kind of disrespect. I speak respectfully to him and I expect the same courtesy in return. Now you just need to evaluate how you talk to him and/or other members of the family,(like hubby) and make sure that he's not learning the behavior from you. And hug him and tell him how much you love him every day.

Answer 7

I'm not a big fan of time out's but here are a few guidlines if you are going to take that route.

a) when the child is going to time out, get down to their level and clearly tell them why they are going into time out : "You're in time out because you hit mommy and used inappropriate language."

b) stay calm while talking, do not become resentful or hateful when speaking. The child will just return the gesture.

c) if the child tries to leave time out, place him or her back repeating why they are there.

d) do not sit and stare at the child in time out. Keep an eye on the clock and go about your other duties.

e) when you return discuss why the behaviour was wrong (hitting hurts....that language is not acceptable and why) and ask for an apology.

If you are interested in just taking away priveledges, my suggestion would again, be to thoroughly discuss with the child what is happening, otherwise he or she will simply be angry and continue the behaviour.

COMMUNICATION is key. It's about building a working relationship where everyone knows what the boundaries and expectations are.

Kids usually act up when they are bored. Keep them involved in an activity (and not just tv).

Take time out for personal one on one time with your son. Show him in ways he can understand that you enjoy being with him. This will make a BIG difference.

I hope this helps!


***ADDITIONAL INFO***

Someone suggested physical punishment. I know I was spanked when I was younger and turned out alright, but think about it logically. We live in a more violent society. If we hit our children, how can we punish them for hitting others? It confuses kids. Set the example and do not strike your children.

Answer 8

threaten to send him away. I was a lil bit of a talker backer. And my parents jus said they would trade me in for a nicer little girl. That always works. Also ground him tell him he cant do the things he wants to do for 3 days. And everytime he talks back ad to it. Show him who's boss.

Answer 9

Get down to her level and talk to her and point out that it is wrong for her to do so. Also, remain consistant. If she doesn't stop, have her stand in a corner until she apologizes.

Answer 10

Personally I would resort to punishment. Washing the mouth out, spanking, time out, they al should work. My 2 y.o. started doing that when she first started to talk and learn more, I put an end to it quickly with spankings and time out.