i need help with a racist husband?

Question

my husband has zero tolerence for for people that are black. he uses the word ****** like i use the word food. i was raised in mississippi, and i have friends that are black. my youngest son is mixed hispanic. when my husband talks this way i feel like he;s delibertlly trying to hurt me. ant suggestions?

Answer 1

Did you know this before you married him? Suggest counseling. Tell him how you feel. If he won't go, you'll have to decide if your son if important enough to you, then divorce your husband. Good luck, it's never easy.

Answer 2

Was he this way before you got with him ? Or did it come out later? I think you should give him an ultimatum , to where he either stops or you will have to move on . If he talks like that around your son , he will feel that he is not good enough for him or be taught that it is alright to talk that way about black people and he could get hurt if he says it to the wrong person. Your husband needs to catch up with the times, and realize that he is not of the prefect race. One day I hope there is a black President and it could be a woman. How would he feel if he found out that God was black? We don't know that he isn't!

Answer 3

If I may color is not the issue here it goes much deeper. For someone to react in such a way is a call for help and the help will not come from U. Self expression in this manner is a sign post for U to look within your very being for what is true for U. No one knows U better then U know yourself. Find a doorway for your inner strength and listen to the silence within and there U find the answer for which U seek. What may seem to be one thing is something far different. The hurt that U are feeling is showing U something that U are not facing. Only U know what it is. Oceans of much love

Answer 4

He isn't trying to hurt you but he is not ever going to change. I have a friend who married a racist man. She's a white woman with a daughter that is half black. He provides for the child and spends time with her, but constantly uses the N word. I can only imagine what will become of that child's sense of self. Point out to your husband that the things he says could permanently effect your son.

Answer 5

Pray for him. My dad was the same way, my little sister married a black man. My dad loves this guy now. My dad's white, and married a Hispanic woman, so we are mixed. Anyway he has been racist towards every other race. He wanted his daughters to marry white men, the older ones that did, their marriages failed. I married a Hispanic and I am so happy. My sister married a black man and she's happy. Every one has faults we are all imperfect. Just don't fight with him and show him in a indirect way his own faults. Hopefully he'll come around.

Answer 6

Why do care what she thinks is it because you think which you have a accountability to alter her opinion because of the fact she has a distinctive view from you, or is it only which you against freedom of concept speech and theory like some bible bashing Christan or Muslim i think of your question approximately the thank you to tutor a racist man or woman is insulting as no be counted if it is a aliment particularly than an opinion, besides no longer something you claimed she has pronounced sounds racist to me she only does not think of she could desire to guard having mixed race young ones or is revolted on the belief of having black ones , you cant make human beings like some thing till you're a fascist On 2nd concept possibly it is you who feels insecure concerning to the concepts you have made relating to the colour of your offspring and your only finding for reassurances

Answer 7

Wow, i'm sorry to hear that. Racism is pervasive in all cultures, but i'm sure it's most difficult to deal with in a marriage. Tell him to lose the language or keep it to himself. If that doesn't work, cite the bad example he's setting in front of your son and his friends. If he doesn't respect how much it hurts you, whether his mindset changes or not, then perhaps you should think twice about remaining with him. Couples need to change certain things that matter significantly to their partner, and if he doesn't change this, imagine other problems that might emerge in the future on which he'll refuse to budge. Good luck.

Answer 8

There's not really much you can do to change someone's outlook or views. You can try to talk to him (which I'd assume you already have) about how uncomfortable this makes you feel and how you'd appreciate it if he doesn't speak negatively in front of your child. Maybe he can at least respect that. You just have to over look him the best you can and not let his ignorance get to you. Also, make it clear to your child that you do not agree with him and surely don't feel the same.

Answer 9

i have to say i too was like your husband yes people do change, you knew him i hope before you married him love will guide you through the l the darkness, i changed, how i open my eyes and saw we are all the same i now see no color , when he is ready he will change you cannot change him you can love him and help him see it is the heart not the skin /color that is the person. even us other colors can have a heart as your husband and only see what we want to see but truth we all have the same elements of nature , mind body and soul/spirit and it is the heart that is the giving life, of compassion, be understanding he is only .human and is in .great need of understanding and love, it is he that m=needs forgiveness not those that he see as color.. the light stronger then the darkness in truth their can be no shadow if you the light covers it with love.

Answer 10

Oh my. My hubby was the same way. He used to tell me he was not racist and then I would catch him making comments about blacks when he thought I was not around or when he was drunk. I realized he would never change and I divorced him. I did not want my child influenced by such hate and ignorance. I recommend you do the same. He most likely will not change. You cannot change attitudes. (A fact I learned in Equal Opportunity school)

Answer 11

I dunno if u can get him to change but maybe u could try sitting down with him and telling him his racist remarks are really hurting u. Tell him ur son is mixed Hispanic and when he says that stuff it hurts ur feelings. Does he get on with ur son? If he cares about u, I would think he would stop that behavior. I the doesn't get on with ur son and continues his racist remarks even after u told him it hurts u, maybe u need to think about if it's gonna work with him.