Tell me the secret.............?

Question

What is the secret to a long and happy relationship? Is it true that the first couple of years are the hardest? If so, then why is this??
Does true love conquer all?? What do you all think?

Answer 1

Relationships are bloody hard work!! Today I think people are seduced by hollywood blockbusters and romance novels which lead one to believe that once you have found 'the one' everything will be kisses and lovehearts. However this is unrealistic and it is no wonder that people just 'give up' when the going gets tough. There is no secret...but I have found that one must always try and make an effort, just with the small things, like for instance running a bath for your partner or asking them how their day was- it is the small things that count as they show that you care. But the major thing you must do in any successful relationship is COMPROMISE- sometimes you have to accept that you can't always have things your own way and you have to consider your other half. Also contrary to popular belief its OK to argue- it is a sign of a healthy realtionship- just as long as you LISTEN to the other person.... the course of true love never runs smoothly, but the rewards are second to none!! Good luck!!

Answer 2

Ask yourself a question - if you accidently killed someone - which would you call first - you best friend of 5 years, or somebody you have been sleeping with for 6 months???

The secret to a long and happy relationship is friendship. Look at some really old people around you - preferably married over 50 years. Ever notice that those that have "stuck it out" are very, very close friends and know absolutely everything (good and bad) about each other?

The hardest years occur when luck is running thin - sometimes in the beginning years, and sometimes not. Money problems, loss of a child, and illness are amongst the many problems that can make life tough. Hard years will always be hard - but will be harder if the couple doesn't work with each other - as best friends - when the going gets tough.

Answer 3

It's not a big secret. You need honest, loving communication.

You must be honest, but ask yourself if what you are saying is loving. "You have really ugly elbows" may be true, but it's not loving. There's nothing the other person can do about ugly elbows. It is important to treat one another with respect. As princezelph pointed out, having Christ as the center of your relationship is a big help in this.

Also, as dlmrgnk said, it's not 50-50. It's 100-100. Each of you should give 100% of what you can at that moment. Don't keep score. You could win the points battle but lose the relationship.

Yes, the first couple of years are considered the hardest. It's because you come with expectations the other person doesn't even know about. You were raised in different families with different traditions and different definitions of normal. It takes a while for two people to reach compromises on all those little things that make up everyday life.

Finally, I'm sorry to say that I don't believe true love conquers all. We each have free will. No matter how much I love you, if you decide to abuse me, abuse substances, etc., my love alone, no matter how true, is not enough to overcome that.

Answer 4

Personally I think that true love does conquer all - but it needs a little help along the way. My secret for a happy relationship is that I spend all the time that I can making my husband happy. I wear the clothes that he prefers (as long as I like them too), I keep my hair the way he likes it, I make his favorite meals as much as I can...I try to do all the little things he likes so that he knows I love him. I watch Star Trek with him - I hate Star Trek but it makes him so happy when I take an interest in stuff he enjoys. And he does the same for me, little things that seem stupid - like he'll buy me my favorite brand of root beer on his way home from work because he knows I'm too cheap to buy it myself. I think that those tiny gestures are the key to keeping each other happy and feeling loved.

I think that if the first couple of years are the hardest then I am in for some freakishly smooth sailing for the rest of my life...I don't think any years are "harder" - in the beginning you have to get used to each other. No matter how well you know someone, when you move in together you learn new things. When you get married you learn more new things. Feelings are new and sometimes foreign, and it can be hard until you find your rhythm.

But as time goes on, I would imagine that you have other problems. You have to keep things new and fresh so you don't get bored. You don't want to get lazy in your relationship. So to answer that part of your question I would say that the first couple of years aren't the hardest - it's all difficult to some extent but just in different ways.

Answer 5

The secret to a long and happy relationship is .......... WHATEVER WORKS! Everyone I ever knew who had that happy-I-married-them attitude always said that they could say anything to their partner with complete confidence that the partner would be understanding. So, I would say COMMUNICATION is key. How to phrase things so not to get the other person defensive, how to take criticism and suggestions well, good conversational skills.

Beginnings are always the toughest, no matter what. Once you settle into routines, things go smoother. That is just the nature of things, not just marriages.

I'm still out on the true love thing. I think compassion and understanding can conquer anything

Answer 6

The secret incredient is love, trust, and honesty. For most couples the first years are the hardest because it is something different for the couple to live together. You learn bad habits that most of the time you didn't need to know anyways.
I think true love can conquer all but it has to be both ways. One person can't fight for it to last you both have to fight for it. Hope this answers some questions!!

Answer 7

No, true love doesn't conquer all. The first couple of years can be the hardest but if the two of you make the relationship 100-100 instead of 50-50, you got a better chance of dong well.

Answer 8

Open communication and honesty. Love is not just a feeling or words but also action and hard work to keep it alive. I do believe true love can conquer all only when Christ be the centre of that relationship.

Answer 9

The first year or two is the hardest because there is so much adjusting to do, ESPECIALLY if you haven't lived together before. Plus you're combining finances, your identity changes, so much changes!! I think the secret is respect for eachother and communication. when you stop talking, even about stupid things like "I used to hate peaches, and now I like them!" then 10 years down the road you wonder what happened to the person you married?

Answer 10

Relationships that work depend on many things...

Honesty
Communication
Companionship
Understanding
Compassion
Compromise
Mutual interests
Trust worthiness
Willing to help each other NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

With out all of those, you have a problem... Gaps start to appear, resentments start to cause problems... Then one or other becomes bored or disillusioned... Nagging could happen... Then fights... Each person needs their own space... But you must come together when the time is required...

Compromise is something most people fail to achieve... They become selfish and resentful... Then want their own space, more and more...