A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy. "I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, "Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
2006-07-17 00:49:54 · 17 answers · asked by Joga Bonito 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Another One:
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
2006-07-17 01:00:52 · update #1
A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
2006-07-17 01:01:11 · update #2
I have some more,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
1. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
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2. What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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3. What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
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4. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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6. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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7. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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8. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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9. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
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Now some different answers
10. What is height of Secrecy?
Not attending your own marriage
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11. What is height of Activelaziness?
hiring somebody for your own morning walk !!!!
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12. What is height of Laziness?
adopting another child !!!!
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13. What is height of Craziness?
Trying to do blowwjob to a enuch
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14. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Going out from own house in the morning and getting back to neighbour's house.
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15. What is height of Stupidity?
Going to swim without underwear
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2006-07-17 00:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by Tanya S 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
not bad
have some from me
John woke up one morning with an enormous erection so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to bring it to his wife. The note read:
The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.
Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:
Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.
John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to bring it to his wife. The note read:
The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.
Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:
I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
So Do It By Hand!
another one
A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he asks. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You bastard!!!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"
have some more
Business was good at the local whorehouse and the madam decided to partition one of larger rooms. After the work was complete the carpenter asked for payment but was put off. After several weeks he still hadn't been paid and he regularly threatened, "Pay me or I'll rip out the partition." Finally the madam offered to pay him in trade. "Take any girl in the house and have your pleasure with her."
"I'll take you."
"Me? I'm an old lady. Take one of those young, good looking chicks."
"I want you."
So he took her upstairs and removed all her clothes, laid her on her back and put one finger in her pussy and one finger in her butt. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I told you before. Pay me or I'll rip out the partition."
2006-07-17 01:19:07 · answer #2 · answered by Aby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Jokes...
2006-07-17 01:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by griffinswinsky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fricken hilarious. and yet sad but true, all at the same time
2006-07-17 00:53:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cool dude!!! Tanya was also awsome!!! I give her 10 points...â
2006-07-17 00:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
Hilarioussssssssssssssss!
Thank you sooo muchhhhhh!
Please moreeeeeeee...
We Want More... We Want More... :)
2006-07-17 02:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by Pinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
Heard it before, but it still makes me laugh!
2006-07-17 00:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by fizzybubbly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gud
2006-07-17 01:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by jenni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad!
2006-07-17 00:53:53 · answer #9 · answered by ebay_jamielpd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cute
2006-07-17 01:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by Cija 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋