What should I do?

Question

I've suspected for ages my brother is an achoholic if I mention it he denies it ,he has rang me for food and i've run round to his house and he's walking in with drink from the off licence instead of buying food he bought drink.
I was going on holiday for 2 weeks and my cat had kittens no one could mind them I had to pay my brother £40 to mind them I supplied all the food after a few days into the holiday he told me they were missing I asked him to look for them which he said he did.
Then a few days later I rang my sons mate to go look for them house to house ,they were returned that evening .
I rang him and hes telling me they had got out of his shed again but they were in his garden so he had them I begged him to put them in his garage which he moaned was to dark etc I said i don't care they wont get out.
back from holiday im told they are missing a week and he's done nothing im so furious my mum thinks everything he does is wonderful and won't hear a bad word about him

Im 36 years old and he's 33 im married he's single and on his own in his own house,he tells lies and see straight through them.

Sorry he tells lies and I see straight through them mum believes all the crap he spouts

I don't aid his drink problem my question is mainly about him losing 5 kittens and no ones thinks its a big deal!!!!
infact he was the bottum of my list to mind the kittens

I don't have my kittens now all 5 gone ....
if you read some of the answers I do I have mentioned having them i'm so heartbroken they are probably all dead.

Answer 1

It gets to the stage when there is nothing you can do to help. The same goes to your Mum, if she wants to be so foolish. You have your own family to think about. They come first. The plight of the kittens says it all doesnt it?

Answer 2

Dear
I want to share this Solution with you.I was a Chain smoker and Chain Drinker 4 Years ago.Although this seems Bad But that true.
Now I leave that Stupid things

Solution
Improve Comminucation Between you
Dovelop Self Confidence to him
Try to be a Friend Not Big Brother
Let teach him the Disadvantage of using such things Not Directly but with some Posters and Advertisement.
(Generally such things impact wel)
Keep a Close watch with his Friend Circle (Generally Such habbits doveloped by Friends Not individuals)
Try to Change his current Place But Don't let him unattented
Try to Busy him with Some Creative Concepts
Definetly if he is younger then Your Mom have more attentions to him. Don't Try to change the Relations.Let them cool
I hope this will Solve your Problem
Regards
Alok

Answer 3

I know you love your brother and it's sad to feel like you can't trust him. Some people think that you can't love someone that you don't trust, but I know from experience, that isn't true. He sounds like he has never grown up and perhaps does have a drinking problem.. You should tell him what you suspect, see if he wants help and try to support him if he does. If he doesn't want to change, there is nothing you can do except to accept him for what he is with all of his faults. Just be a sister to him, but don't count on him to be a brother to you. Doesn't sound fair, I know. Good luck, sis!

Answer 4

stop aiding him with his drink problem if he has no food then let him go hungry.it may sound hard but in the long run he will realise that he has to buy food as well and that you wont keep bailing him out.
As for the kittens you will just have to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing you can do as it has already happened and not give him any responsibility of animals again.
try telling your mother you are worried about his behaviour his drinking ,destroying his life

Answer 5

I can understand you are upset. I have been here with my brother who is an addict, parents think hes golden boy. I just had to distance myself from him and not rely on him for anything, because he always lets me down. After a couple of years my mother at least is beginning to see why I have turned away and often takes my side now when he complains because i won't lent him my car (I am disabled, I pay for it, he trashes it etc etc). Just keep your distance, if he cannot respect you, you're stuck with him as a brother, but you don't have to have him as a friend. If anyone asks, just say you think he is an alcoholic, not only is it too painful to watch, but because of his addiction he doesn't show you respect, you love him and will be there if he wants to change, but cannot put your emotional wellbeing at risk for him.

Answer 6

don't leave your brother in charge of anything ever again - its not worth the hassle and probably ruined your holiday - don't give him money for food - if your mum thinks he is so wonderful let her give him the money - she will soon change her mind and wake-up.

Your brother is not your reponsibility, and therefore not your problem, i know you probably love him but until he admits he has a problem he will not listen to you so wait in the background and catch him when he falls

Answer 7

you are stuck with only one choice really. yout brother won't change unless he wants too and if your mum is backing him up then he's got no reason to change anyway..so your choice is whether or not you have him in your life. tough one but the alcohol is more important to him than you right now and his behaviour will get worse as he tries to fund his addiction. you can contact alcoholics anonymous for support for yourself and get professional information from them but from experience drunks don't face things until they lose everything and you'll save yourself alot of heartache if you can cut him out right now. if he reforms then great you get your brother back. sorry you can't trust him.

Answer 8

Are you sure you're not talking about MY brother? I wish I had some good advice to give you. I've not figured it out for myself yet. Whatever you do, don't continue to trust him with the well being of your pets.

Answer 9

Learn your lesson - your brother is immature and irresponsible, and may be an alchoholic. You can't change him, so take that into account in the future.

Answer 10

Don't let your brother get between you and your mum. When you move away... don't call him. But he will still be sucking off of your mum.