my brother's x gf and me are really close. me and my brother don't get on at all because of his drug problem. but now his x is getting invovled with him again and don't want to be invoved at all or pick up the pieces after. his x has 2 children by him and he messes big time with there head. i don't know what to do because i am surpose to be going on holiday with his x and really don't want to be invoved with them now. if i don't go then my parents will get upset because they are coming to and don't want to put them in a situation were they have to chose between his x and me. i know it's confusing but please try and help.
2006-07-16 23:22:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
honesty is definately the best policy here, as already said. first to yourself, you cannot change the situation, so you either have to live with it, or cut ties, i know its harsh, sorry. secondly your parents, and if they don't understand then that is their problem. next to your brother cause the kids didn't ask to be brought into the world, he should either change his behaviour for their sakes and his own, or else he should cut himself out of their lives. then lastly to his ex. if the kids are her responsibility then she should put them first and stop hanging around a drug addict and make sure they are safe both physically and mentally. this really makes me sound quite harsh, but i think it's what you really need to hear, i hope everyone involved can sort this out
2006-07-16 23:44:42 · answer #1 · answered by tina t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why should the whole family have to accomodate your brothers behaviour? I had a similiar situation myself, where I couldn't agree or condone a family members lifestyle so I distanced myself from them, this meant not attending various functions etc, people said I was stubborn etc for not pretending that everything was rosy when the family member was negatively affecting everyone as well as themselve with their crappy behaviour and selfish attitude. It caused a lot of waves and upset the so called harmony but in the end forced this behaviour to at least be highlighted and acknowledged and I like to think ultimately improved by my no participation in their lives. Do what you have to do for your own mental health and well being!! people are selfish if they expect you to do anything less
2006-07-16 23:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to break off contact with his ex girlfriend. she's obviously not very bright and you'll always be caught in the middle if the situation stays the same. be mature and tell your parents the ins and outs and why you don't want to go on holiday together. i'm sure they'll respect your honesty. you're surely an adult now and have your views just like everyone else. be brave and speak your mind!
2006-07-16 23:28:09 · answer #3 · answered by stingub40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you should go so that you and your friend can have a chat about how you feel with her getting back with him.She could be able to help your brother in some way, which would be good. Forgiveness is a good one too hun. Its goign to be hard but try.
2006-07-16 23:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and the family have kept contact with her, presumably because of the children.
that's ok.
taking her and the kids on holiday with you and your parents... that's ok.
it's all just family together.
go on holiday. everyone be happy.
worry about the drama when you get back.
maybe some time out will give her a new point of view.
2006-07-16 23:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am I the only one that noticed the incredible spelling in this question?
2006-07-19 14:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by Answer Guy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sense that forgiveness is the key here. I hope that helps you.
2006-07-16 23:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by internetoptimiser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes what you have to do isn't the one that is going to make you popular. maybe if you tell your parents honestly they'll understand. good luck.
2006-07-16 23:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by gonetotallymad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tooo big ques.........
2006-07-16 23:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by frnd_pandey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋