Ref:Help! I have been charged for Breastfeeding my baby and using the hard shoulder of the motorway to do so?

Question

I have posted a previous question so please refer to this. I just want to say that my daughter is my whole world I would never do anything to hurt her or put her in harms way. She is the only family I have and I would always put her safety and life before mine. It has been pretty upsetting reading some of the posts on here in reference to my question. I acknowledge that the hard shoulder is not the best place in the world to stop...I didn't need another 60 odd people in the world to tell me that. That is why I tried for a good 20 minutes to distract my daughter. I have never experienced her crying like that before and as time went on with me driving it just seemed to get worse. I became increasingly distressed and unfortunately I did start crying too because my daughter wouldn't stop. I would not allow my daughter to pass out if she was that upset...why would you think I would let that happen? I cannot be sure I was driving safely (continues in details)…

and when I did see my daughters face had turned bright red that was when I decided I had to stop as I panicked. I think if it happened again I would still do the same as giving my daughter feed did calm her down a lot. The police did request I drive off at the next junction which was nearer than the service station to continue to feed my daughter. The whole experience was humiliating to say the least. I took my top off for no other reason other than to feed my daughter. There was mention by the police of indecency but this was not reflected in the charges I had when I had to go to the police station and be charged (as well as finger printed, pictures taken and interviewed). The charges related to the offense of non-emergency use of the hard shoulder.

My biggest fear now is to go through the humiliation of being in the press. I don’t want this and the thought of this is very distressing. For those people who think it is ok to e-mail me with abuse please stop. I am trying to be the best mum I can to my daughter.

Answer 1

Okay darling, well the best you can do is to try and get across the fact that you realise this was wrong, but it seemed the only course of action at the time. Point out that had you continued to drive with your baby crying in such a way, you should have been a danger to other drivers, as you were distracted and distressed yourself.

Point out also that you were auto-lactating, which was also very distracting to you and made you uncomfortable.

Make it clear that you are aware this is the incorrect usage of the hard shoulder, but at the time, it seemes the lesser of two wrongs, as this would not endanger you, your child, and others in the same way as continuing to drive. Try to emphasise the fact that you were attempting to be responsible, anfd taht your concern was obviously and understandably, for your small baby. You have no prior exp of motherhood and were concerned for her wellbeing.

Appeal to the good nature of the court and whilst acknowledging that you were legally wrong, try to get across the fact that you were also doing your very best to put safety first and avert danger.

Your solicitor should help you with this.

Good luck honey, but there's a chance they will fine you.

Hope you and your baby are okay.

I'm not sure the laws regarding the media, but since you haven't done something godawful like murder, they may be able to publish the details, but not your name/identity. I'm sure there are laws for your privacy regarding this.

In my opinion, it was the responsible thing to do to pull over, and okay, maybe not the best place to breastfeed, but you couldn't drive on until you did.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Most likely you can just plead "no contest" which means you are admitting that you did what you did, but there was a good reason for it. You can explain to the judge that in your best judgement, you were using the shoulder for an emergency. You should also point out that your crying infant was a big distraction and had you continued to drive without feeding her, you could have gotten into an accident so you were really doing the what you felt was the safest thing. (It is important to state these things as your opinion or judgement and not as fact; you don't want to sound like someone trying to get into an argument but as someone who is caring about her child and about safety.)
If you want to make absolutely sure that you win your case though, contact Attorney Gloria Allred or the ACLU. If they take your case, (which I think they will,) they won't charge you. Before you even do that though, contact your local t.v. station or newspaper. Once the media gets wind of this, everyone will want to interview and very likely the charges will just be dropped as the police department will not like all of the negative publicity. Breastfeeding is a huge topic right now and breastfeeding moms have many rights!

Answer 3

It's one of those things that happens. You need to put it down to experience, though when you're a new mum there is an emotionally charged element to it all. Been there done that!!! If it's any comfort the same thing would happen for any reason other than a breakdown. You are to leave the motorway and park and then attend to whatever.
If you're that concerned about the press, you will probably be able to spot the newspaper reporter if you attend court. Some are freelance and have been known not to print your details if you pay them the fee they would normally get from the newspaper editor. I think they may make some profit out of your desperation, but it may be worth it to you.

Answer 4

thats not what the hard shoulders for, but if your driving really was impaired then you should have come off the motorway at the next exit.

If you really were that bad that you couldn't last that long then you did the right thing, the hard shoulder is for emergencies though I doubt the police will see it your way. They would probably say that you should not be in control of a vehicle in the first place. And that in the wrong hands it is a dangerous piece of equipment blah blah, but that is life. As long as you and baby are ok now then that is fine.

Answer 5

You CANNOT be charged for breast feeding in public, it is a civil right under UK law. However, the police were quite right in 1. requesting you move to the services. 2. charging you for improper use of the hard shoulder...although it would have been better if he simply warned you of the dangers and showed a bit of common sense.
His 'indecency' remark, if proved could land him in some seriously hot water for discrimination under UK & European law, but believe me, it can never be proved (sigh) unless he recorded it...and kept the evidence...and is willing to not 'oh, I lost it'.

The charge and presumably the fine & possible points is a harsh reminder that the Police would rather give you a ticket than be picking up the remains of you and your baby after a traffic accident as I presume that you stayed IN the car when stopped. Try to think of it that way - like disciplining your child in years to come - an actual punishment (consequences) has a much larger & longer lasting impact than "don't put your fingers in the socket sweetie, it's naughty".

Answer 6

You have done no wrong.

While the hard shoulder of the road is not the best place to stop, its a place for stopping in an emergency, and while feeding your child may not seem like one. Being a distracted driver with a screaming hungry kid is probably alot worse and in my minds constitutes valid reason to stop.

And as long as you were atleast 3 feet from the lane on the roadway I dont see you as placing anyone in any real danger, as long as you had a massive amount of space to merge back into traffic when you were done.

Answer 7

well, you have posted this like 5 times already but I guess ill answer this one... I think that you should not be humiliated because this is just natural. so what if the police think what you did was wrong? you knew it is not and thats all that really matters at the moment. just ignore the situation and go back to loving your daughter. im sorry that people reported you, but theres not much you can do about it now. just take this as an experience and a lesson learned: feed your daughter before leaving for a car ride. as for press, just ignore them and say 'no comment'.

Answer 8

,I think this is ridiculous that the police even charged you the hard shoulder is for your car to stop you weren't intending to stay longer than necessary .
Get onto a local paper or even the Sun they would be very interested in hearing this story and would help your case alot.
As for you getting emails nasty that's terrible I've been in similar situations where its been hard to get the baby sorted. Even with small children crying to get to a toilet and you are frantic trying to sort them.
What you did was what any other mother would have done in fact its scary sitting on the hard shoulder .I've broke down there but you had no other choice what do people want you to do listen to your baby cry her eyes out its gonna cause an accident your driving is also distracted it was in every ones interests you stopped .
good luck with court and I'm even amazed you are going there in the first place.

Answer 9

Personally i think the police were really cruel to you, a warning wouldnt of been to bad, but to be charged is surely very mean. Its too late to be able to turn back time and change what has happened, when you do go to court take a good solictor and stress your needs of your daughter at that perticular moment of time.

I suggest in future to go to a gas station with a public toilet, or even perhaps the services.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear you are getting offensive emails, equally that the police are charging you for stopping on the hard shoulder, however it probably wasn't going to go unnoticed in this traffic deviation obsessed country we live in....
in the press, humiliation for breast feeding your child?- rise above the idiots who would laugh at you.
Hope this all passes over quickly for you, and that the distress that you are feeling isn't picked up on by your daughter.
Good luck!