Why are some mothers in stores so mindless?

Question

This really really bothers me. I was in Nordstroms today just shopping and not once, twice, but five times was I almost injured because of mindless parents. Once a mother ran right into the back of my heel with her pram and tore my skin, another time a toddler, who is just left free to run almost collided with me! Other people just let thier kids run free, or do not even look where they place thier strollers. Sometimes they will completely block up a whole space. Others will have screaming, crying children just right out in the open for everyone to hear. I think this is the rudest thing, and this is not the first time it has happend. If you are going to bring you baby/toddler shopping, be thoughtful of other patrons in the store, or get a babysitter. Why can't mothers be mindful of others and control thier children?

For the record, I do have a child,a newborn, but I would never dream of taking her to a store like this, and if she was a toddler, she would be very well behaved before I would take her anywhere like this.

Also I don't think it is b*tchy to like to see well behaved children. When you make sure your child is well behaved, you are thinking about the people all around you. Just because I said that, does not mean I do not like children, that is completely wrong. I just think that mothers should be a little more respectful in public places

Those who are snotty are the mothers who think they can come into a public place and let thier kids run free, they don't have any respect for the patrons of the stores, or the shopkeepers. I think it is attrocious any mother who would raise thier child like that, with out any manners or etiquette.

My mother would NEVER have allowed me to come shopping with her a nice department store unless I was well behaved.

My neices and nephews are increadibily well behvaed, they are quiet, paitent and always say thank you and please.

A good mother and father can control a child, and teach them manners and etiqutte.

Answer 1

Maybe she has a husband who stays with her baby when she goes shopping. I think fathers often get overlooked, a good father and mother will take turns parenting, not just the mother doing all of the work. I think being a frazzled stay at home mom is no excuse. It takes two people to make a baby, and in my opinion, it takes atleast two people to raise a baby. A good father is there for his kids 100 percent, not going off to work dumping the kids completely on the mother.

I can understand this. A thoughtful person would have the decency to not take child out in public that was not controled, I don't think it matters if children sometimes cry or act up, if they start a parent should have the respect to take them outside and calm them down. When you had children, you accepted that your life was not going to be the same then when you where single.

I also think, like she said, there is something to be said about manners. More often then not, a mother and father might not be able to do an adequte job in raising thier children, and often need the assistance of a nanny. I know when I have my baby, she is going to have a full time nanny, not because I want to abandon her, but I want her to have someone to teach her manners and disipline.

If a child is hyperactive, he/she needs to be dealt with, I don't think that is a excuse for a poorly behaving child, and it's not something that others should have to deal with.

I think the mothers who let their children run free in stores and say " Well, they are just being children" are lazy and selfish, and don't think of the other customers, the employees,or anyone else. Just a few days ago, I was in a store, and a child pulled apart a display of shirts. The mother did absolutly nothing except gaze at the employee to clean it up.

And no, It's not the children's fault, it's the parents fault, for not putting enough time and energy into parenting.

Answer 2

I understand your annoyance but you have to take into consideration that all children cannot control themselves. I have two boys on the autism spectrum. My oldest , who is very mild, is such a good boy in public and actually try to help others in a store if they drop something or just asks them how their day is. My youngest is quite sever and has a very limited vocabulary. For the most part he is pretty good but if he is an oversensitive mood ( his moods change throughout the day) he might go into meltdown. People look at me like I'm a terrible mother but when he hits this point it takes two adult to get him under control so that he doesn't hurt himself. There is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. A meltdown is being without concern for safety or consequences. the reason I share this is that you need to sit back and understand that not everyone is blessed with a perfect child. And to assume they have someone who can watch them is unrealistic. All people have the right to be in pubic. For the most part, I leave my severely autistic son at home with dad, but most mothers do not have that option. I agree that SOME parents do let their kids run wild, but I am not going to assume that their situation is easily fixable and that I know all the answers. When I was a young mother, I felt the same as you. But then I was humbled with my child's disabilities and realized that life isn't always what it seems. This is why I have to hand out cards when my son goes into meltdown to explain.


" This child has Autism, He/She is not being naughty, and we are not bad parents for not reprimanding them, Children with autism can sometimes behave in an unpredictable manner because they find it hard to many day situations. They are quite simply, doing their best. Please be patient"

I want you just to consider those parents that cannot help their or their child's situations at all times.

Answer 3

Wow - okay here goes:

I do agree with you, people with kids can be very inconsiderate and let their children run wild. I don't think that is OK, however...

a) Some of us can't afford a babysitter for everytime we go shopping!

b) Kids are unpredictable. You may have a very well-behaved child, who sees something they want in a store and has a tantrum. The best behaved kid can have a tantrum, as you'll probably find out when your child is older!

c) Maybe you don't, but I used to find buggy quite hard to control. When my kid was little I found I was often apologising for knocking people with the buggy. Usually because they stopped walking without looking behind them first!

Kids are not animals, you can't obedience train them to be perfect and sit when you say "sit" - life is not like that. Nobody's perfect!

I have a hyperactive 4 year old, who sometimes (but not often) plays up in stores. I can't afford a babysitter, his hyperactive disorder is not something which will dissappear overnight. What do you suggest?? And what if your child happens to have this disorder when s/he is older??

Sometimes you have to consider that the parents are suffering too. You have no idea how embarrassing it is when your child is having a tantrum in the middle of a store! You have no idea that sometimes the parents are cringing bacause they are causing other shoppers grief!

I try to discipline my child and am doing my best, you may find out in a few years that your best is sometimes not enough. Your neices and nephews may be well behaved, but each kid has their own personality!

Answer 4

You obviously DON'T have children. Believe it or not, some children are difficult to control, and accidents happen. Little kids are really hyper. The mothers aren't "mindless." Kids cry. DEAL WITH IT! They have just as much of a right to be there as you do. I'm sure your mother can tell you some stories about when you were screaming your head off in a department store.

If it bothers you so much, go shopping during a time when little kids are less likely to be there, like later at night. Otherwise, quit complaining.

On another note, wait until your child IS a toddler before you start boasting about how "well-behaved" she will be. Because more than likely she won't be the perfect little angel you plan for her to be. You'll get some harsh reality in the next few years.

Answer 5

Believe it or not, not everyone has the option of not shopping...or shopping alone. And even *well-behaved* children cry sometimes. I have been nearly run over in stores by elderly people. Should we lock them up, too? I have seen plenty of adults leave a shopping cart (no child--just groceries) completely blocking an aisle. Maybe anyone between the ages of 20 and 50 shouldn't be allowed in stores, either!! Or is that the idea--you will be the only one allowed to shop...no lines, no having to compete with other customers...

Answer 6

Right?!!! I agree 100%!
I have children and when they were young I tried to get a sitter if possible. If I had to take them with me, I made sure that they were in check. If they did act up, I would leave. I would be too embarassed to stay! Some people just have no couth!
One example:
When my son was 3 years old, he laid on the floor in the grocery store & had a temper tantrum. I was almost done shopping, but I was so mortified that I took the cart to the service desk, apologized, picked up my kid, kicking & screaming & walked out!!!
#1 most important rule when it comes to kids:
KIDS COME FIRST!!!
It was my fault because he was overtired and I should have let him try to take a nap 1st before attempting to shop. It may be an inconvenience but it comes with the role if you want to be a parent!

Answer 7

These kids need discipline. My parents would never have let me behave that way in public.

If the child doesn't get discipline then he need some real life lessons.

Like getting kicked in the face as he is running around you.

Believe me, if you kick a child in the face when it is running at you carelessly, it will be such a horrible experience for that child that it will never behave that way again.

I hate kids. Because most are so ill behaved, and then you get these stupid*ss yuppies who read all of these flaky parenting books and all they ever do is tell little Connor Michael that he is loved and reinforced.

Kick the kid, if it is behaving like an unruly little dog, then it should be treated like one.

Answer 8

Let me guess you must have a nanny at home. You are one of the moms that have a baby and can go shopping or do what ever while someone else takes care of your child. If you dont want to be bothered with other children then stay at home and shop online.

Answer 9

Let me take a sec to tell you how sorry I am to hear about your experience and I will now tell you the TRUTH!!! As a mother of 4 I can block out NE THING!!! even other ppl even other cars sometimes. It is the only defince I have aginst the voices in my head saying "told you you should have eat them", OK EVERY ONE THAT WAS A JOKE!!! but honestly I do MAKE my kids mind and if it dont have BUGGIES "WE" dont go.(but momma dose). kids cant learn respect unless thay have an example.

Answer 10

There is an asteroid far off in an elliptical orbit that will one day cross paths with our chaotic planet. In time we will have three moons and no humans to witness and compose poems about. If humans continue their present course, a hit from an asteroid will be the ultimate tree falling silently in wasted forests, no ears to hear or eyes to witness. The odds are not in our favor, as 99.99% of all species to inhabit this planet have gone extinct. A very interesting and poignant poem you have written.