my nephew is 6 and cusses, fights, spits, shoves,and kicks my kids and I feel so bad cause his parents try to control his behavior but have a hard time with him. He likes to visit my house cause I have 6 kids and he is an only child and gets lonley. but I CANT STAND HIM as soon as he walks through the door he flips off my kids. I dont want to be rude but I dont want him visiting anymore.what should I tell his mother?(my sis-in-law)
2006-07-16 19:52:28 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
This situation is tough, and is probably best handled with both of you (you and your husband) working together, as he will know his sister better than you. I don't know what the best answer is, but what might work is having him over only when he is closely supervised by you or your husband (even though 6 is old enough to play in the backyard by himself, this doesn't have to be the rule at your house). Explain to both the child and his mother that there are certain rules at your house and if he wants to continue to visit his cousins (and make it clear that you want your kids to know him too) that he has to follow those rules, and they do not allow cussing or fighting.
2006-07-16 19:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by smartsassysabrina 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a hard one. Maybe get him to visit without the parents so you can have a "word" with him on how he is to behave when he is in your house if he wants to visit. You could also explain to her that if your kids were to do this then they would be put in time out for it so you don't think it is fair for them to see it in your house happening and that he gets away with it and that if he is to visit he needs to abide by these rules too or suffer the same consequences your children would. Sorry to say this but I think you are going to end up seeing a lot less of this family if you approach the subject.
You could limit the amount of times he comes to the house. Maybe when they say they are coming you just happen to be going out (Lot's of times you are going out) or plan to meet at a park where you won't have to put up with him as much and if he is getting to you tell them it is time for you to get going. They will probably get the hint soon enough that you aren't happy
2006-07-17 05:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your sister-in-law that until he can control his behavior you cant have him over anymore as you have enough to deal with trying to raise 6 children. Let her know that you dont approve of the cussing, fighting, spitting, and hurting your children. Tell her until he is handled and dealt with, it would be best if they found other kids for him to play with.
2006-07-17 02:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi well youre house will be a busy one and im sure all youre kids behave perfectly and not one of them steps out of line ? thought not i know what its like to have a house full of kids but to say that you cant stand that child ....thats a bit harsh aint it ....tell me is this how you are going to put it .....right get that brat out my house now !! cause how ever you put it its going to cause shock waves right through youre family and just wait til youre mother-in-law gets wind of this one .....no matter how much this child gets up her nose you will have over stepped the mark as thats her grandchild and i've never meet a grandmother yet that will take it lightly when those words come out youre mouth
have you ever thought that this child could be worked up about something it could be medical ........could be bullying you would be suprized how kids react to other kids when they them selves are being bullied ,it could be that he is in fact jealous of youre own kids and the time they have with there mum and dad ,give this kid a chance how would you feel if this was said about one of youre kids it would hurt like hell ,this nephew is going to grow up in a world that no one has made an effort to help and sort out and that is one hell of a shame has anyone ever thought of taking this kid to a musuem and really listened to what this wee boy is seeing .........no that doesnt suprize me .....would be to embarrasing to even try ,now that is a shame you never know that wee boy might have some real fun and all of you might enjoy yourselves get of this kids back and give him a chance oh and if you decide to let people know how you feel ..........well good luck you will need it as when youre motherinlaw and sis in law finds out well ..........give youre nephew a cuddle for once instead of earache ....you never know it might work XX
2006-07-17 03:32:48 · answer #4 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is be straight forward with her. Tell her if her child cannot behave at your house (after all, it's your house, your rules) then he is no longer welcome to visit until he can control his outrageous behavior.
You have every right to be upset. If the child is coming over to YOUR house, he should respect that and respect you and your family. If he can't do that, he shouldn't be allowed over anymore.
2006-07-17 02:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by Guppy Geek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! Your kids come first. Why should you have to put your kids or yourself out for him? He is not your responsiblity. he is his parents responsiblity. Just tell them in a nice way, maybe on the phone, before they come over next. Don't tell them in front of him or your kids.
2006-07-17 07:37:16 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know u need her 2 get her child under control cuz until than he can not visit your house cuz he is terrorizing ur houz.
2006-07-19 11:38:08 · answer #7 · answered by dagirl10149 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your house your rules.... make sure his parents and him know that if they come over he is expected to follow the rules in your home, if he doesn't his parents are more then welcome to come back, and he will then be excluded. Trust me if you are consistent you will see a change in his behavior in your home.
2006-07-19 20:17:42 · answer #8 · answered by Gemini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell your sister in law that he's not welcome in your home until he changes his behavior.
Look out for your children no matter what the cost. Be polite if you can, or rude if you have to be. You owe first and foremost to your children and husband. And yourself of course. :)
2006-07-17 02:57:54 · answer #9 · answered by slagathor238 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not try talking to your brother instead?..
or
you can try talking into the boys face saying that he have to behave himself or else his not allow to come anymore...
(and smile towards you sis-in-law secretly like joking)
2006-07-17 05:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by flurry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋