HAs anyone been in a relationship with a person that does drugs and you don't?

Question

My friend is in a relationship with a guy that does drugs (COKE)
She did not know when they got together.
Is it resonable for her to think that he is gonna stop becasue she asked him to.

Answer 1

nope, he needs professional help, she can try and help him but most likely this is going to be an on going problem . .there is no "quick fix" for him.

Answer 2

I've had enough experience with drug/alcohol addled people to know that this relationship of your friend's is a co-dependent relationship. Any ultimatums a person makes with an addict just leads to more problems. Frankly I would run fast and far from anyone who was using anything in an excessive manner. They have a problem and the abuser will turn on the non-user in a hear beat. It will only destroy your friend's self-esteem and she has a good reason never to trust this guy. You can't trust an addict ever. They will lie, steal and kill to get their substance.

There are many great books about co-dependency and I'd suggest Melody Beattie's books, I've listed two below. Also Al-Anon is for family and friends of alcoholics/substance abusers.

I've had my experience with a crack-head and I had never heard anything good about that drug, but thought that since I had seen junkies recover, perhaps he had recovered. Don't underestimate the power of drugs over an abuser. He conned me out of a LOT of money and always made me feel like crap. They have to be smart and charming to get away with the lies and con's that they do. And I thought I was above anything like that happening but I had a back injury and was in pain and he slipped into my life and overtook it. I wound up having to declare bankruptcy. (Thank God it was available to help me, I'm not proud I did it but I still appreciate that it was there when I needed to get out from under.)

Like I said, tell your friend to run.

I have to add that you're also exhibiting co-dependent behavior by asking this question. You're trying to control a situation. Read the Beattie books, you'll understand.

I wish you and your friend love and luck.

Answer 3

if she is in a relationship with someone who is doing cocaine... here's a news flash the cocaine will win! It is very unreasonable that this person is gonna quit for this girl.. because cocaine is a brain stimulan and causes effect that are sooo over powering that distroys... cocaine is the psychoactive drug and someone using it gets addicted very fast... and if they are smoking it... u can best believe they are manipulating everything for it! I was an addic for 28 years! Drug use does NOT stay moderate if one is using.. Cocaine has a fast addiction process if being smoked especially! Be careful... No relationship is stable with drugs in the center! Tell your friend to go to an CA meeting and see how people are affected by it! Cocaine Annomyious
Peace!

Answer 4

coke, no it's not reasonable. that is a very addicting drug and very difficult to overcome. He has to want to stop and more likely has to be cut off from his supply and drastically change his lifestyle and friends. Depends on how long he's done it and how much. If it's still early then it's possible it'll never become his thing but if it is his thing already he will likely relapse many times in his life even after he quits, if he quits anytime soon.

Answer 5

Actually, my current girlfriend was in a previous relationship like that. Let me make this short. The guy did drugs, my girlfriend didn't. She's now with me, and the guy is alone and heart broken. The guy is 26, I'm 15, my girlfriend's 17. Let me ask you, did the guy ever stop cause she asked him to? no. and now she's with me. Drugs suck and so do the guys who do them.

Answer 6

I've been in such a situation. Advise your friend to get out and away from that person b/c she is headed for a major heartbreak and possibily major trouble.

Answer 7

Of course not! If anything, he will probably get her using it. Tell her to dump him or you won't hang with her anymore. And if she still refuses, tip off her mother. You may be saving her life!

Answer 8

he aint gonna stop, but she should learn to deal wit it, unless this really bothers her, then say make a choice I guess... but that could be hard

Answer 9

i really dont think so he will probly not smoke around her but most ppl wouldnt unless hes like really trulely in luv wit her

Answer 10

pts best she gets out because he has to want to stop for himself, until that happens its useless just keep in mind one thing god sees everything.