My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 1.5 years. We plan to get pregnant next year and our baby will be born when we are 25 and 27 if everything goes right.
We will have our house mortgage paid off next year, and we will have $0 debt. I have a college education and we both have been at our jobs for a couple of years and make a good living.
My mother doesn't want me to have children because she thinks I will have no patience for my children and she thinks I should wait until I am 30 before I get pregnant.
My husband and I rented some movies on pregnancy and babies, and my mother saw the receipt in my car. She frowned and had this unhappy look on her face.
We are happy together and want to start a family, we have had our dog since he was a puppy and he is 2.5 years old and I have tons of patience with him and he is hyper and a pain in the butt!
How do I deal with my mother, she thinks she is entitled to say what she wants about my future kids!
2006-07-16 18:33:05 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You need to make decisions based on you and your husband, not on your mom. You don't need her approval. Do what you feel is right, and she will probably change her tune when she sees that beautiful baby!
Sounds like you are as ready as you'll ever be!
2006-07-16 18:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa N 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Where do young women learn how to be mothers? From our own mothers. I think that if she is so insecure about your parenting abilities, she's concerned about her abilities, or lack thereof, from when you were growing up. You might want to address this with her, because there could be a root cause for her insecurities which are not directly related to you having children. I would inform her that while you take her concerns into consideration, that you are now an adult and she has to let go of control over your life, and that if you feel the decision is right, you're going to stick with that decision.
However, you should NOT, under ANY circumstance allow her to dictate your family decisions. Who has to raise the children? You and your husband. You and your husband make the decision. You two seem to be in the perfect position to have children, and have displayed a level of maturity beyond what most people display in their mid-late twenties. Good luck!
2006-07-17 01:39:02 · answer #2 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the nicest way possible, tell your mother to butt out. It is YOUR life. She is entitled to her opinion. However, she is NOT entitled to push her opinion on you. I'd just sit her down when it isnt being pushed at the moment and say something like, "Mom, I know how you feel about my having a child right now. However, I really feel that I will be as wonderful a mother as you have always been. I had a great role model- you. I know you think that my patience is lacking but I am working on that and will not let that impatience effect the treatment of our baby. We WILL be having a child in the next year or so. We want you to be a part of his/her life. If you have anything else to say about this, say it now and I don't ever want it brought up again. PLease respect our decision."
Let her have her peace and then don't let her bring it up after that. If she tries, just say "Mom, we already discussed this with you and I wont discuss it again. Period."
Good luck!
2006-07-16 18:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by Starry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my kids 1 month before I turned 25 and it was the best. Now at 32 i find i have a lot less patience than I did back then. You are debt free and sound like you have your head screwed on right, don't listen to your mum and do what you like. This is the joy of being an adult. You both sound like you are sensible people. Go for it it is great being a mum in your mid 20's
2006-07-16 22:30:09 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are on the right track and I would say go for it. I have learned that when you try to plan for something it always has a brick wall you run into. If you wait til your 30's to have children it is harder to conceive and then in your 40's you have less energy. I think the 20's are the best years to have kids for your health reasons and really with respect to your mother, its none of her business.Good Luck for a healthy and happy baby.
2006-07-16 18:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by ₦âħí»€G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, a baby is a little more complicated than a puppy. Treat your mother as if she is giving advice. I know it's difficult, my daughter was 16 when she got pregnant so this subject is close to home. You can "tell" your children all you want, but what you show them is what they learn. If you are 18 years old, the choice is yours to make. Talk to your mother with respect and let her know that you expect the same.
2006-07-16 18:43:56 · answer #6 · answered by seeitknowit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am amazed that you have a mortgage you will be paying off so soon.
Take a ( 3 month?) course in parenting, and tell your mother that this decision is between you and your husband.
If your mother thinks you don't have the patience to raise a child, why ever would she think you WOULD have patience when you are 30 ? At best, she is reading what she WISHES she had done into your life. At worst, it is not her business.
2006-07-16 18:39:06 · answer #7 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she's just worried and wants you to have a good lilfe and made sure you've had all of your fun. I know girls who were 13 when they had kids and they just left them at their parents house and went out drinking. That's why i want to make sure i have a car, house and my other half has a sturdy job before i get pregnant. But don't wait too long, because the older you get the harder it will be to chase after kids....Oh and tell your mum to trust and resapect your decisions as you are an adult now =)
2006-07-16 18:39:03 · answer #8 · answered by blak_gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mother to get her some business and live your own life. You are not in her house, she is not taking care of you, and you are married. She has NO right to butt in you and your husband's business. How does your husband feel about this?? Talk to youir mother and tell her that she is lving her life and to let you live yours. You are not a baby anymore. Let her know that. If she doesn't agree then OH WELL She'll be alright!
2006-07-16 18:45:53 · answer #9 · answered by tantalizin1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I know that that's your mother but it's not up to her. You are happily married an you an your Hubbie want to start a family which is great. I think that your mother should be more supportive an respect your decisions on having a child. You are not under her roof which means not under her rules.
2006-07-16 18:39:07 · answer #10 · answered by leihuaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you are an adult and so is your husband so why are you worried about what others will think. If you feel like you are ready then go for it. You are married and seem to have a stable life. Who cares what your mom thinks? She is not the one that is making decisions for you anymore.
2006-07-16 18:41:12 · answer #11 · answered by jj02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋