I have a s-hit list.....?

Question

...and I scare myself sometimes. I'm afraid that someday I'm going to try to get even with anyone that has ever screwed me over. I wish I could forgive & forget...but I find it impossible. Is there a chance I'll just rage out some day and hurt people?

Molly J....I'm 42 years old. I've had people on my s-hit list since I was 13, and still want to get even for things that happened even as far back as then. It's like a life goal....get even before I die. Some of these people had done horrible, horrible things that I can never forget or forgive them for.

Answer 1

wow
you're really bitter...
why does it still matter if those people don't affect your lives anymore?
i know something these people did might have changed your life or your personality, but remember no matter how bad your life gets you can always change it back to good
if u have a problem with someone, just talk to him/her or ignores the person
don't let others run your life, take control and ignore others' opinions
or if they've done something really hurtful, ya by all means get revenge, but just don't commit serious crimes okay?

Answer 2

I cannot tell you if you will snap but I would be concerned -- the fact that you are telling people here on Yahoo may be a pressure relief, but it is also a sign that it's a serious problem. Almost everyone has occasional fantasies of doing mean or hurtful things to people who have wronged them, but it is normally just a passing thought.

If you were traumatized as a child, whether by abuse, abandonment, accident, sometimes parents' divorce, it is very common to carry a rage inside that causes you to act out. Most people I know who went through that ended up having some kind of a personal breakdown and then had to reconstruct their life from scratch, usually in their twenties. If that's already happened you know what I mean; if not you may be overdue.

It's good to have a s-list, but not good to be mad over it. A proper s-list should just be a cold, practical calculation of who you can trust and who you can't. Who you can invite to dinner and who will always stiff you for the check. Who you can allow near your boyfriend/husband and who will try to pull a seduction act. That sort of thing. You can't and shouldn't take your emotions out of it, but you also can't let it bring you down.

At some point you have to learn forgiveness, or at least acceptance. That doesn't mean you have to condone bad behavior, but consider this. First, most of the time people don't take advantage of you unless you let them. Second, when you get mad at someone it does not hurt them, only yourself. By carrying a grudge you are letting them continually victimize with you.

You know the old expression -- don't get mad, get even? That should apply to you. I don't mean you should act out your fantasies, only that you should be strong and realize you're better than them. And don't let any more losers into your life.

Answer 3

Get even how?

If you are afraid of this, I'd suggest talking to somebody about this stress. You might not know how to handle it, and perhaps a therapist could help you cope.

This level of anger is tough to deal w/, and I'm sure it's very frustrating! Cut yourself a break and take some action.

Personally, I'd look books written by Buddhists for us westerners. They have alot to say about this kinda thing. It might get you thinking about changing your whole outloook



And if anything: Nobody can even TOUCH a smart guy. Make taking ppl down into an artform, but do it w/ WORDS. Don't cuss, just be creative. Taking on the role of a smart *** will get ppl frustrated w/ themselves, cause they'll never really know how to defend themseves if they start up w/ you.

Answer 4

relax.
i had a list like that growing in my head from the time when i was 12-16. stop scaring yourself already and do something that i seemed to find very cleansing.
Im assuming your under the age of 18, and thus your still in school. so just remember that people DO change, and although people hurt you in the past, they will change. If everyone killed the person they hated most, no one would be alive.
try forgiving by really understanding that sometimes people make mistakes and yes, some ppl suck, but they can change and they will change.
i even recently dealt w/ a past ex bf and this is what i did after i realized that some day he will change and be better
i wrote him a letter telling him how he hurt me and how wrong he was and how i know it will haunt him for the rest of his life. and then i threw the letter away. He didnt need to read that letter. he already knew it and although we still have not talked since, i know that he knows that he was wrong. you have to have faith in stuff like that. God will save them, and you have to let God do his job.

Answer 5

Sure, but be the silent type it works better....like propping screws up on tires...very affective and hard to prove. Taking pins out of tires with a fork...just let a little air out...wont cost more that 20 bucks to fix and is really fun to watch from a distance. Have fun!!!...:)

Answer 6

There is always a chance, but it is sort of unlikely.


Unless you already torture animals and stuff like that.

But... if you find yourself getting angrier and angrier, and flying off the handle, talk to someone ( a therapist) about it.

it might be a good idea not to keep guns in the house, given that you worry that you might hurt someone.

Answer 7

If you didn't write it down or talk about it I would be more concerned.
The fact that you question your feelings is a good sign that you probably wont snap.

Don't let people tick you off. It is a waiste of your time and energy.
In a sence if they get you mad than they have won.

Answer 8

Get some therapy, it will really help to make you feel better, I promise!

There is always a chance, especially if you are questioning it yourself, so why not prevent that and get some help?

Good luck!

Answer 9

well, first off am I on your list? If so, then I am totally sorry for whatever it is that I did....can you forgive me? If I'm not on the list, that's cool....I say just get 'em all......you'll feel better

Answer 10

go to church& if that dont help try a shrink--- uh oh i'm not on ur list am I?