Why do women have kids when they are not mentally or financially prepared?

Question

Of all the girls I know that did that (which are a lot) it seems like a desperate attempt to get the daddy to stick around. Birth Control is not expensive....so it almost seems like a "mistake" is pretty impossible when there are so many ways to prevent pregnancy.

Answer 1

they dont care! Most young girls get pregnant because they feel like they are missing out on love.( the old if no one loves me I'll have a baby that will always love me) Most grown women dont need kids either the only thing they want is a child support check and welfare maybe a little WIC lol i feel sorry for the kids of these chicks and we wonder why society is falling into a slum. Every time i watch Maury there's some girl on there having 6 men tested to see which one is the baby's daddy. Hell they didnt care when they were f-ucking all these men but all of a sudden when reality sets in they want help. I say we as women should have to fill out a form from a psychologist, have a criminal back ground check, and a credit check just to be able to have kids.

Answer 2

My experience has been very similar to yours. I think there are a lot fewer accidents than we are led to believe. Many women see a child as a way to trap the father. I think others are looking for unconditional love.

Any mother of a teenager can tell you that your kids won't always love you. They are independent beings with individual minds. Not dogs or dolls.

Unfortunately, a lot of young women don't realize that some men won't stick around even if a baby is involved. And if the man smartens up and realizes that they are using the kid as a pawn, they will leave and end up hating them. They get the responsibility of raising a child for the rest of their lives and they usually can't even take care of themselves. The other possibility is the man marries someone else and they get to send their kids off every weekend to the home of a woman they hate.

In any case, not very healthy for the child.

Sometimes women are just immature and dumb.

Answer 3

I am a mother of three children and two step children that all live with me and my husband. I don't care who you are life is different when you don't have children. Once your first child is born everything you thought about life changes. You are never mentally ready for what comes with being a parent. Things that you swore you would never do when you became a parent - You do, or things your child says to you when they are angry - You can't be prepared to how it will make you feel. As for money..unless you are rich you are never financially prepared. Things come up that are unexpected...doctor visits, dance, sport camps, clothes, etc. The only people who are prepared financially are those parents you see giving their children "Sweet 16" parties like on MTV.
I think the question should be why don't girls value themselves enough to stand up and say no protection NO SEX!!!!

Answer 4

My husband and I decided to have children (2) when we knew we weren't financially ready. With our lines of work, we'll never be financially ready. We do well...our children do not go without anything, and we're not on any kind of assistance program. We sacrifice (a two year old Honda Accord instead of a brand new one, Kroger brand milk instead of Mayfield, the $45 Nikes instead of the $110 ones) certain things. We're not strapped by any means, but we're not to the point where we can just forget to balance our check book because we know there's always enough money there. We wanted kids because we love each other and we both love children. If we waited until we were financially ready, we'd die childless.

Answer 5

Birth control doesn't always work. I have 2 daughter conceived on it. My oldest was conceived on the patch and my youngest was conceived on the Nuva ring. Neither of my kids were "mistakes," they were surprises. Their father and I weren't ready but that's why he works a lot and the same reason I'm going back to work next week. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first, 18 when I got pregnant with my second. I've never been on welfare. I had the medical card with both my pregnancies but it only covered what insurance didn't. That was only 20%. Mentally I was prepared because I had been helping my dad take care of my epileptic brother for 2 years. I was with him while my dad was working. I'm going back to college next year to be a registered nurse. I'm even paying my tuition out of my own pocket. Being financially ready for children doesn't make someone a bad parent. I think in some situations it makes the parents work even harder to make a career for themselves.

Just thought I better add something. I moved out when I was 17. I was already living with my fiance when I got pregnant. I had great parents. The whole reason I moved in with my fiance was because of school. My dad was moving out of town and I wanted to finish at the school I was already going to. My fiance lived in that town. My parents don't raise my kids or provide for them either.

Answer 6

Some people don't bother, or find that birth control is ineffective (condoms don't feel great, the pill has side effects and can be forgotten, etc.). Some people are scared to talk about sex, and are afraid to approach their doctor (or don't have a doctor to approach). They may not be open enough with their partner(s) or brave enough to suggest contraceptives. They may feel that, if they want to use contraceptives, their partner(s) will not have sex with them.

Once they are pregnant, they may not be able to get an abortion if it is not legal in their area, or may choose not to have one because they feel they are murdering their child.

Answer 7

I am sorry but i dont think every women out there is trying to keep her man around. i have wanted children and havnt exactly been financially ready but there is no greater gift then being a mommy. i have two children and niether of them have there fathers around nor do i go after them for child support because i want my babies to be happy and healthy whether they have a father or not. I am not interested in the guys reasoning for not being around.

Answer 8

Yup I agree with you. But you can't really blame the women, either - the men need to take some responsibility and make sure they are using protection, especially if they aren't sure if their partner is on birth control (or that they can even trust her to be taking the pill).

Answer 9

IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT, PEOPLE DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE DOWN FALLS OF HAVING SEX. BUT AT THE SAME TIME IF A WOMAN DOESNT WANT TO GET PREGNAT, BIRTH CONTROL IS NOT A BAD OPTION. ALTHOUGH I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY OLDEST ON BIRTH CONTROL, MY MIDDLE SON WAS INBETWEEN BIRTH CONTROL CHANGES AND MY YOUNGES, WAS PLANED.

Answer 10

Becuase if they had a high IQ they would be mentally and financially prepared and if they had a high Iq and were mentally prepared they would not be having kids until they were financially and mentally prepared.

You see its platonic logic at its fineness.