My 21 year old sister is trying to be more like my Mom... The only reason I stayed here with my Dad and her was because she is the only one I truly love in my family, but now she is not being herself anymore and instead is being a Mom to me... I want to tell her, I have hinted things in arguments, but she always thinks its just heat of the moment things. She is going about things the same way my Mom did... Such as blaming me for everything that goes wrong, saying my emotional behaviour is stressful and has even threatened to move out, or send me to live somewhere else. She is being just like my Mom and its making me hate her more and more everyday. I really want to know, should I discuss this with her? That she is being like her? Or just leave it... If I did tell her surely that would cause more family arguments... The last thing I want to do is break up my family again.
2006-07-16 17:13:22 · 8 answers · asked by Amethyst 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Of course you should discuss this with her. Be ready, though. You need to look at your actions as well as hers. Are you doing things that would bother her? Honestly, if you are, you need to owe up to it if you want to smooth things over with her. Then, stop behaving in the manner that bothers her. Sometimes, we have to do things that we don't want to do in order to get along with people. I am not saying that you are at fault, I am just speculating because you are younger than your sister, and she was in your shoes only a couple of years ago, so she knows what you are up to now. Good luck!
2006-07-16 17:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by The Nag 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though you have to feel the pain, it may hurt her more sadly. This could make her have a hard time being attracted to other men. If she doesn't have a boyfriend, she may end up only liking older fatherly like men as time progresses. This has happened more than once. But this may not happen at all. As long as the farther doesn't treat her better than you. A sister should never act like a mom! Hate to put it above in this way.
What I said above is just a remote possiblility. This has happened and their are stories of it but unlikely.
Now, it isn't wrong for an older sister to protect the younger siblings. Like if you were five years old and decided to walk out on the street. This is protection. But it is not a job for a 21 year old sister to be a mom.
No matter what you do, how you act, there is no excuse for this. The dad should set the rules. Even though she's 21, she's another kid in the house. She's like you but just older. So that does not classify her as any way to be a mom.
2006-07-16 17:24:06 · answer #2 · answered by thunderbomb90 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calmly TALK to her, when you two are alone, and the time is right. Be most respectful, and tell her how you feel. You could show her this question, and let her view all the answers given.
I have three kids ages 4months, 8 years, and 15 years. The fifteen year old sometimes acts as if she is the 8 year olds momma. Its because of the age difference, and the fact she had to help me when I was bad off with the Cancer, and could not walk.
Remember, no matter how she acts she will always love you and she is your sister. You both can work things out. Best Wishes.
-barbara
2006-07-16 17:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by barbaradjt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking to a family therapist or a pastor would help you out a lot. It sounds like you are under alot of stress. You need someone that is not family to talk to. And please don't be afraid to open your heart. A therapist will help you be able to talk to your sister and help you to be able to tell her how you are feeling. I hope you find someone soon and I will keep you in my prayers.
2006-07-16 17:21:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no man could ever replace your dad, your mom needs to move on with her life. it's a hard thing to accept but the world just keeps on spinning. the older you get the more you will understand this. my dad died the day before I started hs. my mom waited a few yrs before she dated I hated it but it finally hit me she needs to be happy also. keep your chin up it will get easier. give this guy a chance
2016-03-26 21:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive lived with my sister from the time i was born..until the time she moved out (1 month ago). id always tell her to quit trying to act like my mom (shes 11.5yrs older than me and think that that gives her the rights).
needless to say...d say discuss it.
ps- now that shes moved out..we are closser than ever
good luck and hang in there!!! <3
2006-07-16 17:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by Shell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have an honest conversation with her, with out raising your voice and telling her. Be honest, and also look at yourself and see if there is anything true in what she has to say.
2006-07-16 17:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by steveed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u really need to talk to her she will under stand
2006-07-16 17:20:49 · answer #8 · answered by danlyn2510 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋