Ok Another Boyfriend Question?

Question

OK my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 yrs on and off..Recently we got back together, and he says that Ive been pulling the same ole stuff again.. Meanin I like for him to chk in when he out, he says I need to jus chill out, He claims I lke to tlk on the phone too much, I do but, we dont get to see eachother alot thru the weekend until tuesday...
So i need to kno what I should do, how can I change and be more laid back, i love him deeply and I dont want to lose him again, but we constantly argue over this stupid stuff. Im 21 and he's 25, so we're not little teenagers running around, so y r we arguing over highschool stuff lol...Please help!

Answer 1

The thing about it is, is maybe you are to clingy and don't realize it, now I understand that you want to keep in touch, but everytime you pick up the phone instead of calling your guy, call one of your girls and talk to her and plan a night out because if you give him space you get space. Have some fun, I know you are only for him but just enjoy some quality you time and if that doesn't work catch up with someone you havent talked to in a while and just in order to have a healthy relationship you two need to only think about each other 1/2 the time instead of all the time its better that way and even if you dont get to see him through the weekend just hang with him when you can and maybe the weekend is the good time for you to hang out with your girls or go shopping or quality you time.

Answer 2

honestly it sounds like your not being unreasonable to want him to check in after all not only are you two in a relationship but it is just out of respect. You say that you talk on the phone a lot, does he pay the bill? If your not running up a huge bill, your paying it yourself and your not using it when he is around while ignoring him that talk away. The two of you are very young and unfortunately all the little petty arguing will probably not stop until your both in your mid 30's. Right now even though your legal adults your still learning about life and still trying to figure out who you are, what you are and what you want out of life. Most people don't realize that until their 30's. Okay for now until you hit thirty I can say take out a piece of paper and make two columns one titled the pros of staying together and the other the cons of staying together. If the negative outweighs the positive then move on. Life is too short to be unhappy. One more thing if you do move on it may be best to date someone a little closer to thirty! Be sure when you do your list and be honest with yourself. I noticed that you stated that youv'e been together 3 years on and off, it sounds like you probably haven't found what your really looking for, need and deserve!

Answer 3

Make a decision and stick to it. After all you're not little teenagers. Remember this. Sometimes its better to decide to go and move on to better things even if it hurt inside. Every experience you have is a lesson gained and that produces courage, strength and hope. I wish you peace. Good luck and much wisdom.

Answer 4

If you don't give him that space, he's going to leave you. A clingy girlfriend who doesn't trust you is not something you want to keep around. He's going to think of you like that if you call him too much and make him check in... etc. Just relax!

Answer 5

Dont change. Be yourself. If he cant accept you for you, then he is NOT worth it. If you try to change for someone like I did, You will be more hurt in the end, when it still dont please'em

He should be glad to have a girl like you, who actually cares about him. But just dont over do it

Answer 6

because us females need to stop assuming things i mean when your not on the phone your proabably questiong yourself on whats he doing whos he with you need to leave that alone and when you assume you start to accuse which gets them really pissed off. so you just need to do you and relax because what happens happens let everything flow the way its supposed to relax if you love each other and thats the only thing you fight about then stop assuming and acusing and then you wont fight . GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

You're not his mom, you're his girlfriend. When you "make" him check in, he doesn't think of his girlfriend, he thinks of his mom. Since that's obviously an unsexy thought, do you really want it associated with you? You need to just stop. Cold turkey. You're arguing over high school stuff b/c you're not approaching the relationship with the trust and maturity that any good relationship needs. You need to ask yourself why you want him to check in with you when he's out. Is it because you miss him, or because you're afraid he's cheating? Sadly, if he's cheating, having him call you while he's out isn't going to make him stop. If he's not cheating, having to call when he's out instantly takes him to thoughts of mom/his controlling girlfriend and he's going to want to move on to greener, non-mom-like pastures. If you need to talk to him, ask him to call you to say goodnight and share his day with you. It doesn't interfere with his night out and it let's you connect with your boyfriend.

Answer 8

Yeah... this sounds familiar. You need to give him his space right now - in time this will generally change toward what you feel is ideal. It just takes time, sometimes a lot of time... be patient.

Answer 9

OK i think you would want to let this one go i mean the guy i know it is hard saying no to him and breakin up with him but if you don't feel comfortable you need to move on if you so feel comfortable jump on it.

Answer 10

relax.. give him some time.. all u need to do is just go with his flow and dont even try to meet him.. i know its hard but u have to do this to get him back.. after sometime, he will be puzzled and he might get scared that u're not so crazy over him as before.. then he will come back to you..