when it comes to the wedding? I hear women constantly saying that it's their day so they wouldn't give him any say so. But how much is too much say so? Like if the man saw something that his family may not like to see in the wedding is it okay for him to interject? What if he had opinions on things that could help the ceremony to go more smoothly? And who should pay? I guess what I'm getting at is what would you let your "groom-to-be" decide upon and what would you tell him "go somewhere and sit down" on? Just curious to see what your thoughts are....
2006-07-16 16:26:10 · 6 answers · asked by let_it_be_known1981 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
say so? I know the 'tradition' makes it the bride's day and that her Daddy pays for everything and everything revolves around her.. blah blah blah.. but the truth of it is, the groom SHOULD have every bit as much input as the bride.. after all, she isn't marrying herself!! If Daddy wants to pay for the wedding, ok.. fine.. but most times these days, it doesn't work out that way.. if that is the case, then the couple should split the cost.. the wedding is a two person affair.. the payment should be as well.. Maybe if the bride's had to foot more of the bills, they woudln't be spending an obscene amount of money on a dress they will stuff away somewhere.
2006-07-16 17:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by Nancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when it comes to wedding preparations the groom has no real say, either because he is ok by his future wife arranging everything or because she wants things to be done her way. Personally I would love it if my future husband wanted to be a part of the preparations, of chossing all the necessary stuff. It's really nice to have things done the way both want it... to me it makes the day all more special, since it is about the union of two people so it should reflect the characters of both. In the situation where the groom is not really interested in the small details of the wedding, then I would still try and involve him, at least in asking him his opinion on final decisions, or at least showing him what has been arranged. I really beleive though that men would like to be more involved if they were "allowed"... so in no way would I deprive the man I would marry in having a say!
Now when it comes to the financial aspect things get more tricky. Traditionally the family of the bride has to pay, but tradition is not a very strong value nowadays. The financial arrangements depend on what kind of wedding is desired, how much money the families can afford etc... so I guess it's something that is settled accordingly. If it were my wedding however I would like for my family to pay, and depending on how much they could afford I would have such a wedding.
The bottom line is that this day is about two people that love each other and want to spend their lives together... so whether the wedding is flashy, expensive, or extravagant is of no importance, and money shouldn't be an issue.
2006-07-17 06:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the beginning of your marriage. If you can't cooperate on this day, how is the rest of it going to be? We've all seen the previews of Bridezilla, most of us have even known a Bridezilla, but this is the day that you start a union.
Granted, you must know that the couple is a picture, the groom is the frame and the bride is the art. She is the one that everyone is coming to see. But if she can't give and recieve, and let her husband-to-be have some say, you've got to step back and reconsider.
Payment is now pretty much and 50/50 thing. Traditionally it was the bride's family. But that is based on the days the a girl was a cumbersome piece of property to be sold off, good for making babies. A lot of couples are now footing the bills themselves. These days our parents have enough bills of their own.
My husband-to-be is very helpful, and very supportive. He's paying off some crazy student loans, so I'm footing most of the bills, but he's giving advice, support, and helping me do all of the stupid running around that makes you want to run off to Vegas.
On the bride's side, though, give her patience. This is stressful. Most brides want the perfect wedding, and less and less of us are finding that perfect support you hear so much about. And with a cheap wedding ringing in at 10k in a lot of places, its enough to make someone hide a body in the throwing rice. Capiche? ;) Remember, you're supposed to be happy together.
2006-07-16 23:42:53 · answer #3 · answered by Daijobu K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having these kinds of problems pre-marriage, I would suggest that you break it off. A wedding is supposed to be what the BRIDE AND GROOM wants, not what the family members wants. Pay for it yourselves and do what is right for you,or don't do it at all.
2006-07-16 23:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is the bride and grooms day. I feel that if you are going to be together then you should do every thing together. deciding on things as husband and wife should start with the wedding plans. Geting married means togetherness.
2006-07-16 23:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband just told me to do whatever i want.. when i wanted my opinion, he gave it honestly and i took it into consideration... i usually followed it ! and it worked out ok =)
2006-07-16 23:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by mz.Tiza 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋