I been with this guy for three years and at times he can be very annoying and inconsiderate. He's had a hard childhood and it's like he's carried out that anger as he's grown and it's builded a very very high building that can collaspe any day now. I love this man to death and I feel that he needs me but he can get very disrespectful. I don't want to leave him and I think that he will fight to see that we make it to the end but I'm so stressed out.
2006-07-16 16:10:20 · 19 answers · asked by babyjen513 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No man or woman should cause a person to be constantly stressed out. He has anger he has not dealt with and is venting it on you....his emotional punching bag. You are kidding yourself if you believe he needs you as in a loving man/woman relationship...he only needs someone to "punish" and you are conveniently there for him. You deserve to be treated better than this. Why do you love someone who cannot love you in return? You cannot help him...he has to help himself, but I hope you find help for yourself to understand why you remain in this situation.
2006-07-16 16:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very typical type of "Big Man" in chinese saying.
Such guys will only think for oneself before he have a little thoughs for his partner or others. We cant say that this is wrong, but it's quite sad to have one such lover.
Like what you have said, the cause of the hard childhood mould up him as one of such person now.
If you will to love him and wish to be with him forever, try to talk to him on this issue. (no matter how harsh a man is, when a nice and gentle lover needs his attention or hearing hear, he will not turn you down). Let him understand how you feel and onething that you need to do, show him that you also understand how he's feelings are like (when things go wrong or why he get annoyed at times, etc)
Love someone is not to fight or force another one to love you.
If oneday, parting is the outcome, we have to accept it with an open-mind, do not think that this is end of world. Tomorrow will be better.
All the best to you. :P
2006-07-16 23:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by javewu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
annoying? inconsiderate, possesive! wow where did you find this catch? during a drinking binge at a weekend camping trip with your buddies? in the bathroom of the pub which david letterman listed as one of the top 10 dirtiest joints in North America? I'm so jealous of your stressed-outness and such, you guys must have such an amazing relationship. i'm sure when you look at him, it's with eyes full of awe and wonder. lucky girl.
well, you know us woman have the power to change him; and you have more power to change and help him than any other woman has tried, because, you know... you're different, right? hang in there for another 40 years and see if it worked.
2006-07-16 23:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by jami p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't work out his issues for him. He has to sort them out. If he is already disrespectful it will get worst. He probably needs professional help. Don't blame yourself at all for anything. It's all him. I think you are stressed out over being alone again but I'm sure there is a man out there for you. Take time and think about it where you stand. Is this a good relationship for you? Let him chase after you. You are probably too available for him and he knows that you are there no matter what he does or says.Try to switch gears and go out with your friends. You may realize that you like being single after all.
2006-07-16 23:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by Donna M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to sugest counselling to him? Explain to him how you feel and let him know that you are left with no choice but to leave if the behaviour continues? What he is doing can be classed as emotional abuse I understand that you love this man and you are willing to work this out but he has to want to help himself first if you don;t make him take a good look at himself then he can't help himself.
I went through 2 years of counselling to deal with my childhood issues they were making me very emotional, it helps see how you go if you dont suggest counselling for him alone make it for the both of you it helps if they feel like that they are not being targeted.
2006-07-16 23:15:25 · answer #5 · answered by ozi_nut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy was Brad Pitt and he is controlling & possesive you should still leave him...Don't let his good looks & charm keep you from leaving...controlling & possesive is bad enough..But the man is disrespectful....And you continue to stay in the relationship just because you feel he needs you...What about your needs? Your already stressed out...
2006-07-16 23:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking as someone who grew up with a man like this for a father, don't you dare get yourself into that situation. if you really love him and don't want to leave him...be his friend, for years if you have to, until he gets help and proves that he can treat you in a way in which you deserve. he has to be stable on his own before he is fit for you, none of this "you complete me" crap, he and you both have to be complete if any kind of relationship will work. don't you sign up for a life of hurt, and if you do, don't have kids. i am sorry to be harsh, but you shouldn't have the right to do that to your future children. good luck and be strong, having him as a friend for a long time would be better than not having him at all, and if he rejects you for it, he doesn't want what is best for you and that isn't love.
2006-07-16 23:19:40 · answer #7 · answered by cheesey :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he's worth it. If he's nice and good to you, when he's not being a slave driver, and wasn't possesive and controlling until the two of you began your relationship, then he has reasons for being the way he is, and deserves to have you to himself, forever and you should accept him! Behave, too. Hey, i f you don't want to leave him, then quit thinking about doing so, and never leave him! Not for any reason nor circumstance.
2006-07-16 23:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are in a relationship, it is supposed to nice and something you enjoy. You enjoy being in each other company. I'm with the rest of the people whom have answered. I would get out before I was hurt anymore. You aren't supposed to fight like you are saying that you do. Get out before it hurts you more. Good luck.
2006-07-17 00:24:31 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never settle! If it's bothering you, then you need to work out the issues. He may be worth it to you, but the way he's treating you would suggest that you're not worth it to him. Might be a good idea to try counseling so you'll move forward.
2006-07-16 23:15:29 · answer #10 · answered by jax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋