My boyfriend asked me to have sex with him. I'm sixteen. What do you think I should do?

Question

I don't want to get pregnant...and I'm pretty sure I won't. But how much does it hurt the first time? I'm scared.

Answer 1

You are still young yet, Charlotte. Don't let your boyfriend pressure you into making a mistake that you may regret for the rest of your life. Follow your instincts, if it's not right for you, don't do it. I know, I have 3 teenage daughters and I know what's on the male teens mind. I worry about my young ladies every day, not because of how I raised them but because I know how manipulative the human male can be. Wait until YOU are ready, you still have years ahead of you and there are plenty of decent young men out there who will wait.

Answer 2

At 16 you really don't need to become sexually active yet. Any boy that's worth having and is more interested in YOU and how you think and what you feel is more interested in what's between your ears than he is in what's between your legs.

Chances are at this stage of the game if you give up your virginity to this guy he's just gonna dump you in a month or two then run off and brag to all his friends about how he popped your cherry.

Your virginity is a gift that you don't get to give to someone special over and over and at 16....trust me when I say this boy isn't special enough to deserve it and it's certainly not worth you risking your entire future over.

The problem is with you thinking you are "pretty sure" you won't get pregnant....go check out your trailer park or ghetto and see how many of the women living in there were "pretty sure" they wouldn't get pregnant either.

Another thing that you should have learned in sex ed is that the younger you are when you start to have sexual intercourse the higher risk you put yourself at for STD's. Some of those STD's have no symptoms and a lot of women don't even know that they have had an STD until they get married and go to start a family and find out that they can't because their fallopian tubes have been so scared from undetected STD's they can't get pregnant. Do you really want to risk having children in the future so that some kid can lay on top of you and grunt a few times?
You should wait until you are in a long-term COMMITTED relationship (if you have an engagement ring then they are fairly committed), don't be just another notch in some dumb high school jock's belt, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!

Answer 3

I was pretty sure I wouldn't get pregnant with two of my pregnancies, considering I was on birth control as well. Keep in mind that "pulling out" does not work either because a man "pre-ejaculates" before he has an orgasm which has a consentrated amount of sperm in it. Sperm can live in a womens vagina for up to 5 days. So NEVER say "I'm sure I wont get pregnant" cause I said they too and I got pregnant 4 times. Sex for the first time is very painfull. You need to keep in mind also, what if he has something, as in an STD. People with aids look just like you, the guy next door, and the lady at the grocery store. Do not have sex with a man just because HE wants you too. Believe me, having sex with them, does not keep them. If he don't want to wait until you are ready, then he just wants you for the sex anyway. You are to young to start having sex, but if your going to do it, then us telling you your to young won't help. So that's why i have added all this other stuff in. If you are going to do it, just make sure you do it because YOU want to, not because HE wants you to. It is your life, and your body, and you are the one who will have to live with the decisions you make for the rest of your life. My mother always told me "don't do anything you can't go to bed feeling good about." So think carefully about your decision, and if you do make sure you get on some pills, and use a condom EVERY TIME! Good luck.

Answer 4

How long have you been seeing him? Is he a virgin too?

What's his 'reputation'? Nothing worse than having a momentous event spread around and gossiped about, or have him break up with you the next day, or the day you find out you're pregnant.

If you're thinking of having sex with him, I'd:

- ask him to go for an HIV test,
- ask him if he'd be comfortable wearing a condom
- go on birth control (you need to be on it for at least a month before it's effective).

Sex has a lot of real time, very serious and far from romantic consequences. So use your head and not just your heart or hormones when it comes to making this decision. And DON'T let ANYONE pressure you into it! If you got a disease or pregnant, or if he left you afterwards, you'd be scarred for longer than it took to consummate the act. Think about the consequences BEFORE you do it and be sure you a) protect yourself from them as best you can, and b) accept the risk of them before undertaking the act.

It's best to wait until you're sure than rush in and regret it. This is a one time event that you can NEVER take back!

Best to you.

Answer 5

I personally think that you are too young to be engaged in sex however, if you feel that you are ready I think that you should talk with your parent(s) and perhaps they could get you some B/C and talk to you about practicing safe sex. If you choose not to you take the chance of getting pregnant and/or contracting a STD. Never say that you can't get pregnant because it can happen, YES!!! On the first time. Make a wise decision! And yes it can hurt it just depends!!!

Answer 6

Don't let the physical pain be all you are concerned about. Be concerned about your emotions, your health, your future, your reputation, your "giving away" what you can never get back. Sex is complicated, no matter what music and movies and tv say to the contrary. In the right context, it is a beautiful gift between two people. Think of what intimate details a sexual partner will know about you after the fact...do you want to share on that level with a boyfriend at age 16?

Answer 7

If you don't wanna do it, don't do it. If he respects your decision, then that's great. But if not, & if he's persistent on having sex, then maybe you should tell him that there are lots of other girls who are willing to have sex w/ him. Let him know that you're not a play toy & that you don't wanna feel like one. Some guys (including my former ex) wanted to have sex w/ me. He even admitted to me that if I ended up not having sex w/ him that he prob woulda just left !!! (loser !) Tell him bout teen pregnancy & bout how common it is. Ask him what he'd do if he DID get you prego. Seriously, what would YOU do if you got prego ? Keep the baby ? ... adoption ??? No girl should ever be forced to have sex. Keep your pants on, even if it means losing the guy. Trust me, if you don't wanna lose your virginity cuz you're not ready yet, then you'll only regret it later. There are Soooo many peeps who have lost their virginity who wish they hadn't lost it when they did. Tell him that you'd like to finish skewl. If you're using birth control (the pill or the injection, depo-provera) then that's good. I'm on depo provera but I don't trust it 100%. I make sure that a condom is used each & every time. I even did that when I was w/ my former bf. Good luck !!!

Answer 8

Well being 16 you probably shouldn't have sex, just because you're so young and there is always a possibility of becoming pregnant. If there's no stopping you make sure he doesn't have any diseases and wear a condom...(Sometimes the first time can hurt...it goes away..If you're scared, then you're not ready.)

Answer 9

Tell him no and tell him you aren't going to and make him wait a while. This is to help make sure that he is not just trying to use you for sex. He may break up with you if he thinks you won't have sex with him and you should let him go and consider it a lesson learned the easy way. Don't let yourself be used. Also if he nags you a lot for sex after you've said no dump him because he doesn't respect you. If he can wait like 6 months then you can reconsider but don't let him know you are thinking about it. When YOU decide YOU want to have sex YOU tell him. Don't let him tell you. Its your body and your decision. Don't let anybody pressure you into anything. You make decisions for yourself.

Make a decision you can feel comfortable with about pregnancy before you have sex. For example you can decide if you get pregnant you can give the baby up for adoption. Use birth control AND condoms but never let him know you're on bc. He may get lazy and not want to use the condom. Boys are very irresponsible and self-centered, never trust them with your body. Tell him if he wants sex with you he ALWAYS has to have a condom.

As for does it hurt, yes it does. It isn't always bloody but it is ALWAYS painful. The pain isn't terrible but its enough to make the hole thing an unpleasant experience. If his penis is really small it won't hurt much at all. It hurts a lot worse with some stupid teenage boy thats acting like he's in a rush to get to the finish line. This is because he doesn't give you time to get into it and properly lubricated and if you're nervous it makes it worse. Lubrication makes a BIG difference.

Make out with him a lot before you go all the way and make him learn to give you pleasure without sex or he won't know what the hell he's doing and he'll ruin everytthing. Also you will find out if he has enough patience and generosity to be any good in bed. Your pleasure is the important thing here. His is a sure thing and he knows it so you are the pace setter. You won't enjoy sex, trust me. You may enjoy oral sex but not regular sex. So you have to set this up so you can get SOMETHING good out of it. Also you should masterbate and make sure you know how you like to be touched and how to give yourself an orgasm. If you can't, nobody can so why put yourself through all that stress and pain for nothing?

Also I don't mean to sound like sex is all about sex. Most often it is but of course you should be in love and all this is just to make sure he might possibly love you back. I don't want you to regret your first time the way so many girls do, feeling used and abused and getting NOTHING for it, then to add insult to injury being dumped and talked about after.

Answer 10

The fact that your asking this question alone should have given you a clue of what you should do already. You're asking this because deep down your not even sure you want to have sex. Chances are, you are not ready for it. Trust me, underage sex is the quickest way you can spiral your life out of control. In twenty years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibilities that have laid before you and how amazing you are. But you chose to throw it away just for a few brief moments of ecstacy. If you think sex is something sacred, save yourself for it then. if you think otherwise, then go for it. Who is anyone to tell you how to lead your life. We can only show you the door, you're the one whose going to have to decide whether to walk through it...

Answer 11

If your boyfriend really cares about you, then he will respect your decision if you decide to wait. My first serious girlfriend and I waited over 2 years before we went down that road. There is more to a relationship than that. Don't let him pressure you into thinking you're a bad person if that is the choice you make. One of biggest turn-on's is for a girl not to have been with a bunch of guys. No rush.