My daughter is 19 and she is dating a 25 year old guy is this ok? Should I be worried?

Question

My daughter is 19 and she is dating a 25 year old guy is this ok? Should I be worried? The guy has a lot of tattoos lives with his brother yet he works a 8-5 job as an a assembly worker. He's older than my daughter quite a bit and I really worry this could ruin her chances to build her own foundations in life but she thinks she knows everything... should I be worried and try to steer my daughter away and show her why I think this relationship isnt appropriate?

Answer 1

The more you try to push her away, the more determined she will be to hang on to him. Hey, invite him to dinner at your home and get to know the guy better. Maybe he's ok; sounds like he works hard. I wouldn't say a negative word about him to her. you can't win that game. She's just fishing for a reaction. He's employed with a regular job so he must be doing something right.
Have a nice evening with the two of them...you'll learn alot.

Answer 2

I don't think you should worry.. she's 19.. an adult! Even if this guy isn't right for her.. she will find that out on her own... that's part of growing up. Anyways, 19 and 25... the age difference isn't huge, and only because he has tattoos, lives with his brother, works as an assembly worker.. doesn't mean he is not a good guy. He probably treats your daughter better than any other guy has... Let her be.

Answer 3

I think that that age gap is fine because she's 19 and he's over the drunken dork age. I'm older than both of them but I think by 25, the guy is probably a little more mature than someone closer to her age and since she's almost old enough to drink and certainly old enough to rebel, she's maybe better off with him than someone who's just able to drink.

Also, if you tell her she can't, she will rebel. If you accept him overly and find out he's a nice person, then you'll be happy for her, I bet.

The important thing to remember is that now that she's legally a woman, it's ok to be her friend and that's a way to have a really great relationship with her.

or... I could be wrong. :)

Answer 4

when i was 19 i went out on a few dates with a 28 year old and my parents were like: well, do you think he wants to settle down soon? do you think you two have enough in common? you should be wary of a guy that age dating you...

and i thought about it a bit and realized i really didn't like him that much anyway. when i was 19 i thought i knew everything too, and sometimes i think i still do (i'm 23). i went on dates with several people over the age of 25 when i was 19, and i survived through it all. also, because no one tried to make me do something i didn't want to.. i found it easier to make my own decisions and not decisions based on the fact that i wanted to prove somebody wrong. my foundations are being built stronger by the year, and i am so happy at where i am right now (i'm still single, too, and know i want a healthy man). don't worry too much about her. at least she's legally an adult, right?
good luck and god bless.

Answer 5

U can never tell if any guy is the right guy.There's not really such a huge difference in age. I mean, they're both adults. Maybe he's more experienced than she is. She can very well date an 18 year old with just as much experience. Just try to encourage her not to get too serious, too fast. She's still young and will have lots of dating opportunities. Remember, if u push the issue too far, u may push her further into his arms.

Answer 6

yes, shes just going to steer down the wrong path, im 19 and I know at age 19 your moldeing your life into what it will become the next 50 years, and when I was in highschool hanging out with guys that had tattoos and did drugs and skiped class, it led me to skip class and just be a terrible person to my family, and once I got away from them I worked harder in school to go to college, and now I'm happy I did so and my life couldnt be any better. 25 dating 19 is like me dating a 13 year old (Im a soph in college and shed be a 7th or 8th grader....) I mean yah 6 years difernce when your 40 and the other person is 34 or so isnt so bad, but you have your life in order and know what you want, and HE doesnt cause hes 25 and Im sure he sucks at life casue he cant go to a bar to pick up girls, so there must be something wrong with him...id lock your daughter up, but thats just me and I dont have kids, but If I was in her shoes and my parents told me that i'd be pissed and rebel but later I'd thank them...but if you want to do it in a good way, take her on vacation on a cruise and have her meet a boy her age, or just wait till she gets to college and meets a guy, even if hes 21, he still is in college and is heading the right way

Answer 7

I don't believe the age difference is all that much actually. When i was 19, (21 now) that was when I started meeting a ton of people that ranged from 20 - 27. I thought it was a good age range of people for me to hang out with, still do.

I think he could help teach her some things in life. I have an older boyfriend whom i met when i was 17.. he was 24. He was full of advice and treated me with respect (also with some tattoos and not such a great job and had roommates). So long as he is respectful and if your daughter knows what it means to be respected, then everything will be ok. That's your job, making sure she has the respect thing down pat.

As for his job, if he is a hard-worker, then he is a good influence. Hey, he's not living with 4 other guys partyin' up all night, he's living with one other family member and holding a job. Why have an apartment for himself? It's an advantage when startin out in life to have a roommate. Share expenses and such.

As for her foundations in life, I mentioned he could teach her some things about life. But also, he may just be at the same level as her in life. That's why people say age is just a number, we all progress at different rates. Maybe that is why they get along right now, because they are at the same level in life. Usually people cannot stay with people if they cannot relate to them. It doesn't mean he's a dumb person, we just all progress at different rates.

Anyways, try to get to know him. Be a part of your daughter's life, she's an adult now and can make decisions for herself, but you can still offer good advice and influence her still. I think that's the route my mom took with me after she went all crazy and tried to separate us ;) and it worked great.. she Loves him and how he treats me.

Answer 8

Other than possible bias because of tattoos I am still uncertain what your issues are!? Yes there is six years difference however they are both adults! My spouse and are six years apart and have a wonderful; marriage and five children. What isn't appropriate about this? He lives with is brother so? Lots of people have room mates does your daughter live at home? What foundation is she going to miss by dating 25 year old? Your complaining he works? Nothing you have said would worry me other than your bias over his age and tattoos!

Answer 9

Age wise i don't think anything is wrong with that. I am 22 and my husband will be 30 this year and he has tattoos. We started dating when i was 19. He is the most wonderful man. He makes me so happy and i know we will spend the rest of our lives together. Sometimes it works out great because he has a stable job already and most guys your daughters age don't. You should spend some time with him and see how he treats your daughter before judging him. He may turn out to truely lover her and they may get married. You never know!!

Answer 10

Ok....first of all, the age difference.....6 years isn't that much of a difference...IF your daughter is mature......think about it from an outsider's point-of-view, NOT a parental point-of-view.....does she have a job? Does she handle herself well? Is she respectful? Can she hold an adult conversation? She's 19....I'm sure she's grown enough to handle a boyfriend.....
Ok, his job....8 to 5 job....do you know how many people would kill for those hours? It means he'll have time in the evening to spend with your daughter.....I think that's great!! They will have the time they need to get to know each other.....an assembly worker, well, does he at least draw a decent paycheck? Or does he barely make minimum? That makes a difference in the FUTURE (though now its irrelevant)........
The tattoos.....don't mean a thing.....I know ALOT of respectful, wonderful men who happen to have tattoos....I don't know what u call alot, but tattoos don't make a person bad......
Just let your daughter make her own decisions....even if u see them as mistakes.......she'll learn from them, TRUST ME ON THIS!!! I've made mistakes in my life.....and I don't regret them one bit....they've gotten me to where I am today.....and where I am now is a good place.......