My boyfriend and I were simply sleeping on top of the covers (all of them) of his bed and his parents got pretty upset. I understand why they did - mine would be upset too - however, it is common knowledge among both our families that I'm a virgin and intend to stay that way until marriage and he's a responsible guy that wouldn't pressure me into doing anything. So, aside from the parental fear of sex, what's wrong with it? I'm by no means bashing parenting; I just want to get some perspective so I can feel out situations better next time.
2006-07-16 15:13:42 · 15 answers · asked by onsilverwings 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
To clarify, I'm 18 and he's 19.
2006-07-16 15:14:16 · update #1
It's all about making that one mistake. Giving in to passion. Tempting fate. The situation is ripe for that one weak moment when, no matter how noble you are your base nature takes over and you do something you had no intention of doing.
My niece asked the same question and I gave the same answer. She sneered at my reasoning and now has two children from two different (noble) men who succumbed to temptation and walked away.
Thank your parents for loving you enough that they are concerned for your future life and the happiness that can be yours by keeping your virginity until marriage by not tempting fate.
People who play with fire eventually get burnt.
2006-07-16 15:24:26 · answer #1 · answered by BP 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... my parents were pretty uptight at first when my boyfriend and I started laying in my bed together so I left my door open so they were a little more at ease and then after a while they got used to it (I was 17 and he was 19 when we started dating). I don't get what the big deal is either... it's just sleeping ON TOP of covers. I don't know... and you're both old enough to be responsible and make your own choices. I don't know about parents sometimes... I guess I will learn when I have children of my own... I hope everything works out for you!
2006-07-16 15:19:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the parent.
My boyfriends parents are aware that we are having sex and sleep in the same bed (under the covers) when we spend the day/night together if we're tired.
My dad isnt really aware of the sex situation, but he doesn't care if we sleep in the same bed.
And your both adults... your parents can't really get flipped out and make you feel bad because you are no longer a child.
Its probably just about the temptation of it all. People believe that holding hands leads to kissing, and kissing leads to touching, and touching leads to sex.
Its unfair, but theres nothing you can do.
2006-07-16 15:27:17 · answer #3 · answered by Patient Paws 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's more of the possibility of something happening while in the right environment. While they probably don't believe that you will have sex, it's the temptation of being in a place where it's normally done that brings them to worry.
While not as extreme, it might be along the same lines of a drug user staying away from areas where they usually do or can easily find drugs. They feel that keeping you out of the same bed pretty much removes the temptation and possibility of you two having sex.
As lame as it might sound, they probably do trust you but don't trust him. It's amazing how fast things can progress even when you intend not to.
2006-07-16 15:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Michael S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The parents may just be afraid that something "may" happen. Maybe they feel that you shouldnt have been in the bedroom. There are many reasons but if you arent doing anything then there shouldnt be a problem. Personally you both are grown and should be able to make your own decisions on how you sleep as long as you arent having sex.
2006-07-16 15:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by N M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, people do not have sex until they are married. They're just worried about you, and worried you might do something you'll regret. Many parents don't even want two of the opposite sex in the same room with the door closed. It is just a moral issue. And, even if you are 18, if you live with your parents and they don't like something you've still got to obey.
2006-07-16 15:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by corbeyelise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that is wrong with it is the parental fear of sex. They were teens once too, and they know that sometimes, no matter what you say, you are going to do what you want. You can sit there until you are blue in the face saying that you won't, but you can't guarantee that.
2006-07-16 15:18:07 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is a weird one! Perhaps your parents or his parents think your relationship will get more serious which is why they dont want you doing that, also it could just be the fact a guy and girl are laying on a bed together! Maybe you should ask your parents why they are against it, and get your boyfriend to ask his why they are against it. Your not been disrespectful or anything, you just want to know why your not aloud!
2006-07-16 15:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no explanation aside from the sexual one. They are worried that you are getting too comfortable, and they know one thing leads to another. But while you are not tiny kids, I also I understand they are probably supporting you in school, etc., so you must be more respectful.
2006-07-16 15:23:12 · answer #9 · answered by chante 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong here is that neither one of you have any respect for his parents. I am guessing that since this was a surprise to them, you did not ask? Of course not, because they would have said no and you both know it. It is called respect. Have some for yourselves and them.
2006-07-16 15:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋