he's also in love with a girl in his past who moved on a long time ago. he claims he loves me also but i think i should get out of this relationship. now i don't know how. i don't want him to hurt himself. i still love him
2006-07-16 14:38:28 · 37 answers · asked by platos_mistress 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HAVE HIS PARENTS CHECK HIM INTO THE ER IMMEDIATELY - OR CALL 911
2006-07-16 14:41:32 · answer #1 · answered by RAllen1st 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he should never lay something like that on you. It sounds like he is just looking for attention. You have to find a way to get out of this relationship. This may sound harsh, but I think the best thing to do is just have a clean break. Just end things with this guy, and don't look back. If he truly loved you, he would never give you an ultimatum like if you break up he will kill himself. That is nothing to base a relationship on. If you choose to stay with him just because you are afraid he will hurt himself, who's to say sometime down the line he might just use this suicide thing to get his way with other issues that arise.
It is admirable that you may still have feelings for this guy even though he is holding his own death over your head. But you have to realize it is not a healthy relationship.
If you are still concerned for his well being, perhaps you can talk to his parents, or friends to see what they think. It probably would not be a bad idea for him to get into some type of therapy to see that what he is doing to you is wrong.
Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck. When it comes right down to it, you will have to follow your heart to do what is best for you. Good luck.
2006-07-16 14:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by jam961 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs counseling for sure.
Unfortunately, the best thing you can do is take the tough approach. Don't let his threats control you, or that is just as unhealthy for your relationship as his problem.
The next time he threatens, you have to go through with it and leave him. Tell him you will still talk to him on the phone, and be a supportive friend, but you won't give in to emotional blackmail.
He probably won't follow through with the threat, but if he should, like most people in that situation, they will fail an attempt, because they don't really want it to hapen, they want attention and help. This will prompt him to get professional help.
Tell him that you love him, and that if he wants a chance at getting back together later, that he has to go through a year of counseling or therapy for his problems before you will consider it.
2006-07-30 08:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by Atom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same BS three times. Once he slit his wrists over an ex girlfriend before me and then he did it again twice with me except this time he faked taking sleeping pills and the other time he just claimed he was going to do it and called a whole lot of people that in turn called me and called me a ***** because I told him to go right ahead and do it. Well, that was two years ago and I see his *** is still breathing, so obviously he wasn't going to do it.
Men like this are manipulative and they are cowards. Leave his *** and as a matter of fact, I bet you could hand him some poison, or a gun, or a knife and I bet his *** wouldn't kill himself because he is weak and he STILL wouldn't kill himself even if you handed the tools to him. He isn't gonna kill himself and it's blackmail. LEAVE HIM!!!!!
2006-07-16 15:33:45 · answer #4 · answered by lisamadd1979 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say get the hell out of there usually the suicide thing is a guilt trip to make u stay. If u are really worried about him and he keeps up the threats then contact the police and let them know of what is going on with him and the suicide threats but otherwise i think that it is safer for you to get out now while u still can.
2006-07-16 14:42:38 · answer #5 · answered by psycholilblondegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with women on this site tonight.....loving men who treat them badly. Is this an epidemic? When someone threatens to kill themselves if you leave them you are an emotional hostage. You are not responsible for him or his life. If he's so crazy that he would kill himself because somebody left him.......too bad. You need to get some counseling because you're going to keep finding guys like this and you're never going to be happy.
2006-07-16 14:46:29 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, run, run, run, this type of person is clearly a mnipulative selfish loser, if he kill himself this world would be a better place, get involved with a person who is capable of dealing with rejection, that means he loves himself a lot and he has love to spare.
2006-07-16 14:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by elcabula2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tony T gave you the right answer.
Threatening suicide is a form of manipulation or emotional blackmail.
Even if he did commit suicide there is something wrong that has nothing to do with your relationship. He was unstable to begin with...
End it and move on.
2006-07-16 14:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousins long time bf killed himself shortly after she dumped him. It can happen. But for him to threaten it, he does need help. I would say talk to his family. or talk to the police that he might try something after you break it off. It's all you can do. You do need to get away though.
2006-07-16 14:44:05 · answer #9 · answered by kevsnow00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you need to get away from him. NOW !
He is grabbing for attention YOURS.
Tell His parents & yours & the Police
HE NEEDS TO BE HELPED.
You can't help him.
If you don't like my answer ask your self this question:
Is this the life I really want for me self a suicidal sig other, the fear the having to keep his ranting from my loved ones?
2006-07-16 14:44:12 · answer #10 · answered by Ryce Queen 13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he did not do it with the last girl, he won't do it with you. He just uses that as a means to control you. You need to worry about your self more, what ever he does your not responsible for it. Just leave before this gets even more messy
2006-07-16 14:45:05 · answer #11 · answered by tall_slimm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋