how do you cope with after someone close to you dies and even if its been a couple of years?

Answer 1

You wait. You take as much time as you need. If you're religious, you pray. But the bottom line is, life and death are completely natural and we have to face this fact. This person obviously touched your life and that's something to celebrate. Celebrate. It's what he/she would've wanted. Probably what they're waiting for. Who knows, they may be watching right now. Get well. Get happy. You deserve it.

Answer 2

My mom died two years ago. My dad died when I was three. It's hard.

I cope by talking to friends and family and taking life a day at a time.

Prayer has helped me most of all. I'm a Christian and prayer has been a very big source of help for me.

Don't let anyone tell you there's a time limit on grieving. There isn't. We all have to go through it. You must go through it to get through the toughest times.

Cry if you need too. Pray and talk to others. Also, if you can recall the good memories of the person that you had, it will help. If there was something funny that makes you smile; or a warm memory, it will help you to remember the good times.

There will be days when it's harder than others to get through. Even when you're feeling stronger, there will be moments of pain. I'm still grieving over my mom, but it's easier now than in the very beginning. I'm sure I will miss her the rest of my life, but I will see her again on the other side.

I wish you peace and healing.

Answer 3

I lost my father in the beginning of this year this site helped me...

Seven Choices of Grief
While there is no set progression through grief, there is a process we follow with choices along the way. Elizabeth Harper Neeld, Ph.D., has identified "seven choices" -- the steps in the grief process.

First Choice: Impact
The initial crisis after the event. This phase may last days or weeks after learning of the death of your loved one. This phase can be characterized by reactions —specifically physical, behavioral, emotional, and cognitive.

Second Choice: Second Crisis
The second crisis occurs any time during the first few months. The numbness from impact has worn off and the bereaved may feel more pain than they believed was possible. It is important to experience the pain and not try to hide it or "be strong" for others. Friends and family members may have returned to their lives at this point, so looking into community resources may be ideal.

Third Choice: Observation
The next phase is a time to reminisce and re-experience the deceased, according to author Theresa A. Rando. Many old memories will be recalled, many are surprised by the amount of everyday moments they recall.

Fourth Choice: The Turn
In a downward swing after experiencing their loss, the bereaved starts to adjust to a life without the deceased. Hopefully, the reinvesting in life begins and the widow and/or family makes the turn upward.

Fifth and Sixth Choice: Reconstruction and Working Through
The bereaved has relinquished attachments to old roles, relationships, and to the world of the deceased. Instead, a new relationship with the departed —a relationship of memory is developed. This is the time that the bereaved starts to take action and reinvest themselves in a world without their loved one.

Seventh Choice: Integration
Finally, in integration, we are able to think of the deceased person without pain. There is always a sense of sadness, but it lacks the wrenching quality it previously had.

Times or life events that may rekindle grief reactions:

Dates
New and additional crises
Rituals

Answer 4

U can never just cope my brother died a year ago and i still have a lot of trouble coping with it but i think that he is in a better place and his safe most ppl think like if something small and u can forget about it but thats not true it hurts alot and u will always remember and never cope with it ....

Answer 5

It never easy, especially when you love the person SO much! I lost my dad last October, and there is not a day,hour,minute, or second that goes by that I don't think about him. We were very close and always had been. Losing him was a shock b/c it was sudden and unexpected. Personally, I don't think that I will ever get over it, but I know what type of man my father was and I know that he would have wanted for my sister and I to continue to live lives and take care of our children. But I think about it often and even when I start to "get down" I think about it and I not only realize that I was lucky to have him in my life for at least 30 years when some people grow up not even knowing their father, but what makes me even happier is that I know that I will see him again one day.

Answer 6

It is so hard to lose someone that you love. I lost my mom 10 years ago and I still have a hard time at Mothers Day, Christmas, and holidays. She was not only my mother but she was my one true friend. I grieved so hard for her for the longest time. I prayed the hardest I've ever prayed in my life, to get my strength back. Time does heal the pain, but you never forget them. Always focus on the good memories of them and it will help you cope.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. I lost my mother last spring, so the wound is still fresh.

All I can say is, don't disconnect from your support network (I assume that you have one; if not, get one). Other family members will be dealing with the same loss, so you're all stronger if you lean on each other. I don't know how I would've handled my Mom's death without my brothers. If you don't have relatives whom you can lean on, you need your friends during this time.

If all else fails, keep yourself busy. Throw yourself into your job, volunteer, become active at church, whatever. Sometimes you have to let a wound scab over before you're ready to really deal with it. Whatever you choose, don't isolate yourself, and don't let other people dictate the schedule of your healing. Only you will know when you're over this. Just be sure to let other people help you get over it -- when what they're offering you is truly help.

Answer 8

It is never easy to lose someone and i know how u feel. I lost my dad & one of my grandmas in 1996 and i still have a hard time with it. You will one day be able to come to terms with it, it just takes time and believe me for some people it takes longer. I suggest you ask your family, friends, local dr or a councillor to help you.
Prayer has helped me as I'm a Chriestian/Catholic & its been a very big help to me.
Please dont feel bad to cry as its normal & good to cry as it can help in so many ways to release our problems.
I wish you peace & healing remember there is someone looking over us that is there for you not matter what time it is.

Answer 9

It is tough. I have been there on more than one occasion. Just ask yourself if your loved one would want you to remain a mess indefinitely? Once you answer that question things should be clearer.

Putting my dad into the ground is among the hardest things I have ever done. I still miss him but the things he taught me are are now mine to pass on and I am doing the best job of it that I possibly can.

Good luck and hang in there, you will find the reason for YOU to go on.

Answer 10

It is never easy to lose someone and i know how u feel. My step dad who was like a real dad to me cause i did not know my real father died in 2001 and i still have a hard time with it. You will one day be able to come to terms with it it just takes time and believe me for some people it takes longer.