hi am separated and i love my kids dearly they dont wanna see me cos there mother?

Question

is being a **** help its killing me

Answer 1

I would go to the courts, family court and have it settled that legally if you are the father of those children and have been in their lives, and love them dearly, well then you have every right to be in their lives now. Regardless of the situation that you and your wife, seperation, that is a different issue. The fact of the matter is, it doesn't sound like your wife is being too mature right now and putting her kids first, and thinking of what is best for them. However, if she has cause or reason to believe that you have abused them in some way, or done something to them, then she needs to go the courts, with that proof. It becomes a legal nightmare. We have seen this a hundred times between couples. I would hope that once the dust settles, you and your wife can come to your senses, and an agreement on what is best for your kids, put your kids first and seperate or detach your emotions, whatever happened, from them. It's not their fault, and they need to be thought of. So if she isn't going to be levelheaded about it, has been hurt or whatever, then go to the courts, because both parents do have a right legally. It is all a sad situation if you ask me but you can all make the best of it. Get yourself a good lawyer to set it up legally for now, in family court, about the kids. No matter if it is a temporary situation with the seperation or not. Good luck! Be mature, be strong and put your thoughts to your kids, they need both parents to raise them in this crazy world, as long as it is all a healthy relationship.

Answer 2

No, don't try any deal it could backfire. Yes, alienation of affection is the name of this game.
1. Get a steady friend to have with you right through this time. You need someone.
2. Write down what she writes says on the phone and does, if you can pay to have her watched day and night and esp. the week ends.
3. Get a statement, even if it means visiting another physician, that you are stable you have a steady life and reliable friends and pose no danger to your child. Find out what she has on you, what dirt she can find.
Deal with it.
4. Get a lawyer working on this with Legal Aid aid by the Legal Services Commission, names can be found on-line. Or, pay him/her asap.
Do not delay. Every week works against you.
Get some money even if you have to work day and night and it is good therapy.The courts are looking at the money more and more.
Don't worry just work at it; if the child is worth it?

Answer 3

I feel bad whenever a parent tries to hide their children from the other parent. Again, I do not know your situations so I'll try to handle this as best as I can. Have you ever threaten her in any way? Were you ever abusive to her? Why did she leave? As for the kids, did you ever physically abuse them? If you can answer these question honestly and positive about did not engage in anything unlawfully, then you have good grounds to stand on. However, either way I suggest that you get legal advice. Appoint a lawyer to represent you and he/she could lead you in the right direction. As I state earlier, I hate when a parent cannot see their child because of another parent. You have your right as a parent, get the papers rolling. You deserve to see your children. I wish you all the best. Keep praying while I do the same for you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Look it depends on your children's ages they may not want to see you. Now I am a teen in the position of your kids, well and truly I've been there, however my mother would never say or do anything bad against my father but my father is in your position he thinks the same...maybe your kids do not want to see you? As hard as it may seem OR if it is her, keep a diary of the events and save it for the courts try not to be agressive because it will work in her favour for turning them against you.

Try not to drag her through the dirt because they wont apreciate it, to them she's their beloved mother who protects them and well as hard as it is she's their mother so she will always protect them (unless she's not in the right frame of mind!) so they'll love her for that. You take your diary and you take it to the courts, or get yourself a lawyer and if you haven't got enough money for a lawyer I suggest you get a new job and pick yourself up because without that your digging yourself deeper.
Be nice but not sickly - I hate when my dad does that! Don't be aggressive ( less swearing for a start, it wont get you anywhere with a woman!) and try to stay calm, never give up though because it wont look good to them, her or the courts.

I think you should try getting permission by the courts to see them at arranged times or something! Try not putting her in jail though ( unless she breaks a rule that the courts made and it had to be done) because I can say if my dad ever did that to my mother I'd hate him because as much as he thinks she's turning me against him she's not and she's actually nice (you have to make sure you have proof of it because it could just be your own paranoia!) and I'm sure your kids would hate you too, because as I said, to them she's the one who does everything for them! (I assume as you gave no further details about the situation)

I hope that helps you! All I can say is your position in life has to be a good one, you cant be a bum and complain about these things because that will be like scoring a home goal! Good luck though!

Answer 5

if you go and see your lawyer,and tell him/her what is going on,they can help you. I know that may mean draging your kids through it,but it might be the only way. Your ex may be posoning your kids minds. So what you need to do when you get your rights is tell them your side,but make it a true one. Your kids might be funny at first,but they'll soon come round. Tell them that you love them. And if a judge rules that you have rights to see them. Theres nothing you ex can do,if she does then it wont look good on her part. What ever went on between you both,isnt the kids fault.

Answer 6

well ive just separated,, not so long since,, and ive two boys to my ex,,ive never stopped my two little boys,age 5 and nearly 8,,from seeing their dad,, but it pisses me off when he hasnt seen them all week,,, and fetches a bag of sweets and spends half hour,, with them,, i wanted him to see them regular a few times a week,, but when he isnt working its usually the pub that comes first, then i feel guilty for the kids,, but they arent missing out on anything,, hardley if ever ask to go with him anymore,, its his loss at the end of the day,, children are the innocent party??plus i hate it cos he thinks hes getting at me not seeing the kids,, as though its a game,,

Answer 7

try appealing to her better nature, if she has one

i cant stand women like that it gives the rest of us a bad name, but i commend you for wanting to see your kids when so many fathers dont give a dam...
tell her you'll fight to see them if she wont let you, you have rights to see your kids, after all it took both of you to make them! she thought you were good enough to father them in first place and has no right to stop you seeing them, i bet she takes money off you doesnt she?

good luck and keep trying, but dont stoop to her level,
hope you get what you want sooner rather than later :)

Answer 8

You could hire an attorney and get a legal separation. You could specify visitation times for your children. She will have to comply.

Answer 9

document everthing she does, its called alination of affection and you could take your kids from her, push through to a divorce, and that way the issue of visitation will come sooner , that way she wont have so much time to poison them, and besides , they dont have a choice, if she doesnt make them comply the she can go to jail, it will work out.

Answer 10

here mate i know how you feel my daughter's 21 this sep and she hasen't been near me since she was 13 and i diden't do nothing wrong i send letters now and then.All everybody can is be patien't and maybe she will see sence,yes when it's too late.Well you must do what your heart tells you not what anyone else say's.Ezzenow keep strong.