My sister and I have never had a close relationship, in fact she has always been very deceptive and destructive to everyone around her, including herself. I would like to attend her wedding, but not be in the wedding party. How can I respectfully decline her invite without destroying what little relationship we do have left?
2006-07-16 12:02:39 · 19 answers · asked by lt10_99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you probably cant.
2006-07-16 12:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jessi B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just suck it up and go through with it. You will get to be dressed up and look great. You may really enjoy yourself and she will be very appreciative. Just because she is crude doesn't mean you have to make her feel bad. I would do it to be nice and show that you are willing to do it if just to show her kindness. However if she is being mean or making you do everything for her and you are feeling totally stressed because of her expectations, then you should decline the offer as soon as possible to give her time to find someone else. I would be honest about it if she is being a real Bich. Otherwise I would tell her that I do not feel comfortable b/c you do want to be in front of all those people or that you just do not want to do it b/c you do not want to. She may be shallow and get mad, but she will have to live with it.
2006-07-16 20:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't apologize, don't explain. "I'm so honored that you've thought of me in this way -- but I just can't take on the responsibility right now." Notice that you aren't giving any reason WHY you can't take it on. If you give a reason, then your sister can argue to overcome your objecting, in which case you'd think up a new reason, which she would also try to overcome, and so on. Remain vague: "It just doesn't work for me" and "I'm afraid it's impossible". Perhaps you could offer to help her address invitation or help in some other drudgery as a gesture of good will.
2006-07-16 22:02:49 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart..the best thing to do it to be a part of your sister's big day. I understand that you have not had a very close relationship with your sister, (I don't have a close relationship with mine either) but I know that it would mean the world to her if you were her M.O.H...if you never had any type of relationship with your sister, now is the time to be close to her and show your support of her marriage.
(If push comes to shove, ask her to list you as an honorary bridesmaid) Good Luck!
2006-07-16 21:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an important time for your sister and although you may have had issues in the past...her asking you to be the maid of honor shows that she would like you to support her. I wouldn't recommend backing out....this may be a way for the two of you the get closer.
2006-07-16 19:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy. Just tell her that while you want to be part of this special day, you just can't be her maid of honor. If you've never been close, then she is probably just asking you out of loyalty to a family member. She probably has a friend that she really wanted to ask anyway.
2006-07-16 19:06:34 · answer #6 · answered by Chainsawmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. She's your sister and this is an important time for her and she is asking for your support. This could be the perfect opportunity for you to salvage your relationship, or at least improve it. Don't give up this chance to be a part of your sister's wedding and create memories that will last forever.
2006-07-17 01:58:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't! The hardest thing to do is to beat someone when they are holding you close! If I give a woman some flowers and she crushes them in her hands, throw them to the ground and smash them with her feet, then I touched her. If she cared nothing, she would just leave them and go her way!
Do not dirty your very beautiful person by throwing dirt on yourself. She IS your sister, do what YOU know to be the right thing!
2006-07-16 19:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just be honest with her. Tell her you're not comfortable with it because of your past. The same thing just happened to a friend of mine, only the girl wasn't her sister. She just took her dress back and tearfully told her she couldn't do this. She didn't feel it was right, but she would be more than happy to be there watching. Good luck...but don't do something you're not comfortable with.
2006-07-16 21:13:40 · answer #9 · answered by *~*~*~*~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this day is all about her
every day is all about her
if you get too involved you'll end up getting annoyed
just be honest, and if she respects your wishes its a bonus
say you want to be there but being the maid thing is too much pressure and offer to do the flowers or collect the cake - something that reassures her that your on the project.
2006-07-16 19:24:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a toughie. If you can find a reason like wrong church, have to be out of town, can't afford more than a gift, or even the truth would work.
2006-07-16 19:07:00 · answer #11 · answered by karen wonderful 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋