make me laugh and get 10 free points!!!?

Question

keepit clean!
all clean jokes accepted.

Answer 1

Someone in my class told me this.
I'm sorry if you support Bush but............anyways.

Bush was stranded on an island and a genie came to him and said,"You have two wishes. What is your first wish?" Bush said,"I wish I was back in the White House." Poof...He was in the White House. The genie said," What is your second wish?" Then Bush said," I Wish my people were happy." Poof...He was back at the island.



Here is another George Bush joke:


George Bush was teaching a 3rd grade spelling class. He said they were going to be learning the word " tragedy " He asked is anyone could give an example of a tragedy. One boy raised his hand and said a school bus filled with kids that blew up would be a tragedy, but george said " no that would be a bad accident" one girl raised her hand and said " a guy that fell off a cliff would be a tragedy" but george said no that would be suicide. Then proudly this other little boy raised his hand his hand and said " a plane that had you and your wife in it and it crashed would be a tragedy" and george said Yes that would be a tragedy. can you tell me why? the boy said it wouldnt be a bad accident and it wouldnt be suicide either.


Sorry If you are a Blonde.This is a Blonde joke:

A Brunette goes to this Blonde's house. The Brunette walked out in the backyard and saw the Blonde's dog. She walk back in the house and says,"why is your dog wearing a watch?" The blonde answers back," It is supposed to wear a watch because it's a watchdog."

This is another Blonde joke:

There is a blonde who gets pulled over by a blonde police.The cop asks for her license..the Blonde looks through her purse..and asks what does it look like, the cop says its a rectangular thing you can see yourself in..so the blonde looks through her purse again and pulls out a mirror looks in it and shows it to the cop..the cop says oh i didnt know you were a cop go on ahead.

Answer 2

um okay idaho or udaho the states

this is a blonde joke im not sosure it will keep exactly clean but here it is.:
okay there were three blond girls going into a hair salon one was doing a manicure it came out good
the other was doing a pedicure it came out ok.
then the other was going to do a hair dye she had blonde hair ok
the lady that was doing her hair says you have such natural green hair what did you do with it?
then the girl answers: oh i keep it natural just by picking my nose and rubbiing my bugors in my hair!!!! illl i know



okay another one :
there was a stormy night that dracula went into a two story dark house he went to the kitchen went upstairs went into a room and he buttered the bread that was on the desk!!!!




ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!
i hope i made you laugh...

Answer 3

ok there was these three guys, Jim, Bob, Jimbob. so 1 day they fell through the earth and landed in the core. they saw the devil and these little clock contraptions on Jim and Bob's heads. so the devil says those clock things turn 1 second every time u sin. any questions. so Jim asks where is Jimbob's? I use that as a fan. lol

Answer 4

a county sheriff is sitting outside the local biker hangout, and waits,, soon a drunk biker wanders outside throws a empty beer bottle aside belches and soils himself as he trys to mount his hog, the sheriff thinks to himself.." theres an easy ticket, maybe he gots warrants too..." the biker passes out on the ground near his scoot, the sheriff decides to play it safe and nail him as he leaves, soon the bar closes , and everyone one by one leaves, meanwhile the sheriff waits.. around 4:30 the biker wakes up looks around sees the bar closed, and hops aboard his scoot and high tails it outta the lot, the sheriff hits his overhead lights a mile down the road, and the biker pulls over, the sheriff tells him, 'sir, you going to jail for DUI.',,the biker responds'wait i ain t drunk!'.the sheriff tells him,'buddy i saw you come out dead drunk and pass out, now blow into this so i can confirm it and arrest your drunk butt'.. so the biker breathes hard into the machine for the sheriff, 0.0 was the results of the test,,' thats impossible i watched you passout less then 5 hours ago there has to be something in your system!'..ohhh says the biker' you dont understand, tonight i was the DD'...."whats a DD the lawman yells?"..the designated decoy replies the biker....

Answer 5

its not really clean but its funny sorry,
there is a construction guy on the fifth floor of a building he needs a handsaw but doesnt want to go down so he signals to another worker on the floor, the worker on the 5th floor tries to yell but its too high and he cant be heard, so he points to his eye meaning I then to his knee meaning need and moves his hands in a back and forth motion meaning handsaw the guy on the floor pulls down his pants and starts to masturbate the guy on the 5th floor is furious so he goes down and tell the guy "what the hell are you doing i motioned to u that i needed a handsaw jackass!" the other guy looks at him and says " i know i told you i was coming!"

Answer 6

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.''

Answer 7

Okay, Jesus walked into an Inn. Threw 3 nails on the table and said to the Inn keeper, " can you put me up for the night ."

Answer 8

What does a man consider a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

What does a blonde consider a seven course meal?

Too much or not enough.

Answer 9

The Village Idiot

There was a flood in a village.

One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!"

The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said "Come on mate, get in!"

"No" replied the man. "God will save me!"

The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.

A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.

"No, God will save me!" he said

Eventually he died by drowning.

He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!"

Answer 10

A comic once asked members of his audience a question... "What is the first thing you think about before you go to bed at night?"..

A 88 year old granny yelled out, "Masturbation!!!!!"

LOL