How do you nicely say no to another mom who wants to get together with you and your children and her children? We have little in common. So how can I say no without offending her?
2006-07-16 11:37:12 · 11 answers · asked by guesswho 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
We have not ever gotten together but just talked on the phone and I can tell we parent totally differently and are of different religions.
2006-07-16 11:49:49 · update #1
Say ‘nicely’? You dont. Some years ago I was placed in a similar situation. A friend of our family said that she wanted and was planing to organize times for her new step daughter and my daughter to spend time together. This put me on the spot then and there, and I could see no diplomatic way out, so I simply said what I really felt, which was, “sorry, but I dont feel your daughter would be a good influence on mine.” You can imagine that went over like a lead balloon but one thing you must never do is pussyfoot around issues where your young child’s social interactions are involved.
2006-07-16 14:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by John M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think theres really any honest way you can tell her and not have her be offended. I don't think anyone takes rejection well, and I'm sure that's just what she'll feel. You just really have to think if it will really matter to you if she gets upset or not, I mean if you see her all the time and will still have to deal with her. I would probably just make up something (like the majority of people do, not that it's right) and eventually she'll get the hint. Sometimes we just don't mesh well with other people...but sometimes if you take the time to get to know somebody you might figure out that you have more in common than you think you do. Best wishes!!
2006-07-16 18:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because your parenting styles are different, doesn't mean she isn't a good person or her child wouldn't be a good influence or vice versa to your child. Aren't you teaching your child to be biased by discriminating against someone you don't really know or have taken the chance to even get to know. Let them have a play date, and if the initial play date doesn't go well then you have a reason to say "no".
If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love friends for their sake rather than for our own.
Charlotte BrontÃ
2006-07-19 20:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by Gemini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its a one time thing... just asy you have plans that day (and then later on tll her those plans were cancelled at the last minute, because usually the kids will mess up the lie so they need to be lied to as well).
If it's an on going thing where you never want to hang out with her... just be honest with her and say, you don't really feel comfortable with this arrangement yet and you think it would be better if you don't.
2006-07-16 18:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ma Mang 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know..this is a tough one. You don't see anything in common-but you don't want to hurt her feelings. I am going to challenge you here...why don't you just say 'yes'. Just once. See how your kids get along (they might be fab friends) and it really is about the kids mostly. Also, you might not think you have a lot in common, but what if you do? That often happens. I've made plenty of friends that way..taking a risk.
Good luck to you!
2006-07-16 23:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could simply say you have a very busy schedule and leave it at that. Or you could try using your nap schedule (if your kids nap) to hide behind. I know it isn't ideal as we all would like to be honest and upfront, but sometimes a white lie is the kindest way to go.
I had a similar situation, but in my case the mom was my best friend and my daughter was just plain scared of her son who was quite aggressive. Needless to say our friendship ended as I broached the subject of discipline.............
2006-07-16 18:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by Hoot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that you cant find the time to make a play date...or just tell her straight up that you too have nothing in common
2006-07-16 18:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by sjeboyce 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be best friends with her, let the kids play together. What does religion have anything to do with it???
2006-07-17 07:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her down easy apologize and immediately set another play-date for next time to make up for it.
2006-07-16 18:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, "Give me your number, and I'll call you when we aren't so busy all the time." Then hope that she gets the hint when you don't call.
2006-07-16 18:41:56 · answer #10 · answered by jenh42002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋