I am the baby of the family. I was an accident. My parents were 39(mom) and 52(dad) when I was born. My siblings were 11, 12, 14, and 14. I found it difficult to find a place to fit in in a family where all the other kids were practically grown. Not that I was horribly unhappy, but I had some very lonely times and have often felt overlooked and unneccessary. Like an extra in a movie or something. I know this has had an effect on the way I am.(Shy, removed, constant circus going on in my head) If anyone could shed some light on this, I would appreciate it.
2006-07-16 11:01:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am second daughter, in a family of 4 girls.
I too, always felt ignored. My oldest sister, who is 18 months older than me, is very smart with music and numbers. She plays the piano and went to a technical highschool, graduated a university, and just went through her 2nd divorce.
The third daughter was killed about 14 years ago, but she was always putting my parents through a lot of worry in life.
My baby sister is 6 years younger than me, and now sings and records cd's in Atlanta.
I was married, had 2 kids, and am now divorced.
I've always felt like the middle child as I was growing up, because of my older and my younger sister just under me. With 6 years between me and the baby girl, it just worked out that way. Now the sister under me is dead, and here I am in the middle again.
The baby always got everything, The oldest was always the first to do everything, and me, I was just left to my own resources most of the time. When I got the highest score in reading in my entire gradeschool, my teacher made a big deal about it. But when I told my family, it seemed like no big deal. If the oldest or the baby had made this accomplishment, it would have been. Because of that score, I was placed in a French class, handling my 8th grade classes as well as French at a local high school before classes. Again, no big deal. I was placed in honors english, advanced placement, and my IQ was tested at 160. Again, no big deal. But I dealt with it. I'm 44 now, and I've learned to do many amazing things, but I have problems about letting others know about my talents. I am also a teacher.
So when it comes to birth order, from my own experience, I see that the oldest is highly favored as the first born, the baby is highly favored as the final born, the troublesome child gets much attention, and the middle child is usually forgotten.
2006-07-16 11:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by classyjazzcreations 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that the age difference between you and your siblings is probably more significant than you being "an accident." I suggest that you find ways to get to know your siblings better on a one-to-one basis - in othe words, outside of the normal family gatherings. If you can establish closer relationships with each sibling, individually and as a group (i.e., without the parents), then you won't feel like such an outcast when the whole family gets together.
2006-07-16 11:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by TrippingJudy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think birth order does affect the way people are...for example, the oldest child tends to be more assertive, protective of the youngest child(ren), and parents tend to expect them lead an example towards the others. The youngest or baby of the family (that's what I am), tends to be overprotected, and if you're anything like me, your parents have higher expectations for you because they think you should learn from your siblings' mistakes, thereby putting more pressure on you. And yeah, I tend to be a little withdrawn and introverted too, but that has nothing to do with being the youngest, you're just don't have a strong connection with your brothers and/or sisters; I don't either to tell you the truth (the age difference between me and my siblings is pretty wide too: they're in their 30s and I'm only 21). But it's just the way things are; society treats us based on how we react with them, so our upbringing is a key factor in life...
2006-07-16 11:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by Cynicaldreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the books I've read on the subject you would be consider and only or oldest child because of the large age difference between you and you sibs. Usually that turns out to be a highly motivated person, a type a personality, and/or a highly insecure person. That's about all I remember right now but there are some great books on the subject.
2006-07-16 13:34:38 · answer #4 · answered by S J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the baby of the family is the funny and carefree. Maybe with the big age difference you would be categorized as an only child type. They are very successful and are rarely lonely, but they are driven to succeed like a first born. Most of this is probrably hogwash and you are who you are, and you seem like a nice person.
2006-07-16 11:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first kid is always the one that has the strictest guidelines by parents. The more kids you have, the less strict parents get and become lenient with more and more. Example: I was never allowed to have fiends (my parents made up stories about their parents and how I shouldn't like them.. just bc they didn't want me to leave the house).. where my brother was allowed to have lots of after school time w/his friends.
The youngest child often feels left out. You are the youngest and have had less life experiences. If that makes sense.. It just doesn't mean they love you any less.
2006-07-16 11:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by lvs4cheap 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can get a book on that
2006-07-16 12:41:01 · answer #7 · answered by Julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋