I know someone who has been going steady with her boyfriend for eleven years now. She is 28 years old but, I do not know how old her boyfriend is. I guess a couple of years ago, the boyfriend had sex with another women on several ocassions. I know this, because his girlfriend would drive by the house while he was in with the other women and she had strong instincts about what was going on. As a result, the other women got pregnant and she had his baby. Now, the girlfriend would not talk to him for a long time when she found out about this. But, somehow, she has forgave him and they are still going steady for 11 years. She has not told her parents about the boyfriend she has been dating for 11 years. And, they do not know about her boyfriend.I know I should mine my own business. My grandmother thinks that something is seriously wrong with the girl. Also, her boyfriend will not allow the girl to go in bars. He is afraid men will flirt with her. Is this relationship healthy?
2006-07-16 10:28:51 · 13 answers · asked by brooke992002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no it is not healthy at all! if shes not allowed in a bar because hes afraid of other men flirting with her but yet he goes and sneaks aroung getting another girl pregnant than she needs to get wise and bold and walk away from that man cuz if he sees she will put up with it and still take him back than he'll keep coming back. as long as he knows she will take him back than he will stay. like when you feed a stray animal it will always come back for more. same situation.
2006-07-16 10:39:47 · answer #1 · answered by jh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. The cheating...well, unfortunately, people screw up. Forgiveness is not unhealthy, but trusting someone when they aren't trustworthy is. If he never cheated again, I don't think he relationship is necessarily unhealthy.
2. Not telling parents...could mean something's seriously wrong with the boyfriend, but something could be seriously wrong with the parents, instead.
3. Not allowing her to go to bars because he's afraid men will flirt with her? That's not healthy...sounds like the behavior of a potentially abusive man to me.
2006-07-16 10:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Healthy, no. But pretty common, yes. If I were her, I would get out of that relationship faster than a blink of an eye. However, you, being her friend, should talk to her. Don't try to force her out of it, but sit and talk to her, explaining that if he thinks he should be able to sleep with other women then won't even give her the liberty to go to a bar, there's obviously something wrong.
2006-07-16 10:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by silly_emo_hair 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, we know the author is the main character in the story so let's just make that clear right now.
Secondly, this girl has SEVERAL problems.
-Insecurity,
-Abusive relationship
The boyfriend is a F'ing jack@ss. He needs to realize that women and especially his woman, are not property. He needs to check himself or she needs a real man that can take care of her, and put her man in check.
What the hell is wrong with this girl?
2006-07-16 10:36:49 · answer #4 · answered by Swift Ninja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a waste of 11 years of her life. Has she not figured out by now that the relationship is going no where. Wow, she needs somebody to open her eyes.
And he won't 'allow' her to go in bars. Who is he, her father? And she's listening to him. Geeze! She's headed for disaster.
And, just to make it clear to you......this is NOT a healthy or normal relationship!
Have a good day.
2006-07-16 10:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by Cyndee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this is definitely not a healthy relationship. he cheated on her once, which means there is a possibility he may do it again. Also, when a guy shows signs of being controlling it's always best to get the hell out of that relationship ASAP.
2006-07-16 10:36:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is healthy as long as she feels that she is happy being with him. Some people rather give than receive love.
However, if he starts to hit her and being controlling. Then you should advise her to go get some help or leave him.
2006-07-16 10:34:14 · answer #7 · answered by desperatehousewife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not healthy. You know it's not healthy. She must like it though because she has no ties but is still there so don't worry. When she wants out, she can get out.
2006-07-16 10:32:33 · answer #8 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's totally creepy and I think you should just keep your mouth shut. It sounds like something that if you meddle may blow up in your face. Stay safe honey...keep quiet on this one. She is responsible for her own actions , not you..xx
2006-07-16 10:33:20 · answer #9 · answered by serenity seeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she needs to get out of it. But she also needs to be sure, that her strong instincts aren't mistaken.
2006-07-16 10:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋