Does the father have any rights?

Question

8 years ago, I got pregnant. My boyfriend demanded that I have an abortion, which I agreed to, and then he left me for someone else. We never spoke again.

I decided not to abort and kept the child. I never reported him as the father anywhere. I would have told the father of my decision, but we lived in two different cities and I had no contact information for him. His number was unlisted and my attempts to find him failed.

Recently, I found a way to contact him after all these years and I think I should let him know I kept the baby.

If I do this, does he have any rights to my child anymore? Can he try to take me to court for anything? What is the worst that could happen?

We are in Texas.

I do not want anything from him.

I have never tried to get child support from him and never will.

I just think he has a right to know. Is this wrong?

Is there not some statute of limitations on things like this?

Answer 1

Yes he has the right top see his child. You also have the right to child support from him. Contact a lawyer before you do anything.

Answer 2

Well... there are a lot of things to consider here. None of us can tell you the worst case scenario because we do not know the Father. You can approach him and have paternity established, at which time he would become legally liable for child support. He would also be entitled to visitation. That may or may not be a good thing. He might be happy to learn that you did not abort. Not having contact with this guy over the past few years you do not know if the knowledge of the pregnancy/abortion has haunted him all of these years. On the other hand, he may still feel that he does not want to be a Father. That, in my opinion, would be the worst scenario. In that case, he would still be liable for the child support but he would not have to force visitation.

Your child will eventually, if not already, start asking questions about his "Father." If you approach the man and tell him he has a child, you can be guilt free when your child starts asking the questions because you did not withhold his existence from the biological Father. In my own experience although not the same, my first husband makes little effort to see his children of the marriage, but the children still have a curiosity about him and where they came from. One child wants to see him, the other could care less because they feel abandoned. That really will depend on your son and personality. Honesty is best. Don't try to protect the child from the truth and cover for his Father with lies. You can be honest in a way to make the child understand that it is not him, but it is the immaturity or inability on the part of the biological Father to accept responsibility for another human being. That truth can be shared in a non hurtful way when the child is old enough.

Answer 3

HONESTLY I THINK if he ever cared at all by now he would have followed up to be sure you aborted or to see if you indeed kept the child. From the start to him this was something he could toss out. iF HE NEVER came asking i would assume the child ment NOTHING TO HIM. He had no intent on the child being born or cared if it was or not, SO WHY SHOULD HE BE TOLD NOW? If you don't need support from him and you already know he never came around asking about what happend let it be. If the child WANTS to know him YES, the child should be told who he is but, also be told the dad may not want to be a part of his life. You can only do what you think is best if it were me i would have told him when the child was BORN. If i did not tell him then it would be hard to come into his life years later droping a kid on him after so long.

Answer 4

He has every right any father has. It is his child. As far as back child support goes, He will not be forced to pay any. You robbed him of 8 yrs of his childs life. I dont see how these other people who have ansered this question can say he wont be interested anyway. How do you know that, he doesnt know there is a child now. Actually he can take you to court he has a right to his kid and he can file for emotional damages. You better let him know NOW he has a child before things get any worse then they are. Maybe he still wont want anything to do with the child. Best thing you can do is tell him about your child and if he doesnt want anything to do with him have him sign off as the childs father. Dont you think your child has the right to know who is father is too? Also knowing the fathers family medical history could be a life saver to your child someday. The longer you wait the worse things can get.

Answer 5

I think you need to tell him he is a father, but make sure in that same conversation he knows that you don't want child support. If he eventually finds out, there could be legal ramifications on you for not telling him. He has a legal right to the child, including knowing that you didn't abort. You can also ask him to voluntarily terminate his parental rights. Then he has no legal claim to your child. If he tries to fight you, I don't think there will be to hard of a fight for you to keep custody, but then go after him for full child support. After he demanded you abort the baby, I can't see the courts giving him any real rights.

Answer 6

Before he can have rights, the courts will have to establish paternity. After that is taken care of, yes he could get visitation rights. I can sympathize- I had my son and told the father and he didn't step up at that time. If we weren't important enough to him then, why would I ever want to subject my son to that rejection now at age 10. I was married when my son was 2 yrs old and my husband has been his *Dad* since my son was 6 months old. Yeah- so he has a biological *father* out there (I consider him the *donor* is all) but that does not make him *Dad* by any means. You need to weigh the outcome of telling your son- not only on his and your life but the Father's and his family's life too.
Good luck!!!! (with whatever you decide)

Answer 7

You should consult a lawyer...his "rights", if any, will vary considerably, depending on the laws of the state you live in.
Some states will require him to pay child support and at the same time offer NO parental rights...due to the fact the child was not concieved or born in wedlock. Try legal aid in your area first...if you're a single mom, I'm sure money is not growing on trees for you.

Answer 8

The only way to get anything from him is to establish paternity via courts and a DNA test. That will give him also he right to see his child, unless a court determines he can't for any reason. Do you really want to grant this person rights over a child he wanted dead? It seems to me he did not want anything elso to do with you; leave him alone, and find a man that adores you and can be a good role model for your child.

Answer 9

if you legally claim that he is indeed the father, he does I belive he has the choice of claiming joint custody of the child, (i doubt he would want to, considering he wanteted to abort it) and he is requuired to pay you a certian amount of money every year/month for the purpose of bringing up the child. So if money is an issue, i think it would help to declare him as the father.
I must say these are California laws, so i do not know to what extent they apply in TX, if at all. I would talk to a lawyer.

Answer 10

First of all, I think its very admirable what you are doing for your child...your child deserves to know their father, whether it turns out good or bad. At least your child got the chance to meet him. Yes, he could take you to court for visitation, no he couldn't do anything to you for having the baby ( even sperm donors are required to pay child support if taken to court now) Thank you for not aborting your child, that took alot of courage on your behalf, and I am sure that you are ecstatic that you made that decision and GOD BLESS!!!!!