We went to a restaurant last night, the waitress who served us was pleasant and helpful, our dinner was lovely and warm, but the other girl who came and gave us the bill was a bit 'huffy', she didn't seem to like us and didn't say anything, just chucked the bill on the table and went, when she came back with the change she wasn't friendly at all either. I'm now concerned, would the waitress get to keep the tip herself, or would the huffy other one get some of the tip too? Could someone please tell me the etiquette in these circumstances? Thank you. :)
2006-07-16 10:09:04 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I should just clear something up here:
The waitressess there and the other staff get paid a wage, the tips are a bonus.
There is no matre'd or hostess.
It's in England.
Thank you for your answers so far.
2006-07-16 10:30:04 · update #1
Hey - how'd you get all serious sensible useful answers to this? What's the trick?
I think most tips are pooled amongst the serving staff. I go 10% for ordinary service, more for great service, less for miserable service, and nothing if it's gross and offensive. It's a fairly exploitative industry so I say it's me paying tax to the low waged. But then receptionists and cleaners in hotels get a worse time so what should I do there? er...
2006-07-17 09:19:35 · answer #1 · answered by wild_eep 6 · 8⤊ 3⤋
Who keeps the tip is a matter of restaurant policy, which varies by region, type of restaurant, and from one place to the next.
Some places pool tips among the entire staff. At the other extreme some give the entire tip to the waitress, who is then free to "tip out" the people who supported her -- the hostess, busboys, food runners, and bartenders/barbacks. Many restaurants enforce a mandatory tip-out percentage. By law or convention tip outs do not go to managers or other salaried employees, the kitchen staff, owners, or entertainers.
If your waitress was busy, got called away for some reason, or went off shift, she or the manager might have asked someone else to handle the check. That person might have been unhappy for the chore, in a bad mood for some other reason, or just not a good people person. Whatever the reason it's unprofessional of her and the restaurant. At a well-run restaurant with good staff, people realize they're in it together and "cover for" each other, with customer satisfaction their #1 concern. But at others there is a mercenary attitude with everyone is in it for themselves, thinking only how much they keep of the next tip with the least effort.
Chances are, whoever handled your check is not supposed to be the one keeping the entire tip, but if she's anyone other than the waitress she is on a tip out. On the other hand, if it was a cash tip and there's something funny happening, she might have pocketed it.
At a restaurant you tip a percentage based on the overall service experience. Most of that is your own waiter/waitress, but that also involves the general attitude of the staff. In your situation I would have reduced the tip a couple dollars based on that unpleasantness near the end. A zero tip is pretty extreme and I would reserve it for the very worst service. If everyone does that, the waitress is going to realize that this person should not be trusted to handle the check -- so she'll stop doing that if she has the choice, or else complain to her boss if it's management policy.
You should let management know that your service wasn't up to standards. You can talk to the manager on duty. Or you can write in. I wouldn't write a big long letter -- email or a feedback form is best, or else write about the experience on a user review website like citysearch, chowhound, or yelp.com. If you are communicating privately, be sure to note details like the time of day, table, what she was wearing, what you ate, so they can tell who it was. Also tell them if you're a regular and if you think you'll be back. In a public forum I would not point out the identity of the person out of a respect for privacy.
At a decent restaurant management takes feedback seriously because that's sometimes their best way to know how to improve. You can probably do this anonymously, but you can also say who you are -- every once in a while they will write back to thank you, explain, ask for more details, or even offer you a gift certificate or something in appreciation. Be fair and honest, and don't go overboard -- a really bad comment can get people fired.
2006-07-16 10:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by Monso Orda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends, some places the waitress who brings the bill keeps the tip but I think usually they have a kitty and they share the tips at the end of the night. There are some places where they don't expect tips. And if you are talking about what I think you are talking about, didn't you leave a small tip? And I think that particular place includes the price of a tip(about 7% or something) onto the bill so no you shouldn't have tipped.
Sometimes they are not allowed to accept personal tips.
2006-07-17 08:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by Evil J.Twin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dory - did you enjoy your food? That is the most important thing - I dont go to restaurants to question the servicing skills of the waiters/waitresses. If they are huffy, I think you are within your rights to have a quiet word with the manager that that particular persons attitude stinks and that they should have a word with the waiter/waitress. Tips depend on the person - if someone has made me smile and another has not, I would hand the tip to the one who made me smile, whilst looking at the one who had the attitude problem.
2006-07-16 10:20:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just to show that you have some etiquette you should tip. The food is what you went for, that was good, one of the waitresses was excellent, the other, well maybe she had PMT?
People in hospitality earn low pay, they depend on tips.
You can always go up to the nice waitress or the matre'd to pass a gratuity personally & at the same time complain about the bad service you got.
2006-07-16 10:18:39 · answer #5 · answered by super_star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The original waitress simply may have asked the other girl to watch her table or to finish it. If the second waitress was simply closing out the bill, then chances are that the first waitress got all the tip.
If you are ever unsure, grab a manager and hand *them* the tip to ensure that it gets to the correct person. In the process, you'll be telling him about the other waitress's service.
2006-07-16 10:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have these dilemmas all the time. This is my suggestion and it is only a personal one. Didn't come out of a book on etiquette.
I would give the girl who was good, the tip personally. Then if I had the oportunity, mention to her the ill behavior of her co worker. Emphasise that this is a "personal" tip for her alone for her very good work. That way, if the issue of communal tipping came up, the other worker or management would hear of it and at least the "culprit" who undermined others work would be identified and hopefully corrected/informed (or fired!)
The other possible for me would be to average the good with the bad and tip commenserately.
What's important here (to my way of thinking) is that after the tip has been given, YOU come away, feeling the right thing was done.
2006-07-16 10:24:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely the hostess would receive a portion of the tip as part of a tip pool. Those are the breaks. It is always courteous to give a tip to the staff of the restaurant. You had a delicious meal prepared to your liking and served in a prompt manner, you did not have to clear the dishes or cook the meal, nor did you have to wash the dishes or anything else. The percentage might have been smaller ( say only 10% as opposed to the more traditional 15%). The only times it is not necessary to tip are on these occasions you have to serve yourself at a buffet or at a fast food restaurant. otherwise chuck in a bit of your fortune and help those who are struggling to make ends meet.
2006-07-16 10:21:28 · answer #8 · answered by Democestes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have found the nice waitress who served me if she
was still on duty befor I left and tip her if I could. As far as
the huffy waitress getting a tip,no.
2006-07-16 11:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by caroline j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In these situations, and I've been in a few that are similar, I'll typically ensure that the person who deserves the money gets the money.
I've been known to have the specific waitress called over and then I give her the tip myself, thus ensuring that the choice of sharing is up to her.
I've even been known to provide a polite and diplomatic explanation as to why the tip is being provided to that specific person.
Love as always,
Sebastian
2006-07-16 10:14:20 · answer #10 · answered by octo_boi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always ask. Maybe the nice one was in training and the huffy one was doing the training.
That totally sucks -BTW - because the trainor gets to keep any and all tips, even though she basically did nothing.
You could always corner the nice one and find out who that person was and why she was the one handling the bill.
2006-07-16 10:15:46 · answer #11 · answered by xx_pinkylee_xx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋