How do you stop your child from taking tantrums.?

Question

My Youngest son is going through a phase where if he doesnt get what he wants, he just cries and bites and swings his arms wildly. Telling him NO doesnt stop him and obviously we dont want to give in all the time. Whats the best way to deal with him?

Answer 1

I put my daughter in her room and shut her door behind me. She's 4 and very headstrong. I stood outside her door and let her have her tantrum. After about 15 minutes, she came out. So far, it's worked. I know it may sound mean, but sometimes when the tantrum goes ignored, it goes away.

Answer 2

Its a phase, your child is trying to see how he can minapulate you - don't allow it. In a home there is no democracy when it comes to discipline. The earlier you put your foot down the better. It is the beginning of discipline and following rules, which are so important for life.

Learn to deny him his favourite things when he throws a tantrum. Like no tv; confiscate his toys for a while; no goodies for him when you go shopping. Ignore him by putting him in his room until he gets tired of screaming. He throws a tantrum because he KNOWS it bothers you!

My 3 yr old does the same. I send him to his room and close the door (and my ears) until he quiets down. When he is calm, I explain why I am punishing him and explain why he can't have a certain thing. I tell him that if he behaves he will get a reward. If he misbehaves, then he lose tv priviledges and I will leave him at home when I go shopping next (which he really loves). I also tell him that when he says sorry, I love him even more and I give him a big hug to prove it. There are days when he is an angel, and there are days when I think I am failing - but I still keep to the programme. And yes, I do notice the positive changes in him. Perservere, he will outgrow this game eventually as long as you are firm. And when he's good, really make a fuss about it - so he learns to want to be good in order to get your approval and attention.

Answer 3

You should NEVER give in because it teaches the child that throwing a temper tantrum works. I would be more concerned about the biting than the crying and arm swinging. Setting rules and consequences that are enforced and at no time "given in to" are crucial. I suggest that you sit down with your child and explain to him the rules and tell him the consequences of breaking the rules. Also, when explaining it to your child, do it when he's calm - if you do it during a temper tantrum, he won't be able to listen to you effectively. He should know the rules and consequences ahead of time.

Remember - NEVER give in to a temper trantrum - ALWAYS follow through with the consequences. A good example of a consequence is telling him that when he bites, his toys will be taken away and he will have to earn them back by showing good behavior. If he bites, take away his toys and put them somewhere where he won't find them. Gradually (over the next few days), add back a few toys at a time as his behavior improves.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Your answer has to do with the part that states "we don't want to give in ALL THE TIME" implying that you cave in sometimes. As Dr. Phil says, you don't argue with a child. You are the adult, you have to stop the behavior, correct it, and then proceed. This may take consequencing the child, time out etc. You need to get a book on some basic behaviorism. This behavior has been rewarded by you or your spouse. You need to be more consistent. That is the key. You can make these behaviors extinct if you do not reinforce them (either positively or negatively) you need to set up some boundaries. Let some things be ignored all together, if you do decide to take up the sword and address the issue, you have to win that battle, totally, it is WW III then... not violence or any of that, but just a firm resolve that you are the adult and he/she is the child.

But it must be structured and consistent.

Answer 5

Hi....most children go through this phase. Unless there is a medical problem, I think the best way to deal with the situation is to ignore him. Children often have tantrums for attention. If you ignore him, he will eventually realize that the tantrum doesn't work.

You must however praise him often when he is good so he begins to realize that being good will give him the attention that he needs and is looking for.

It's difficult for parents to ignore tantrums, usually because they are embarrassing, .....but eventually the tantrums should subside.

Answer 6

Stop giving in to positive reinforcement. This question should have an age for the child, but it's alright. tantrums are started to gain attention or to gain something. Therefore, stop giving it, and they will realize (yes even a wee little one) that it doens't work as a means to an end anymore, and over time, they will be curbed.

Answer 7

DO NOT GIVE IN, ever. I did and now I've got a little monster on my hands. He's 6 and he pouts, begs, screams, throws himself down on the ground. We were careful for awhile but he wore us down over months. We did find one method that works for us, though.

My son MUST be the center of attention... if we turn our attention from him, he gets upset and if he's removed from our attention, he gets upset. We watch Supernanny and we LOVE Jo. She has some great and effective methods, especially a "thinking area" (chair, rug, step, etc.) where you put him when he pulls this.

Put it in an out of the way area, but not in a place you never go because you need to ensure he's staying there. Get down on his level and in a calm but stern voice, give him one warning: You need to calm down or you will go to the thinking area. If he continues, calmly pick him up or guide him to the thinking area. Tell him he didn't listen to you and he must stay there for so many minutes (one minute for each year of age).

If he gets up, calmly put him back without saying anything. Keep doing it ... AND start the time over ... until he gets the picture. Once he stays for the entire time, go to him and get down on his level again and say "I'd like you to say I'm sorry to me for XXXX" and wait for him to say he's sorry. If no sorry, leave him there for another minute and try again.

Hope that works!

Answer 8

The way i use is to take away any stimulation, let them go for it and show no emotion one way or another, the child is having a battle of wills. if you give in, the child wins and along comes another tantrum, you have to win them all, to end it.

Answer 9

bite him back (gently) so that he knows that it hurts.
When I use to throw tantrums my mom would get on the ground with me and throw one as well. It always made me stop.

When I deal with kids having tantrums in a public area, I just start talking real low. kids are naturally curious and will quiet down so they can hear you.

Answer 10

i usually put my kids in there bedroom i take away all the luxuaries the computer, the gamboy, the tv, the sterio etc etc, so all they have is the bed lol, they stamp and scream, but i tell you it works.and make it known your annoyed with him, and ignore him for a whiole, otherwise hell think thats ok, ive been in my room for awhile mummy will gfive me some sweets soon and forget all about it, until i get mad again.